My children’s father died at home alone

[Indespair666]

Hi

My children’s father was found dead at home, they couldn’t get hold of him for a few days which was not normal. I called to get a welfare check as his phone would ring and go to voicemail, he had an old phone and the battery would have run out so I knew it must have been on charge.

The police first went to the wrong house as they said a woman answered and said no one with his name lived there (he lived alone).

I rang two more times before we heard that they broke in because they heard his tv on (police lady said if they hadn’t heard the TV they would not have entered.

Basically, they found him dead on the settee so it looks like he died on the Friday night as my middle daughter talked to him on Google Meets Friday evening and after that no more contact from him.

So he is waiting for a post mortem he has been there a week now, we live 5 hours away but are here at the moment and due to go back home today. Post mortem is 90% chance of being done today.

What will happen about registering the death when the post mortem has been done if I am not in the area?

He died without a will he was 53. He told my daughters last year when we visited that the house was theirs and he had put it in their names, he bought it outright. Is this something that can be done I didn’t think it could but that is what he said and kept saying it was their house.

I will be ringing the solicitors today to ask.

My daughters are his NOK only one is 18, one is 18 in July and the other is nearly 15.

When should I contact a funeral director as we want his body bought down to where we live so he is never on his own again and my girls want to be able to visit his grave.

I will need a Solicitor to deal with probate should that be one here where he lived or where we live?

I will be paying for his funeral until probate is done.

Thanks in advance for any replies. I know there are a lot of questions.

I don't have any answers for you. I'm sorry for your family's loss, for your loss though he was your ex. I found this very touching, 'we want his body bought down to where we live so he is never on his own again'. 💐

This may help. Looks like you can register the death at any registry office. Sorry for your loss

www.bereavementadvice.org/topics/registering-a-death-and-informing-others/when-and-where-to-register-a-death/

My dad died suddenly and alone too, so you and your daughters have my sympathy.
You really don’t need to get a solicitor to handle the probate. If your daughters are his only known relatives then all of his estate will be split equally between them.

I’ve just had a quick Google sand there seems to be some good advice on the Citizens Advice website. Put in ‘what to do after a death’

I was going to say exactly this. Sorry to hear OP.

💐sorry for your loss
You should be able to register his death local to you, same with solicitor and funeral director. All the best

If he had no other children, and has no will, then his children with you - regardless of their ages - will inherit everything equally.

Yes he could have put it in your daughters names. Difficult without a will or executor, who will be sorting his affairs out, at least there is a solicitor, so they can advise. Maybe you and your eldest may have to go up there and go through his possessions so you can inform the bank etc. Not sure about transferring the body, but don't let the undertakers push you into decisions you don't feel comfortable with. Sorry for your loss.

You will need to appoint a funeral director and inform the coroner who this is so they know who to release his body to once they've done the post mortem. A PM can take a couple of weeks if lab results etc. Are required. Sometimes it's quicker, they will keep you informed.

You will need to register his death in the local authority that it happened and you will need certain information to do so, a list of what info you need can be found online. Being able to gain access to his house to get things like phone/address book/any important docs etc. will also be needed so that you can start to inform people and companies that need to know. Most places will have a specialist bereavement department who will be able to guide you through everything. Bank accounts etc. Can be frozen until a death certificate is received. The only funds allowed to leave any bank accounts once frozen is money to pay for funeral costs, so if he has money in accounts, you can ask the funeral directors to invoice the bank directly. They will help you through this process though.

I'm sorry that you and your daughters are having to deal with this 💐

So sorry for your loss, this must be devastating for your girls. I'm assuming at least one of them has A levels in the next few months? Such a lot to deal with.

In terms of the ownership of the house, you should be able to search the Land Registry to find out, it looks as if you can request the title register for £3.

This may have changed I’ve been out of banking for a very long time but we used to need probate to release any funds but could release reasonable expenses to cover funeral bills.

Hello OP. How sad. Your compassion is very lovely.

This may help.

www.gov.uk/when-someone-dies

I'm so sorry for you and your children's loss.

The Land Registry can tell you the details of property ownership and mortgages, which will give you a quick understanding of the situation with his house. (There's a £3 fee)
https://www.gov.uk/search-property-information-land-registry
Everything will be inherited by your daughters in equal shares anyway.

If you're good with forms and have a clear head (or have a friend or family member who is and can help you) then you won't necessarily need a solicitor to settle probate, lots of people DIY.

That is very sad. Your daughters are very very lucky to have you deal with this in such a compassionate way.

So sorry you are dealing with this. Must be very hard with grieving DC.

On one specific point- registering the death; this is unlikely to be possible before you return home, but don't worry, that doesn't have to be done where he died, an appointment can be made locally to where you live. Whoever's issuing the death certificate will need to send it to the registry office you are going to attend.

Contact a funeral director straight away, locally to where you live, and make an appointment to see them as soon as possible- apart from anything else, they will be a great help in navigating the forms, tell you who to ring, etc.

