A question for those who have experienced a close bereavement. How much compassionate leave were you allowed from your employer?

[bluehydrangeas]

I understand that from the employer's perspective, life has to go on at some point and they need to know when you are planning on returning to work. Do you think a month's leave is too much to ask for?

In my previous - NHS - organisation the entitlement was 2 days, which seems far too little. And you only had time off to attend funerals for immediate family as in parent, sibling or child. I had to take annual leave for an Auntie's funeral.

When my father died, (I was in the private sector at this point) I was given a week of paid bereavement leave, took a week of annual leave, and had a week of time owing so also took that. I think a week is about right from an employer's point of view, along with flexibility to take time back, annual leave or unpaid leave.

I'd say that a month of paid leave would be more than most employers would offer.

If the post is about your situation, very best wishes and for you

Mine was NHS - close relative would be spouse, parent or child. For a best friend, in law, cousin, aunts, uncles, grandparent etc you would be expected to take holiday. But that holiday would be granted and no-one would be unable to attend a funeral.

Even for a very elderly parent there would be an view that it was expected so not much time off on compassionate leave.

No way did anyone get a month, ever.

However they were very supportive with sick leave for close relatives. No-one would bat an eyelid if you were off for 3 months.

However for people not on the list everyone would expect you to be back at work with just a day off for the funeral - TBH so would I.

i got two weeks when my dad died.
i just spoke to my boss and said ' i can't leave my mum' and she told me not to worry about it

she then came to the house with flowers for me

very kind indeed

I think it depends on the employer. Dh and i are self employed and i'd like to think i'd be able to give my employees whatever time they needed.

When DH's dad died he did a job the following day (it couldn't be done by anyone else), then took the best part of 6 weeks off. Without our employees covering his work this wouldn't have been possible so i'd certainly repay the favour.

When DM died (extremely unexpectedly; I found her when I went around for a prearranged visit), DSis' work gave her three weeks, and then suggested she got a dr's note. She's younger than me and had only moved out of DM's about a month previously.

I was due to start a new job the next day and I pushed back the start date by three weeks, which they were fine with.

When my brother died I got a week automatically as per our policy (I work in higher education). My boss offered me more time, but I wanted to come back. I'm not sure how much would have been acceptable, probably another week or two, but that would have been granted unofficially.

When DH died I was told they would pay me for 2 weeks so I thought I had to return then. Plus I knew I was now the sole earner. Looking back I could of done with more time off but I wasn't thinking straight

I get a week, but some more compassionate managers will say, "Come back when you feel ready". That's for parents, siblings and children. Grandparents and other relatives a generally less, unpaid leave.

8 days is the allowance in my organisation (public sector) but on the two occasions I've used it (death of parents) I've been told to take as much time I needed.

I'm very sorry for your loss

We give employees upto 5 days normally (if it was 2 weeks individual line managers may agree).

For a month, I would offer my team 2 weeks compassionate and then ask for a sick note to cover the next 2-3 weeks as only way to get around HR.

3 days for parent (sole executor of a will going through probate and inherited dependants too)

None for grandparent. None for uncle. None for friend.

Day of funeral for workmate who died at work, because we all went.