Friend's (adult) son committed suicide, need to share it but be warned, am in shock.

[Elibean]

..she rang me today, and is obviously totally shocked and distraught. It happened on Monday, and his body was being flown home today (whats left of it, he jumped from a 20th floor).
I think I needed to share it somewhere safe, because I'm now also shocked and upset - though I did'nt know him at all - and wondering how best to support her. And maybe also how to do so without overloading myself - I tend to do that, and I need to be a bit careful, with a 3 month old and a 3 yr old to look after and not much sleep.
She's not a close friend, but we've a few things in common and I was there for her when she was involved in the July 7th train attacks (which she has just started receiving counselling for, thankfully). Which I can only guess is why she should call me to tell me her news, which is a bit odd in itself (we see each other maybe once a year,in a group of other women, and don't chat on the phone etc).
If anyone has any thoughts to share on supporting a woman with three young children, bereaved of her eldest son (he was 30, if that makes any difference) through suicide, I'd really appreciate them - I said I'd call her again at the beginning of next week, as she's away tomorrow and I had my three year old in floods of tears and my baby sqawking to feed while she was on the phone.
I'm so shocked and for her.

I have a friend whose son commited suicide aged 17, 6 years ago.

She joined an organisation here very similar to Compassionate Friends and is now instrumental in running the local branch.

Having lost a child, I would second the advice already given, that is how very helpful and supportive it is to talk to others who have gone through the same thing.

I would also - and this is not a good thing to say, but very much how I felt in the early days, and still do to a much lesser degree - make sure that your children remain discreet and in the background. Having lost my own, I supported other peoples children very badly. Not right, not fair, but how I felt.

Please excuse split infinitives!

Suicide is terrible and the guilt must be mind-numbing, however misplaced. I feel for her.

Did you get my message ggg?