Long story short three people in my life very close to me have ended their lives in the last two years, am devastated. My physical and mental health has rapidly declined as well.
I've been told I'm "not well enough" for cruse or mental health team.
I don't understand why no one can get how devastating this is? I've no one left now. They ended their lives. I understand why (pain/depression/dementia) but can't stop thinking about how they're gone. And how others who knew them or I mention them to say to me it's what they wanted so I should be glad they're not hurting anymore. Two were last of my family (those left are abusive), the third my godmother and we were very very close.
Services are stopping supporting me because my mental health has got so much worse since this happened. I don't know how they expect me to just keep going as I did before. I can't.
I don't know what I want from this post I just need it out. Am exhausted but I close my eyes and see them. It's just too much for me.