Girl has died and I feel so affected

[NameOfYourSexTape]

Girl was taken into hospital with flu like symptoms last week and said to have sepsis, was put into induced coma and sadly deteriorated and passed away yesterday. I only know the family through my dd dancing at the same dance school and she's 2 years abve dd at same school.

I have anxiety diagnosed and since being on meds it's improved but after hearing this I feel like I'm spiralling. I feel so ridiculous, it's nothing to do with me but I can't stop thinking about her. About how fragile life is. I want to protect my own kids at all costs, I'm just so sad and also it reinforces how fragile life is. I'm not sure why I'm even posting, I feel like a fraud.

That poor family. Two siblings too, just before Christmas.

I found out that an acquaintance of mine from school lost a child to meningitis before I met the family. I never even met the child and this frequently makes me sad. Human nature I think. Putting yourself into that possibility.

@NameOfYourSexTape yes same school then and my DD is in the same year as yours. She said it was so unbelievably sad at school today. It sounds like school put a lot of support in place for the pupils. Hope you're ok, it's just so tragic

Unexpected death of a child, is the hardest thing to cope with, of course you will feel anxious, a close friend lost her child in tragic circumstances, I think of him every day. Seeing my friends life totally destroyed, has been the hardest thing I have ever witnessed.

Absolutely heartbreaking and of course you aren’t being unreasonable or strange to feel so sad about it. I could cry for this little girl, it’s tragic and anyone who thinks your reaction is strange obviously has no empathy whatsoever

I know how you feel, my friends son was hit by a car and died ... 7 years ago tomorrow. I question why it happened all the time and it plays on my mind but it's a lot worse around the anniversary.

goingslightlycrazy1 small world! It's so very sad x

I know how you feel also. Eighteen months ago my teenage son and his friends were walking home from a party and one crossed the road and was hit by a speeding driver. He died a few hours later. It affected me badly even though I did not know the lad that died, for a long time I felt extreme sad for his poor parents. I guess I was also extremely worried for my ds who witnessed it and had to go through a court case as a witness. For many months I cried every time I passed the spot where it happened and tried to take a different route. I think some people just feel things very deeply and if you are prone to anxiety or depression then it can exacerbate these feelings.

Her funeral is on Christmas Eve, just so sad

OP I understand where you are coming from. A friend recently had her baby far far too early. The baby lived a few hours, against the odds. Hearing that the baby had been born upset me very much. Being invited to the funeral, and attending, I can't put it into words. I also feel like a fraud. Like I shouldn't be as upset about it as I am.

A bit of time has passed though (not much) and I feel better about it. And I realise how lucky I am to have my 2 DC.

When ds was in Y1 at primary school there was a little girl in his class who was severely disabled, she had a carer & was tube fed. One thursday night out of the blue I got a text message from school that school would be closed the next day. I told ds & he told me that the little girl had been poorly at school during the day, he said that he had been talking to her & he thought she had fallen asleep, next thing she was whisked away in her wheelchair, he said she had snowflakes on her face. It turned out that she had passed away in front of my son. He still remembers her every year, she passes away at the beginning of December, we all attended a church service the monday after which turned out to be the first day of the awful snow of 2010. When ds year left primary school she was remembered at the leavers assembly, many of his class were in tears when her name was mentioned. Ds had to have psychotherapy for anxiety & depression & I was told that he spent two sessions speaking about the loss of his friend.

I think it's normal how you feel. Some people are able to see things matter of factly and others feel things more deeply.
A mum at my DC's school passed away recently. It knocked me sideways even though I didn't know her well at all. I couldn't believe she'd been fine one minute and gone the next and felt so horribly sad for her family and children.
It's shock and empathy, just a part of being human.

I hope the girls parents aren't on here. I think this thread is in really poor taste. You didn't even know her yet you start a thread on the internet about how devastated you are?

It’s perfectly normal to feel the way you do OP. My daughter died in October and for what it’s worth it actually meant a great deal to me to hear that complete strangers were keeping us in their thoughts.

@Alittlepotofrosie I agree - it's not even so much the OP but the semi-identifying comments about school name initials, area and disclosing funeral date by @Goingslightlycrazy1 is horrid

Very much woe is me and jumping on the grief of another family because you have a tedious link to the poor girl 🙄

With that said I do think that it's "normal" to be affected by a tragic death and it can impact on your mental health in the short term but do be vigilant if it continues and you feel yourself becoming compulsive or unable to suppress the thoughts of worry about your own children.

This could be a trigger for your anxiety.

@Alittlepotofrosie
Well said.
I lost my dd in tragic and upsetting circumstances 4yrs ago. The people who think they are upset don't have a clue how it feels.
At the time the comments on a public FB page were so upsetting.

OP, there is probably never going to be a time when the untimely death of a child, especially a local one, wont upset you. It is normal to be upset because its awful. It doesnt necessarily mean a trip to the GP is urgent if you have other strategies for stress x

When I was 9, a school friend of mine was playing with her younger brother in a wheel barrow and fell and hit her head, she went to bed with a headache and didn't wake up. I am 54 now but still think about her and her family. It was announced in assembly at school, some of us who were closer to her where taken out of classes to be told before the announcement. I understand your concern for your DD as these things stay with you. Is your DD aware of what has happened?

I think @misspiggy19 s reaction is abnormal. Most parents can relate to other parents experiences. We empathise and it also makes us feel sad. I still reflect upon children at my child's schools that died. Like the child that died at the school open day. Was thinking of him only a couple of days ago.

A funeral on Christmas Eve how very sad. My heart breaks just thinking about it.

OP, I know I'm 10 days late, but I just wanted to say I completely understand. A girl I knew, but wasn't really friends with - a friend of a friend really - died when we were 15 and it has always been a source of anxiety to me. Just knowing she died from a terminal illness before she even finished school left me terrified for years that it would happen to me. And even now, that though still plays on my mind. Plus the survivor's guilt of living in a world she'll never see.

I have no advice, but what you're feeling is natural and will get better with time. Seeing a child die shakes your whole world view and leaves you feeling unstable and shaken. Just keep giving your children the best life you can. That's what's important.

I mean you're entitled to feel how you feel, but to start a thread with loads of identifying details about how devastated you are when you didn't even know her? I don't think that is a normal reaction actually. I think that's well over the top. It might be different if she was your childs best friend.

Telling people how they should feel is unpardonable arrogance. We feel what we feel.