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Original poster

Surviving Twins

86 replies

RTKangaMummy · 22/02/2005 22:46

Perhaps we should chat here

.

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psychomum5 · 23/02/2005 00:06

Thankyou....massive thankyou.... for the help in naming Charlie. I will go to bed tonight feeling as tho a piece of me is put into place. And maybe Max can be told tomorrow too, so his peices are too

Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 23/02/2005 00:10
Smile
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Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 23/02/2005 14:21

How do you feel today psychomum5?

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psychomum5 · 23/02/2005 20:15

feeling much much better, and mainly thanks to you I think. This is the first time I have aver spoken about this in depth, and it has helped enormously

I feel much more content within my self too, actually naming max's twin.

hugs, xxxx

hoping you are well too....xxxxx

Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 23/02/2005 20:44

I have had a very up and down day here today

But I agree it did feel really good to talk to someone who knew what I was talking about

No friends in RL has been though it either.

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psychomum5 · 24/02/2005 21:27

Hope you are feeling better today, and more settled. I have been thinking about you a lot, wondering how you are. I know memories and feeling have been stirred for me, and am thinking that will have been much more so for you. For that I am sending you many hugs.

Still haven't spoken to Max about his twin, but I feel he will precipitate the conversation when he is ready.

Have had a busy day today, been my DD2 9th birthday and we all been celebrating. DH b/day tomorrow too, and then parties at the weekend....busy busy.

xxxxxx

Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 24/02/2005 21:44

psychomum5 Happy 9th to your DD and HB to DH too

Thanks for hugs

I keep thinking about Bubble and Elijah and Bo

We were so much on Auto pilot in the months afterwards

DT2 was in neo natal for 3 months

The nurses and Doctors were great

we went to conselling once or twice but didn't like the fact that you had 1 hour to talk about DT1 then stop.

The nurses just let us talk all the time

Also they knew all about DT1 and some had cared for him.

I spent all day there with DT2 and we didn't leave until the night shift came on.

I lived in the hospital for weeks after they were born then I had to go home and that was so hard as it was between 30 mins - 1 hour drive away.

They did want to transfer DT2 to local hospital but when we went to visit we were asked if HE WAS OUR ONLY CHILD

Although the 1st hospital had told them all about DT1 when they had organized the visit.

So I refused to let him be transferred.

So he stayed at london hospital til he came home

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elliemae · 21/03/2005 13:47

hi everyone,

I gave birth to twins at 24weeks! twin one survived(although touch & go til now) and twin two died after 2 days ,feel i havent had time to grieve even after 2 years .So greatful my dd is still her but she has many problems,they were nearly identical and noone seams to understand that i still hurt .They seem to think that because she was only here for 2 days it doesn`t count

Of course you are reminded everyday of what should have been ,do you think the surviving twin knows or senses the other twin?I keep a picture of both of them together in her nursery, should i maybe take it down?

Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 21/03/2005 14:07

elliemae

and cyberhugs{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}

IMHO I deffo think you should keep the photo up

If you want to

As I have said we have photos of DT1 and DT2 as they were born up.

I deffo also think that losing a twin is unique and others find it hard to understand

I wish DT2 could meet others like him so that he could talk to them about his feelings.

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Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 21/03/2005 14:09

Your DT2 is a member of your family and a part of DT1

Do you talk about her to your DT1?

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bubble99 · 21/03/2005 20:42

Bo's cremation today. When I saw his little coffin with Elijah's birthdate on it
Our hearts are broken. Even the undertaker was crying and they must be so immune normally.
The only thing that is keeping me going is DH and my other DS's and the fact that the enquiry is coming up. Mr Bubble and I have talked. If we need to have IVF to give Elijah the sibling he was so needlessly robbed of we will pay for it. We want nothing from anyone except answers. If the doctors and midwives involved can admit that they f**d up then, as long as they receive further training where required, we will leave it at that. If we get a whitewash we will go public to the national media.

pixiefish · 21/03/2005 20:44

bubble

MunchedTooManyMarsLady · 21/03/2005 20:44

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} bubble.

motherinferior · 21/03/2005 20:45

Bubble,
I've just looked in on this thread. So it was today. I am so sorry.
xxxxxx

Hulababy · 21/03/2005 20:48

Bubble; Thinking of you.

JanH · 21/03/2005 20:49

Ohhhhhhh, bubble

I don't know how you can be so reasonable after all that's happened. Your boys (all 4) have wonderful parents. XXXX

WideWebWitch · 21/03/2005 20:53

Thinking of you bubble x

soapbox · 21/03/2005 21:01

What a sad sad day for you and your family Bubble

You are all in my thoughts, as is Bo!

elliemae · 21/03/2005 21:03

So sorry bubble .

GRMUM · 21/03/2005 21:06

Bubble and family

Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 21/03/2005 21:25

Bubble and family cyberhugs{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}

The little white coffins are just so tiny aren't they

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Arabica · 21/03/2005 23:58

love to you and family, Bubble.

gingerbear · 22/03/2005 00:03

Oh Bubble.
Thinking of you.

elliemae · 23/03/2005 12:11

hi,

thanks for the advice ,i will keep the picture up ,and tell my dd as soon as she can understand.We have a little plack in the garden which has some lettering about dd on it!Some little fairys and things also,she has just started walking and with spring here i`m sure she will be investigating it!!

Its nice to have a memorial in the garden as we dont get much chance to get to the grave as its out of town.

Maybe BUBBLE it might be nice for you to have something simaler .Thinking of you by the way [hug]

Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 23/03/2005 12:14

That sounds lovely elliemae

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