A potentially strange birth request...

[aprilshowers2015]

I am 31 weeks with DC1. DH and I chose not to find out the sex at the anomaly scan, well, I chose and DH agreed.
DH would really like to find out the sex when baby is born and tell me, but (we're watching a lot of OBEM) it seems that the midwife usually makes the announcement.
Now the whole way along, we've made it clear that the baby is the priority, ie at the anomaly scan we said we would prefer not to know but for the sonographer to do what they needed to do and if anything popped up then so be it. The same with the labour, the baby being born healthy is all we really care about.
My question is, has anyone requested the midwife not announce the sex at the birth and how was it received? I don't want to come across as someone with unreasonable requests but my DH really wants it to happen this way. Any thoughts on how I can approach this without sounding like a princess or should I just leave it? Thanks!

[FrederickSinclair]

Both times I've known the sex before birth but both times the midwives haven't mentioned it at all and waited for me to check. The first time I actually asked the midwife 'is it a boy?' and even then she said 'have a look for yourself!' - the room was full of medical staff, I was unaware that he'd even been born so everyone would have known before me but noone said anything. Second time I completely forgot to check, about half an hour had passed of me holding him in the water and then the midwife said 'did you check to see if it's what you thought it was?'
They will be very respectful of your wishes I would imagine.

[scubaprincess]

Not weird at all. With both of mine the midwife asked at the beginning did the dad want to announce and that's what happened. Hilarious as when DD1 came he was so gobsmacked and shocked that they held the baby aloft for ages saying 'so what have you got'. In the end I had to announce it!

[violetfern]

The midwife who delivered our DD just handed her to me through my legs and said ‘have a look what you’ve got!’, it was amazing to be able to look myself and tell my husband! Each midwife who looked after us during labour asked if we knew what we were having, and so they knew we had no idea.

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

Both mine were emergency sections. With dc1 we already knew but with dc2, no one said a word. They just dropped the drape, let her come out really slowly and we could see for ourselves.

I don't see why they'd have an issue with it.

[AdriannaP]

Midwife didn’t tell me. Put baby on my chest and I looked and announced. I didn’t request it and tbh at this point jt was the last thing I cared. I was just so glad the baby was out!

[aprilshowers2015]

Loving all of these stories, thanks so much!
Let's hope DH gets it right 🤣🤣

[queenrollo]

I hadn't even thought of this and when the baby was born the midwife said to my husband 'would you like to look and tell her what you have?' I think it was a really lovely gesture.

[IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere]

One of the few things I remember about the birth of our first child was my husband saying "Welcome to the world X". It was such a lovely moment that we decided we wanted to replicate it when the next one came along and the midwives were fine about it every time.

The last time I knew we were having a girl although DH didn't want to know but it was still special that the first thing said to her was a welcome from her dad!

I put it in my birth plan and we mentioned it when I went into labour as well.

[yukka]

Pretty sure as a rule they don't do this anymore. For us 7 months ago they were wiping baby over my chest and were like 'come on dad what's the sex' dh was so overwhelmed he couldn't tell what he was looking at with the umbilical chord etc.

She was a girl, I had to tell him...😂

[PawPatrolMakesMeDrink]

We did this! But I had a section. I essentially told every member of staff in theatre that my sons dad was to tell me the sex of the baby, when he was born the surgeon gave the nod, he looked over the drapes and then told me, was fab and no one minded in the slightest. Well they might have done but they certainly didn’t let on.

[JustForTheTasteOfIt]

Super common request and I think it's sweet!

[lowlandLucky]

My children were all born 30+ years ago and i always told the midwife that my Husband would tell me wether they were girls or boys.

[iusedtobecool]

I requested this as well. It was a very special moment that I look back on fondly.

[SparkyBlue]

I've had three sections and they never announced the sex of the baby they always held them up so I could see for myself. It's actually always been DH who's made the announcement as I've always been a bit zoned out. Absolutely not an unusual request at all I would imagine. In my own experience they love it when it's a surprise and you don't already know if it's a boy or girl. Best of luck with it OP.

[discusstin]

After two boys when my husband told me we had a girl I didn’t believe it. He had the pleasure of telling me three times!

[HoneyBee03]

We had it in our birth notes and the midwife quickly showed my husband the baby's bits as she passed him to me and my husband cried "it's a boy!!" He was in tears and it was a very special moment.

[Bluetrews25]

I put this exact thing in my birth plan both times, as back then all the labours I had witnessed (through work, not a MW) the MW always announced 'it's a boy/girl'.
I wrote that I wanted to see for myself.
Got my wish first time, second time MW passed me the baby and said 'here he is!' Felt let down that she had told me for 0.5 seconds, but got over it! I told DH what we had, but he could probably see anyway!

[ShenanigansWake]

Congratulations on your pregnancy
I know this is off-point and I'm sure I don't really need to post this but... just picking up on you saying that your baby being born healthy is all you really care about. I just wanted to say - don't forget how important it is for you, as the birthing mother, to be ok too. Your needs, your health and well-being, your happiness matters too! Sorry if I'm stating the obvious, I've just heard a lot of mums-to-be say this (myself included) and it's not at all unusual for women to put their own needs to the bottom of the list. Wishing you all the very best for the rest of your pregnancy, the birth and beyond xx

[aprilshowers2015]

Thank you for your lovely message @shenanigansWake and I completely understand what you're saying. Think I'm succumbing to Mum guilt already but it's good to have a reminder that my needs count too. I really appreciate it.

To everyone else that has shared their story, thank you so much! I'm so pleased you all got the moment you'd hoped for. I'll pop back in a few weeks and let you know what happened.

I'm an older first time mum and majority of my friends had children a good few years ago so it's great to have this forum to air my random questions 😊

[Ullupullu]

I didn't request this, but the midwife actually offered to my DH while baby was still attached: "would you like to tell us the sex of the baby"

[jackstini]

Yes we did this both times and it was lovely

Although DH's ways of announcing were probably different to a mw:

'Everything's going to be pink Jack'

'Look at the size of those - definitely a boy!'

[badg3r]

I requested this with both my
Babies and also that she cut the cord. Nobody batted an eyelid! It was lovely when he told me.

[moobar]

I had a planned section. They do not let anyone cut cord in our hospital now, but do get them to announce what baby is.

Midwife handed baby to dh and said would you like to tell wife what baby is. Dh said she doesn't want to knowbless him, the emotion was a bit much!

[CeeceeBloomingdale]

I asked the midwives to tell me both times and neither time did they announce it and left it for us to discover ourselves.

[hiimmumma]

This was one of the first things they asked us when I got to the hospital in labour. Hadn't even occurred to me but I said yes please I want my husband to tell me.

Well, when the baby was born (long and assisted labour) basically he forgot!! But the midwifes didn't tell me either because I had said not to.
So I was laying in the bed and my husband and baby were at the other side of the room and I was just asking "what is it what is it?!" And no one would tell me.

Realistically was probably only a couple of mins but felt like a long time before the midwife reminded my husband of this important job, he ran over and said hurriedly "it's a boy" then ran back to our Son getting his checks.

Anyway, we laughed about it. He had one job!
Pregnant again now and this time we found out at the scan.