my mum lost my sister at the same gestation.
it was very painfull for my mum but thankfully the hospital were great...eventually.
the DR's were pants and after telling her that the baby had died they sent her home and told her to return the following day where she would be induced and forced to give birth.
my mum was absolutly devestated. she just wanted the baby out of her at that time, to get it over with.
the induction was very long and very difficult and im sure my mum would say its the worst day of her life.
but when the baby was out the suport staff helped her so much. they cleaned her up, got her dressed took photo's they even gave my mum a card with her hand and foot print on it.
We had a small funeral for her. it was difficult as some people couldnt understand why my mum wanted a funeral, why she didnt just allow the hospital staff to deal with the "remains"
but it meant that my mum always had somewhere to go to to think about her. she was part of the family, she already had a name, we had seen her pictures from the scan we were al looking forward to our new sister.
i think that the best advice i can give is to follow your freinds lead.
if she asks to be left alone then do so. but send a card and then maybe a text message in a couple of days.
try not to avoid the subject with her but don't bring the issue up either.
basicly you know your freind better than i do, if you think she could do with a hig then give her one.
and don't take any rantings she makes to heart, she is upset and if you say something now that upsets her she will forgive you. she knows you are only trying to help.
oh and ask how the dad is feeling! my dad has always said how left out he felt those few days after the birth. the hospital staff were concerned for my mum and just expected my dad to be supportive of mum, that his own feelings were insignificant. so do make him feel as if his feelings matter.
so so sorry for your freind