I need ideas for how to support my mum......

[spudmasher]

I feel awful putting this in the bereavement section (poor guy not dead yet) but I think that is what I am dealing with here.
My dad is terribly ill and has been for a long while. He has been in and out of hospital/hospice care and is at home at the moment. We naver thought he would last this long and thought a few weeks ago that we had reached the end of his battle with cancer. However, dad is very stubborn and obviously not ready to go.
He is plunging new depths of awfulness as parts of his body start to pack in. Mum has been amazing though all of this. She had fully prepared herself to say goodbye when he was last really ill and now finds herself in the position where she is looking after him at home and she never thought she would be.
She loves him so much and just wants everything to be back to normal and nothing I can say or do is helping at the moment.
How can I support her? She has the district nurse, the Mac nurse and a great support network. Nothing can lift her at the moment.

Update and more advice needed!!!!
My brave, stubborn dad is still hanging on in there.
We managed to get him into the hospice where he became terribly unhappy and despite the fact that he is more poorly than ever and they have made him more comfortable, the decision has been made to send him back home tomorrow - he wants to die at home and we must respect his wishes.
I am going down to help mum but I am terrified about what lays ahead.
Far from being a source of support for my mum I feel squeamish, scared and pathetic.

I am back and I did OK! Mum did most of the dirty work- dad was not comfortable with me changing his pads and stuff so I just sat and talked - even though he was asleep most of the time. I made tea. I cooked for mum. I went and got stuff she needed from the shops and generally just hung around for a bit.We had a cry, we had a giggle, we watched lots of tennis.
He is so horribly poorly now we are hoping he drifts off quietly. Mum has support from Mac and Marie Curie till Wednesday and I will go back then.
Feeling very pleased with myself and pathetic for being such a wuss and sad all at once.Very pleased we are able to have him at home.

You sound relieved, so glad that it was not as bad as you feared. Sounds like you were able to be a big support to your mum and it meant a lot for them both that you were there. Sending you best wishes x

Hi Spudmasher
Hope you're OK and bearing up. It sounds like you're doing the most wonderful thing for your Mum and Dad - being there for them both. Trust me, you're going to look back and be so thankful that you spent precious time with him.

Your Mum will be enormously grateful too. As hard as it is, try to keep going and stay strong.

I don't want to be morbid, but make sure (for your sake) you say everything you need to say to your dad. I so, so wish I'd had the opportunity to tell my dad how much I loved him before he died. I'm going to regret that for the rest of my life.

I'm thinking of you and sending lots of love. x