Upsetting treatment by bank after a bereavement.

[fabulousathome]

Today I went with my husband who is also an executor to close/freeze my Mum's bank account. It's a high street bank.

We had already booked an appointment as, when we just turned up the day before, they said no one was able to see us.

When we arrived (five mins early) we explained why we were there. Ten minutes after the appointment time we were called into a small room.

As I handed over the death certificate and began to explain why we were there, the worker's first words were "I don't think I will be able to do what you want today. My colleague shouldn't have booked you in to this slot. It's too short and I have another appointment in 20 mins".

No words of condolence or polite questions, cup of tea nothing.

Anyway, I wasn't in a particularly good mood by then so I said, "I do hope you can complete this today because we were kept waiting past the appointment time".

All was going reasonably well and we ran over her 20 mins without complaint, but towards the end she said "I notice that you are Select customers" (we also have an account with this bank) so I can arrange for you to have your finances reviewed by one of our advisers here, shall I make an appointment for you?

I said that we weren't interested. "But when did you last have your finances reviewed?" She pressed and asked quite forecefully a couple of times more. I said, fairly loudly "It's not what we want at this time" (my Mum died just 13 days ago) but she found it very hard to take no for an answer.

Just before we left my husband said that she had not given her condolences, been late and then badgered us inappropriately.

I should also tell you that my husband was in banking for 20 years.

I have half a mind to withdraw my money from this particular bank but that would make things awkward for me so I won't.

While we were there we did speak to their Head Office Bereavement Team on the phone with her present. The first thing that they said was "Sorry for your loss".

I felt pretty upset for the rest of the day. I thought organisations like this one had got this kind of thing right now? Obviously not.

My dh died 7 weeks ago. It was a sudden death so no planning or preparation. I asked the bank (Santander) if I could have an overdraft facility for 3 months while I sorted my finances out and to pay my Santander mortgage, funeral expenses etc.

My request was declined.

Because of the timings, I did not actually need the overdraft in the end but I didn't know that at the time I asked. So when I really thought I needed help Santander said no. I have now received a significant life assurance payment and will be opening a new bank account this weekend.

(Not that this is probably relevant to the decision but I have a good job, a significant amount of equity in my house and should not have been considered a poor risk by any measure).

So sorry for you both, fabulous and pericat.

My mum died last year and although most services were really helpful and kind, the one that stands out as being terrible and insensitive is Giffgaff. As a phone company, I think their product is great and I and all my family use their Sim only deal, but when mum died, dad tried to cancel her £5 a month payment only to be told it wasn't possible without the sim card number.

Both dad and I discovered that the company is an absolute nightmare to get hold of unless you have a query on their FAQ list. There is no number to ring them on to speak to a real person. In the end dad mailed them and I wrote to them when I eventually managed to track down a postal address to explain that dad had destroyed the SIM card and enclosing a copy of the death certificate. They replied again saying they couldn't cancel the payment without the sim card number. 😲😲

Dad cancelled the payment at the bank but Giffgaff requested it again the following month. Eventually, the credit card company had to reclaim the money. Totally unacceptable behaviour at a time when we were all incredibly upset. How can something so simple be so hard?

Oh I haven't tackled giffgaff yet! Am keeping the number going for a while.

When my husband died the nationwide and British Gas were great but Virgin phone were brilliant - nnpower not so good.

I was dealing with probate for a friend whos husband had committed suicide leaving very young twin girls. He had a business loan with the bank and I sent a letter of authorization asking them to contact myself over the outstanding loan etc stating that she was not physically or mentally capable at the present of dealing with such matters. Despite this they phoned her up and was threatening her with dire consequences etc if payments were not made on time etc So cold callous unfeeling money grabbing swindlers - that's how I now see banks and those that work for them.

So sorry fabulousathome

So sorry fabulousathome
I was told to see a solicitor regarding his savings account. Sat in her office just about holding it together. She came in and sat down, sighed and said shy cant people write will. I replied he was 13 years old and he did not mean to die, sorry.
She did have the decency to look uncomfortable and waived the fee!

2 sorrys sorry x

Amex referred ds1's account to debt collectors. We cant even access his account as it is in his sole name and he was 27 when he died.
They can get a ccj sgainst him. He wont care. I refuse to engage with them.

I am a probate lawyer, and I hear stories like this on a daily basis. My own personal favourite was the twenty minutes I spent trying to explain to a bank that I could not get the account holder to the phone, as they were dead. It just wasn't going in.

My advice would be, always speak to a bereavement team at head office if you can. Branches are too hit and miss.

Honestly, it's like banging my head on a wall sometimes.

We have had a really bad run of family bereavements. My siblings and I have however been fortunate enough to inherit cash from everyone who has died.

However every time the cheques have been issued at least one of us (there are three of us) has had to deal with some insensitive quip from the cashier..."Oooh, that's a nice cheque to have"

"Erm, not really it represents my share of my much loved grandmother's house."

My brother felt so strongly about it he moved his account from the Bank of Scotland.

Fortunately we just left the solicitor to close all he accounts so didn't have to deal with the fuckwittery when trying to do that.