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Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Anyone else put off by NCT, but still wants to meet other mums-to-be?

26 replies

SassyMaceroon · 24/08/2012 11:31

I am considering initiating a local group (London, E8) of girls (ahem...I'm 34) who want to find an alternative to NCT.

I just feel that there is so much information available on the internet and there are ample, free courses provided by NHS providers, so surely we could side-step the NCT altogether?

Lots of friends recommend joining the NCT, it seems primarily to meet other women, but I am astounded to learn how much a course could cost - not to mention slightly begrudging having to attend on so many occasions.

Has anyone else tried to bypass the NCT? Did you have any joy/success?

I have already collected a few likeminded girls at prenatal yoga classes... if anyone else is interested, lives in Hackney/Islington and has a baby due in October/November/December 2012 - please get in touch.

I am thinking it would be great to start an informal group for meetings over coffee and cake in Hackney Cafes. Grin Brew

OP posts:
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exoticfruits · 25/08/2012 07:20

I found the NCT great for making friends afterwards. I didn't belong before having the children and I never went in a course and I never had to attend anything. An informal group is fine- just means that you have to advertise, whereas people look for the NCT.

katolla · 28/08/2012 12:12

I had the same thoughts about the NCT, it seems to be the same information as the GP ante-natal classes, but £230. I would suck it up and go, just to meet new people in the same position, but my partner isn't keen.

Having said that, I'm in Islington (and sometimes Camden, but close to the north london line), 33, and due in January 2013 if you're starting a group..

Dad1976 · 28/08/2012 22:37

I thought NCT was a charity. Why do I feel mugged by being charged £320? Especially given several of the sessions we wouldn't want. For example we're already booked in to a NHS breastfeeding course. It seems like they are adding sessions just to 'milk me'

exoticfruits · 28/08/2012 22:41

You don't need to do any courses- I didn't even join until they were born and then it was just coffee mornings in each other's houses.

StetsonsAreCool · 28/08/2012 22:41

I didn't go to any NCT classes - couldn't justify spending that much money on something the NHS was providing for free.

After I had DD I went to the Sure Start groups, advertised in the maternity ward and recommended by friends. Again, free, and I've met some of my now closest friends through them.

Again, i resented having to pay to go to a coffee morning, when the council (is it the council?) was providing sessions for free.

I suspect I'm not your target audience Grin

BikeRunSki · 28/08/2012 22:54

NCT classes are about 10% the cost if you are on various benefits. They are a charity yes - and provide support lines for pregnancy, breastfeeding, infant death and so on for free. They do a lot of campaining for maternity policy, antenatal and neo-natal support in the UK, and parents' rights (eg were instrumental in establishing fathers in the delivery room as the norm). Here That is what you are paying towards. The classes are the way of supporting the rest of the charity, in the same way that Oxfam sell Christmas cards. If you don't want to support the charity, then don't.

My PCT don't offer any ante natal classes.

I met friends through NCT and through Surestart and through talking to another pg lady in the shower at swimming one day. They've all be great at various times. I live in a rural area and the kind of set up the OP suggest wouldn't work at all here. It is horses for courses.

Rubirosa · 28/08/2012 22:58

I met baby friends for free at NHS antenatal classes and surestart groups.

plantsitter · 28/08/2012 23:04

I found the NCT useful for the tea groups (cups of tea round people's houses) and newsletters and listings that they sent every month. However I expect how useful they are depends on your area and how many people are actually in the NCT.

maples · 28/08/2012 23:08

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maples · 28/08/2012 23:09

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maples · 28/08/2012 23:14

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tarbet · 29/08/2012 11:29

I've been thinking exactly the same thing. 320 quid just to meet friends when I'm a bit dubious about their championing of natural births when I feel that focusing on one particular way you want to give birth so often leads to disappointment for women. Of course, in a perfect world I'd love to have a four hour labour helped only by candles and holding my midwife's hand but somehow...
Anway, I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt though and handing over the cash as I'm hoping this particular NCT tutor will be informative about ALL kinds of births and my partner can't make the free NHS classes cos they're in the daytime. But I hope I'm not rolling my eyes up the back! Plus I met another woman at my prenatal yoga class who was saying she was just going to make friends. It's a lot of money to pay for a social circle.
Anyway, I wish I lived in Islington and could come along but I'm out in Kingston :(

Embarazada · 29/08/2012 13:25

My partner and I couldn't justify the NCT prices either, but luckily my PCT does offer a couple of free ante-natal classes.
However, if anyone is the W13/W5/W4/W3/TW8/W7 - type area (totally flexible though!) and fancies meeting up, get in touch.

