Has anybody's child had bereavement counselling?

[MamaG]

My Dad died in August 2003, 3 weeks after DD's 3rd birthday.

She is now 7 1/2 and still can't talk about him or look at a photo without crying.

At school yesterday, they were told to think about their saddest day (?) and she ended up sitting on the TA's knee, sobbing into her shoulder

Its not like she cries every day, but I'm worried that she still can't talk about him or look at a photo without crying.

Do you think this is something she will come to terms with as time goes on, or should I look into counselling? I try to talk about him, happy memories etc and I make sure I don't dissolve into tears when I do, as I don't her to bottle her feelings up.

I think not talking about it is the WORST thing you can do.

Lucie, can you really and truly not face talking face to face? Sorry if I sound like I'm bullying you, but I really think it could help you.

I'm fine - it's a lot easier thinking about him than it used to be - the fear of dying hasn't changed but I find that now I have kids, I don't think of my cousin as often as they take up more of my time. I feel horribly guilty not thinking about him as often but his own family have moved on so I think I should too. Only my nan puts flowers on his grave anymore.
Oh well - I have talked to my DD (5) about him actually and I didn't cry then so perhaps it will get better in time.
Thank you for being so nice - but it's your DD that we should be discussing. I was just giving you an adult's perspective after not having counselling and wanted you to see that death through the eyes of child is very hard to understand and cope with for years afterwards.

thanks for the adult perspective lucie

I have just taken my dd to an osteopath (here in france they do a lot of energetic work, no bone crunching!!). I had to take her a few months ago when after our cat died and she had problems with her friends, she did not sleep for weeks, I thought she was going to have a breakdown. It really helped her. My mil died last sunday and luckily for me the osteo had by chance changed her appt from last friday to wednesday. Dd seems much calmer after the visit. Ds1 has an emergency appt this afternoon. Maybe you could get some sort of reiki, healing work, cranial osteo work performed, something that might help heal her soul in addition to talking about it. Good luck.

Mountaingirl - I have just started having thai massage. I have found them very helpful in somehow dispensing physical energy during a period in which I feel totally incapable of doing sport. I think grief is such a draining emotion and it is very difficult to find an outlet. I am glad the osteo is working. There is so much available in France.

It all depends on how the individual reacts or interacts with the counsellor. It may or may not help. Think you have to be open minded.

Like martianbishop my DH is also dying and DD is just 3. (Knows he is poorly but nothing else. Do not know what I will do but think GP will be first stop.

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