It may not be necessary to use a solicitor to get probate, depending on it being a simple estate , valued at under £325,000 total value. If this is the case, the online way to apply for probate is quite straightforward. Just depends if you're prepared to do it yourself, but will save you money. Bigger estate, involving IHT, I personally would hand to a professional.
Doesn't matter where a solicitor is based, so I'd get one handy to you, if needed.

You can check online who is on the title deeds of the house. But that is something for another day.

Make a note to contact his insurance company, tell them of his death, and that the house is now unoccupied, this needs to be done in a couple of weeks.
If you can, turn the power and water off in his house. But don't worry if you can't do this immediately.

Ring a funeral director, and ask them how to navigate registering the death.

I'm sorry you're in this sad situation.

There is so much to think about, take things one day at a time, look after yourselves. Do come back here for more info at any point.

Remember to let the school know, especially if the nearly 18 has exams this year. The exams officer will apply for extenuating circumstances - it doesn’t add much I think it is 5% (as nothing they can do can really compensate for such a loss) - but it is worth putting in place.

The school can also contact the universities she has applied to (again if this applies) and explain the circumstances in advance, which can help with them accepting lower grades.

Such a shock for you and your daughters and will take a lot to process fully. I am sorry for your loss.

Agree this brought a tear to my eye. What a lovely thought and tribute to his life.

I have no idea about the rest.

But agree getting legal advice is a good idea although I expect the undertakers will know the answer to some of the legal stuff.

I'm so sorry OP.

Briefly..

Coroner will give you papers to take the registry office.
Register the death and get at least 5 copies of the certificate.
Arrange the funeral
Look through his belongings for anything from a solicitor.. a will preferably but if you find anything from a house purchase check with that solicitor to see if they have a will.

You'll need probate to do anything about bills, banks, etc. use a solicitor if it's easier.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you so much for all the messages I wasn’t expecting so many and am very touched.

We have been in his house and got all paperwork I have notified utilities, have turned off gas and electric in the house and water are sending someone to turn water off outside. Cancelled tv licence and notified council tax.

My eldest DD is at Uni, the middle is at College in the first year of a 2 year course and my youngest in Year 10 so will notify the school when she goes back on Tuesday.

With probate he owed on credit cards that he stopped paying around 4 years ago I found letters from one of them, one came through the door the other day when we were there. Also his Mum owes him a very large sum of money that she was meant to pay in 2009 but only paid under half so am hoping a solicitor will be able to help with that he has an agreement signed and witnessed from 2009 it was what he was owed from when his Dad died so his inheritance from his father, she has refused to give it to him, it’s a long complicated story but she kept fobbing him off with trying to raising the money, equity release always something over the last 14 years to not have to pay him, she owes other siblings their money too. It’s £27k she owes that is money he wanted to do his house up for his girls but never could, our relationship broke down partly over his mother and the way I felt he put her before his daughters, she does not speak to 3 of her other children over decisions she made not to give their inheritance and they took her to court to get theirs but ex and 3 other siblings stuck by her thinking they would get their money yet are still waiting.

His sister has been told by her she doesn’t need the money as she has a council flat and a Part-time job 😱

When I get back I will contact a funeral
director on Monday.

He only has his house he owns outright and two pensions that I have details for and the money owed by his Mum would he still be entitled to that as now he is dead I feel his mum might think she doesn’t owe him now.

My youngest daughter has mental health issues after being badly bullied at previous school and trying to commit suicide in 2022.

Thanks again for all the replies.

My MIL was able to do this last year for a funeral of a family member.

There may be provision in his pension for under 18s to get some support. As a civil servant l have that but all pensions may not. Same for you if not divorced just separated.Worth checking.
I'm sorry for you all. Its obvious you have no bitterness towards your dcs father which is very healthy for your children. His mum sounds like a weapon and it's unfortunate she contributed towards your breakup.
Also just thinking of your dd who talked to him on the day. She may be hit even harder and feel guilty so watch for that..along with all the other things you have on your plate.

Yes the money owed to him by his mother is still owed to his estate (ie your DDs). Your oldest DD, and your middle DD when she turns 18, might decide that they personally doesn't want to sue their grandmother, but I think it's the executor's duty to get the money back for the estate, and is certainly required for the benefit of your youngest child.

I'm gathering from your tone that you'd be on board with taking action against her and I don't blame you. It doesn't have to be complicated. https://www.gov.uk/make-court-claim-for-money

Were you ever married? I fear if not you may have no legal responsibility or right to handle his estate unless your eldest dd officially designates it, or you were named as executor. Was he in contact with his mum and sister? Are they local to you or his property?

There's no will so I assume that means there's no named executor. I think that means an administrator has to be appointed, which is what OP (I would guess officially her oldest DD) is planning to do?

Thanks!

Yes DD 1 is prepared to deal with things. We were not married and I know his three daughters are his next of kin and DD1 is an adult and able to deal with things.

It's a sad situation. You don't need to pay for the funeral as there is hopefully enough money in the estate for that. Get the funeral director to bill the estate. It's worth appointing a solicitor ASAP to give you an idea of what money the estate has. The bill for the funeral will be paid via the solicitor. There wasn't enough saving in my FIL savings to pay for the funeral straight away, but there was once the house was sold.