Sibling suicide

[UnmanWitteringAndZigo]

Just wanted a chat about timeframes. It's 2.5 months since my sister died. I know everyone's different, but I'm so at sea at the moment and want to know when things might improve.

I'm barely getting by at work, and am currently hidden in a spare office because all of a sudden the crying won't stop. Can't take any more time off.
I'm trying to stay as normal as possible for the kids, but feeling so guilty that I'm not functioning like before, and that I feel incapable of appreciating all the many things I have to feel grateful for.

Should I be functioning better than this by now? TIA

"It has made me realise that there is only so much you can do to keep people safe and from harming themselves."

I think the above is really important to take on board. There are infinite questions and we have to learn that many of those questions will never find their answers. Guilt is only natural, it haunts me far less then in the early years.

Re Dreams, I was terrified that I would dream of DM in some awful way and it took about 3 years until I had any dream of her at all. She occasionally pops up in them in disguise.

Really feel for you. My sister killed herself in 2001 and I think I'm only just coming to terms with it. My parents never have and never will, understandably. We all function normally, but there's something so taboo, almost, about suicide we rarely speak of her. The happy memories will come back and you'll be able to rationalise your grief, but it takes a long time and there are no right answers. It'll shape who you are.

Thank you so much, it is so lovely to hear of other suicide grief survivors. It's such a strange grief that I think it can be quite a lovely one, as given the cause of death, people often don't know what to say.

The support on here is lovely and so kind.

You should all be every proud of how far you've come and give me incredible hope.

Firsttimeandclueless I found it really helped me to seek out others who had been affected by suicide, I agree with you, it is a select kind of grief. There's a website called Survivors of Suicide which had lots of personal accounts of people whose loved ones had died from suicide. It gave me some kind of reassurance that the intensity of it all would pass and it did.