I'm lacking the 'right thing' to say right now but I'll be keeping you and your mum in my thoughts.
This thread somehow disappeared on my 'watching list' but it's good to see you're still around. If I'm up tonight/early morning I'll check in on your other thread.
As for the remaining parent/partner thing, I have to say my father still isn't coping all that well years on but I'd put that down more to his personality than anything else. His social circle has always been more work colleagues than actual friends and even if he had them when it comes to emotions he's a stick your head in the sand type so I doubt they'd be all that helpful.
His grieving process was very different to mine, same with my brother, and we all just had to sort of respect that and work around it. My dad really makes a big point about certain days (anniversary of her death, birthday, anniversaries, etc.) where with the exception of my own birthday as mentioned above those days don't harbour special meaning for me at all. I've noticed for my dad they're really important because he holds it all in year round but is 'allowed' not to on those days. Being physically around for him on those days (he still clams up at the mere mention of my mother's name unfortunately) is soothing to him so I make sure I'm just there.
It was a bit touch and go in the beginning, I had to really pay attention to how much he was drinking where that had never been a concern before. He hid it well and only ever drank in excess on days where he wasn't expected to work the next day. It seems contained now but it was worrying then nonetheless. I think the black hole he fell into after was bigger for him, the reality of my mum dying really didn't resonate with him until she physically died, he was really unwilling to accept that it was going to happen until it happened.
These days he'll jump at the opportunity to attend any funeral, even if the relation is very distant. I think he just wants to connect to people feeling the same thing without having to actually talk about it, I can't make up my mind whether it's healthy behaviour or not. It worries me that he still feels it so intensely as if it just happened but at the same time he's processing in his way. He is doing better these days (and general life, work, etc. never really suffered, one really had to know him well to detect anything was wrong) but I think the grief is something he'll always cling onto. I'm half convinced if he ever finds another partner again she'll be a widow or a cancer survivor but I sincerely hope it would be someone without that baggage and for them to connect over something else.
Apologies for the verbosity once more, I'm crap about being succinct about these things as it never feels all that black and white.