Btw, I'm 32 yo, due 01-02-13

MiniMum97 · 29/08/2012 21:45

I was dubious about attending an NCT course but was keen to be able to meet oter mums. I've been completely put off paying for and funding such an organisation when I came across the thread on this website (childbirth topic) highlighting their production of a paper, along with the RCM and RCOG, promoting a reduction in CS to 20% and an increase in "normal births" which means without the use of epidurals but includes forceps and ventouse deliveries (I am sure we would all love one of those without pain relief!!!!):
www.electivecesarean.com/images12-aug-24%20rcog%20ccg%20press%20release%20final.pdf
This is not in line with current NICE guidelines, is anti choice and anti women. I am disgusted. Needless to say I won't be booking NCT classes!! There are other choices for ante natal classes where I live (cheaper too!) so will book one of those instead maybe worth having a look on online for other antenatal classes in your area?

BikeRunSki · 29/08/2012 21:47

Tarbet they don't champion natural birth. They dicuss all birth options and pain relief, even do a role play c section! The "N" has been for National, not Natural, for many years.

Wanttostayinbedallday · 29/08/2012 22:00

We all came out of our NCT classes thinking that childbirth was going to be a breeze as long as we kept mobile, listened to some music and lit some candles (which the hospitals don't allow btw). I had friends hiring birthing pools for their living room and 3 out of 6 ended up having C-sections and the others epidurals,forceps..
The only thing it did do was give us some amazing friends.

Gooseysgirl · 29/08/2012 22:10

I made great friends through ante natal yoga and free local mum and baby groups. We were booked on an NCT course until we found out it was going to cost over £300!! It would be good to have a cheaper alternative...

Gooseysgirl · 29/08/2012 22:11

And I totally agree with you Minimum97

mistlethrush · 29/08/2012 22:15

I did the NCT classes - and I was very glad that I was booked on when the NHS ones disappeared without trace and nothing else was available.

I was (pre NCT) going to have a water birth etc etc. I'm SO glad that I went to the classes because when things started to go off the plan, we had been taken through all the different possibilities and, as a result, I felt able to make informed decisions. About the only thing that actually went 'right' about the whole birth process was bf - and the session we had had on that was really helpful - and DH was also able to check latch etc which was particularly helpful given the lack of any other bf assistance.

I went to an NCT coffee morning - we met at different people's houses every week and there was a charge of something like £2 per quarter at the time - I wasn't an NCT member.

If you don't want to do the courses, you don't have to - and if the classes in your area are good, perhaps you don't need to. If you don't want to join, you might find that the coffee mornings are still accessible.

BettyandDon · 29/08/2012 22:27

I definitely think there is a market for this. I've signed up for refresher course with NCT to try to make some new mummy friends. It's costing £178 which tbh I can't afford but I felt like there was no real alternative. I'm expecting to find it a bit tricky to do as many groups as I did with DD1 as I'll have 2 (baby yoga and all that sort of stuff). A lot of the classes I do with DD2 are full of nannies and CMs which I don't object to at all it's just that they are not that interested in making mummy friends.

I feel like I don't need the NCT birth info though. I'm currently in consultant led care with placenta issues and breech so my chance of a normal birth is pretty small ATM. I couldn't BF DD1 either so I rekon I'll take that info with a pinch of salt. Supposedly I've got flat nipples so it's a bit horse and water cart.

I'm based in TW9 if anyone similar around. The group OP suggests sounds good in principle.

The only thing to factor in is that new mums are probably the most flaky and unreliable bods around. It's due to poor sleep and is forgivable but it is hard to be sociable with a newborn if you're bloody knackered and have not showered for 3 days Grin! I tended to find in any meet up at least 40% of the group would cancel or no show. Including one girl who literally would cancel if her baby farted when she was about to leave...

Londonmrss · 30/08/2012 13:49

Hiya, I completely agree- it's too much money to spend on networking. I figured I'll try and meet other mums after baby is born by doing mum and baby yoga and things like that. It's too bloody difficult while I'm still working full time anyway.
That said, I'd be up for getting involved in anything you're up to SassyMaceroon. I'm due end of October and live in London E14 (Docklands) but am sure I can stretch my local area to Hackney if no one would mind...

Dad1976 · 30/08/2012 18:26

If you're in the teddington, kingston, twickenham region we just signed up for teddingtonmidwives.co.uk far less than NCT.

Thechick · 31/08/2012 18:18

How did you all find out about the nct coffee mornings without going to the classes??

EldonAve · 31/08/2012 18:22

our nct branch has welcome evenings/coffee mornings for new members who are due at the same time - no need to fork out for the course - just the membership fee

mistlethrush · 31/08/2012 18:24

You can go on your local NCT page and it should list what's available and who to contact