What to do with DH’s clothes?

[Pleasedontdothat]

It’s nearly two years since DH died suddenly and completely unexpectedly. The deathmin has been complicated but probate has finally been applied for. I desperately don’t want to leave my kids with the mess I was left - it wasn’t his fault, there was no reason to think he was about to die - so I am trying to declutter so there’s less for them to do when I die too. DH loved clothes and had several made to measure suits etc - however he was very tall and slim so not a standard size. They’re no use to our boys (one’s too short and muscly and the other is even taller and thinner) but I don’t want everything to deteriorate, shut up in cupboards and getting musty/moth-eaten. What have you done with a loved one’s clothes?

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. My husband died completely unexpectedly too (brain haemorraghe) he was 47. That was 9 years ago and I've still got all his clothes. This thread has given me the impetus to do something worthwhile with them. Sending love.

I am in a similar position - suddenly widowed a couple of years back and having to rethink a life.

Its not about the clothes, its still about the loss. The loss of the person, the loss of the future plans for a retirement together, the absence at two of our DC weddings and all the future events. For me clothes were easier to deal with - like you I found a charity which supplied “work clothes” and the rest when to another charity shop. I went through a phase of clearing out everything which was mundane.
However I am still working through a great deal of other “stuff” more personal to him - his instruments, his art materials and partially completed work etc.

Its hard, you have my sympathy. I found that I can dispose of the more personal stuff more easily if I can find someone who actually wants it. I don’t care about money, I just want them to be used and enjoyed as he appreciated them. Then I can let them go more easily.

@C8H10N4O2 My mother had a similar issue when my father died, stringed instruments, think mandolins,guitars etc, they were passed to a family friend who played and could pass them forward... the accordion went to the local folk festival and was gratefully received! If he played, he will have friends who play and may well know of young people who need a musical leg up, otherwise call the music dep't at the local secondary and ask if they have a student who could make use of them... then his legacy goes on.

This is a lovely idea. Especially as he sounds a non standard size and it’s probably even harder for people who are struggling who are also a similar shape and size to find stuff.

DH’s ‘thing’ was cycling - I donated his bikes (many!) to the charity running the velodrome which had been a huge part of his life along with cycling jerseys etc. They were either sold with the proceeds going to the site upkeep or matched with a young (tall) cyclist who couldn’t afford to buy a high end bike. There’s a cyclists’ adage “when I die I hope my wife doesn’t sell my bikes for what I told her they were worth’ - I never asked him how much he’d spent in them and I didn’t want to know when he’d gone - I just wanted them to be used and appreciated.

If his clothes are quite distinctive it might be worth donating to a charity shop sufficiently far away to reduce the risk of seeing someone wearing them.

I just wanted to give my condolences, and to say what a lovely idea this was. My dad donated a lot of suits / clothes that he no longer wore to a men's shelter. One of the men passed on a message that he was given one of the suits, had an interview and managed to get a great job, which helped him to get back on his feet. He said he felt so good in it, and he was so grateful.

I'm currently clearing my dad's things, I've kept photos and some ornaments that I like but his clothes in struggling with especially shirts he wore. I'm thinking of getting them made into a cushion or something to keep as it still has his smell on it. When he was ill I brought him some crocs as they were easy to put on and his feet were swollen and he wore them for his last 5 months. He also liked mine so we both lived in them, during hospital stays etc. I can't bare to throw them out as they actually remind me of the journey we went on together 😔