A potentially strange birth request...

[aprilshowers2015]

I am 31 weeks with DC1. DH and I chose not to find out the sex at the anomaly scan, well, I chose and DH agreed.
DH would really like to find out the sex when baby is born and tell me, but (we're watching a lot of OBEM) it seems that the midwife usually makes the announcement.
Now the whole way along, we've made it clear that the baby is the priority, ie at the anomaly scan we said we would prefer not to know but for the sonographer to do what they needed to do and if anything popped up then so be it. The same with the labour, the baby being born healthy is all we really care about.
My question is, has anyone requested the midwife not announce the sex at the birth and how was it received? I don't want to come across as someone with unreasonable requests but my DH really wants it to happen this way. Any thoughts on how I can approach this without sounding like a princess or should I just leave it? Thanks!

[Wheresthebiffer2]

Congratulations AprilShowers.

[Cheesewine]

I had my baby last week. That was my only request . We just said to the midwives that's what we wanted and it was no problem at all. Good luck .

[OnNaturesCourse]

We did that with our first.

I had no birth plan...i just asked the midwife when we got to the delivery room. I said I didn't mind anyone finding out before me, like midwifes, doctors, etc but I wanted my partner to look and tell me what baby was.

It worked... Right up until the point where the doctor said "would Dad like to tell Mum what baby is.." (which I though was a nice way of doing it) and my partner was in that much of a shock he looked and went ehrm, errr, ehrm... 😂 Eventually I looked down and my partner said the sex just as I did. It was imperfect but perfect to us.

[suriv]

How lovely!

I just picked up on this thread, we asked the same thing and after about 5 minutes the midwife said 'do you not want to know what it is?'

In the moment we were so overwhelmed we didn't think about it!

[MichelleOR84]

Congratulations 🥰

[aprilshowers2015]

Thanks all for you replies, I loved reading them all.
Our little girl arrived last Tuesday morning. After induction, 2 hours of hardcore pushing, forceps and episiotomy I really just wanted baby out safely but the midwife looking after us made sure my husband was the first to see and able to announce it. A perfect end to our birth story 💕

[Loubylou9162]

My midwife asked me while I was in labour how I’d like to find out the sex. She said she could tell us, she could hold baby up so we can both see or Dh could look and tell me.
I had an emergency section so she quickly held her up so I could see she was a girl it was lovely

[autumnboys]

I think it was in all our birth plans. With ds2, he was delivered by emcs and as they were
Bringing him to show us, the surgeon said ‘it’s doing a wee!’ And I turned to DH and said ‘it’s a boy!’ as baby came around the screen and finished his pee on DH. I assumed if they could see it amid all the general birth gunk, it must be a boy, but I admired them sticking to our request.

[MichelleOR84]

We waited to find out and in my birth plan we asked to see the reveal ourselves .

During labour we talked about it with our midwife . As soon as baby was born , he was held up to us and my husband announced it was a boy to me . It was such a happy and emotional moment .

I’m pregnant again and am definitely doing it the same way . Although this time , if I can , I would like to announce the sex to my husband !!!

[Boopbedooop]

This is exactly what I did with my first! Although my partner was so overwhelmed he forgot to check and had to be reminded!

[Stripeyshirts2450]

Of course! We did it. Also fyi OBEM is drama made for tv. Please don't take it all seriously (it causes midwives lots of grief!)

[hiimmumma]

This was one of the first things they asked us when I got to the hospital in labour. Hadn't even occurred to me but I said yes please I want my husband to tell me.

Well, when the baby was born (long and assisted labour) basically he forgot!! But the midwifes didn't tell me either because I had said not to.
So I was laying in the bed and my husband and baby were at the other side of the room and I was just asking "what is it what is it?!" And no one would tell me.

Realistically was probably only a couple of mins but felt like a long time before the midwife reminded my husband of this important job, he ran over and said hurriedly "it's a boy" then ran back to our Son getting his checks.

Anyway, we laughed about it. He had one job!
Pregnant again now and this time we found out at the scan.

[CeeceeBloomingdale]

I asked the midwives to tell me both times and neither time did they announce it and left it for us to discover ourselves.

[moobar]

I had a planned section. They do not let anyone cut cord in our hospital now, but do get them to announce what baby is.

Midwife handed baby to dh and said would you like to tell wife what baby is. Dh said she doesn't want to knowbless him, the emotion was a bit much!

[badg3r]

I requested this with both my
Babies and also that she cut the cord. Nobody batted an eyelid! It was lovely when he told me.

[jackstini]

Yes we did this both times and it was lovely

Although DH's ways of announcing were probably different to a mw:

'Everything's going to be pink Jack'

'Look at the size of those - definitely a boy!'

[Ullupullu]

I didn't request this, but the midwife actually offered to my DH while baby was still attached: "would you like to tell us the sex of the baby"

[aprilshowers2015]

Thank you for your lovely message @shenanigansWake and I completely understand what you're saying. Think I'm succumbing to Mum guilt already but it's good to have a reminder that my needs count too. I really appreciate it.

To everyone else that has shared their story, thank you so much! I'm so pleased you all got the moment you'd hoped for. I'll pop back in a few weeks and let you know what happened.

I'm an older first time mum and majority of my friends had children a good few years ago so it's great to have this forum to air my random questions 😊

[ShenanigansWake]

Congratulations on your pregnancy
I know this is off-point and I'm sure I don't really need to post this but... just picking up on you saying that your baby being born healthy is all you really care about. I just wanted to say - don't forget how important it is for you, as the birthing mother, to be ok too. Your needs, your health and well-being, your happiness matters too! Sorry if I'm stating the obvious, I've just heard a lot of mums-to-be say this (myself included) and it's not at all unusual for women to put their own needs to the bottom of the list. Wishing you all the very best for the rest of your pregnancy, the birth and beyond xx

[Bluetrews25]

I put this exact thing in my birth plan both times, as back then all the labours I had witnessed (through work, not a MW) the MW always announced 'it's a boy/girl'.
I wrote that I wanted to see for myself.
Got my wish first time, second time MW passed me the baby and said 'here he is!' Felt let down that she had told me for 0.5 seconds, but got over it! I told DH what we had, but he could probably see anyway!

[HoneyBee03]

We had it in our birth notes and the midwife quickly showed my husband the baby's bits as she passed him to me and my husband cried "it's a boy!!" He was in tears and it was a very special moment.

[discusstin]

After two boys when my husband told me we had a girl I didn’t believe it. He had the pleasure of telling me three times!

[SparkyBlue]

I've had three sections and they never announced the sex of the baby they always held them up so I could see for myself. It's actually always been DH who's made the announcement as I've always been a bit zoned out. Absolutely not an unusual request at all I would imagine. In my own experience they love it when it's a surprise and you don't already know if it's a boy or girl. Best of luck with it OP.

[iusedtobecool]

I requested this as well. It was a very special moment that I look back on fondly.

[lowlandLucky]

My children were all born 30+ years ago and i always told the midwife that my Husband would tell me wether they were girls or boys.