'What the caterpillar perceives is the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning.' Our journey after Beatrice

[cupofteaplease]

Beatrice died on 24th October aged 1 year, 1 month, 1 week and 1 day. She was buried on 2nd November. As she starts her new life as a butterfly, we are left on the ground feeling bewildered and bereft. I read a short piece at her funeral, and I stand by it:

'I often felt that being Beatrice's mum was much like holding a butterfly. I was in awe of her beauty and felt so privileged that she had chosen to come to me. But, much like a butterfly, I knew that one day she would spread her wings and fly away.

When Beatrice was one day old, a kind stranger shared this poem with me, and it sums up how I feel about Beatrice:

"A butterfly lights besides us like a sunbeam. And for a brief moment its glory and beauty belongs to the world.
But then it flies once again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it."

I feel so lucky to have been chosen as Beatrice's mum and I truly believe that the immense grief we must now suffer is still a small price to play for the love she brought into our lives.

Goodnight Beatrice'

I still feel her love in my heart, but I am struggling without her in my arms. I miss caring for her and kissing her. Looking at her and stroking her hair. Singing to her, always singing so many songs. I haven't sung a song since she died, but I don't want the music to leave my life as it means I have let the grief win.

Fly high little butterfly, but please don't forget all of us left behind who hold you, still so fragile, in our hearts and memories. Please don't forget me, Beatrice x

[Lily311]

Omg cup, I am so very happy for you!!! Congratulations!

[saffronwblue]

Cup what big and beautiful news! There will be 4 children in the teaset.

[janey68]

'No one is ever lost'
So true, and what a beautiful way to put it.
A new life is happy news... Understandably it will feel tinged with sadness in a way but I wish you peace and strength during the weeks ahead

[ohmeohmyforgotlogin]

How lovely for you all. Very best wishes.

[PurpleAlert]

I have watched your threads and followed Bea's story ever since you first posted about her.

I am so happy for you, your DH and all the little teacups!

Congratulations!

[Jbck]

Oh Cup what lovely news, I wish you every happiness and all the Cup family.

[ajandjjmum]

Happy for you and your family - and remembering Beatrice.

[Iluffschocolate]

Wonderful, wonderful news. Congratulations to you all x

[pannetone]

So pleased to hear that Beatrice is going to be a big sister. Wishing many blessings for the whole Teaset; your lovely biggest girls with their big hearts and hopes, and for you and DH who must be experiencing such a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm sure Beatrice approves - she has already taught so many of us that 'a life full of love is a life worth living.' xx

[cupofteaplease]

The girls gave me a Mother's Day card and added Beatrice's name. That made me smile. I took some colourful gerberas to her grave and there was a little ladybird sat on the bench. I always think that Beatrice is nearby when I see a ladybird. So I sat down for a while and just thought about how different life would be now if she were still here. I can't even imagine it anymore.

[fhdl34]

How thoughtful of them, it shows they still think of her often as well x

[Lovethesea]

Congratulations on the pregnancy, praying for a peaceful arrival and settling in for you all.

Can't imagine the mixed emotions it must be bringing up, and will bring up. Hope you and DH and the rest of the teaset get plenty of support in RL as you adjust to being a family of four xx

[MrsKwazii]

Thinking of you all and hope that you are well. We've had so many butterflies in the garden this week and they always make me think of your words at the start of this thread, Bea and all of our children who have gone.

[FanjolinaJolie]

That is such great news, congratulations to you all.

[WetAugust]

Congratulations Cup. Great news.

[DazR]

Just popped by to see how the teacup family were and am really pleased to hear your news. Will be keeping you all in my prayers x

[MrsHende]

Delighted for you cup, keep well xx

[Antiopa12]

Wonderful news! Many Congratulations
( from zebra finch)

[Northernlurker]

I hadn't seen your news either. That's wonderful. Hope you are doing ok.

[TheGashlycrumbTinies]

Great news Cup, I do think of you, Beatrice, and your family, congratulations to your all. :)

[pannetone]

Thinking of you Cup and remembering Beatrice - there was a beautiful butterfly the other day that kept fluttering right past the window as though it was trying to make sure that we spotted it...

[Thumbwitch]

Congratulations on your pregnancy, Cup! I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you going through it but I pray and hope that this baby will have better health than little Beatrice did, although I'm sure that he/she will be just as beautiful.

Lots of love xxx

[Itsfab]

Oh my, what wonderful news. I am in tears for you. Incredible.

I often think of you and all your girls.

Beatrice is a MN baby and always will be.

Lovely news.

[IonaMumsnet]

Wonderful news, Cup. Congratulations!

[Lilithmoon]

Lovely news.