My friends son has lack of eye contact and his speech therapist says he does not make choices........

[mum2twins]

My friend has asked me to post this (she has just had new baby so long typing out of the window) and is looking for some reassurance or advice on some problems with her 2.8yr old DS.

Her DS was identified as having glue ear at approx 2yrs, he was not speaking and clearly could not hear at all. Following the op 8 months ago he has started to say a few single words or two word phrases. He was given some speech therapy which was play based, but his speech therapist commented that he did not make choices. We have been offering choices but still he seems unable to grasp the concept. He very rarely gives eye contact and when you speak to him he only repeats what you say. He does not seem to do any independent speech or link any words together. My friend has taken to focusing his face on her face when she talks but he is quick to look away. He babbles away as if he is trying to talk. Obviously this is frustrating for my friend especially as she now has ds2 who is only a few weeks old. Has anyone got experience of this and the choice / eye contact thing.

ds1 would glance rather than point- and would check my attention first as well. I do hope he gets to see a dev paed.

mum2twins, you are being a good friend to her. You've got some info and "checked him out" yourself, you're aware enough now to spot big problems and you can support her through the next stage as it seems she is going to pursue this. She asked you to post didn't she? So she knows that you are trying to get info and she is aware that her DS may need help. Its a very hard position to be in, being worried about a friend's child and not knowing how to tackle it, this comes up on MN from time to time.

this is useful as it shows what "failing" the different bits means.

If it helps any, our DD is being monitored for gdd, but ALL her skills have been delayed. For example, she could not sit on her own till she was over 8 months old, didn't crawl till 11 months, didn't walk till 22 months. Her other language and cognitive skills are also delayed.

She has been administered CHAT and passed, although not until she was about 2 rather than at 18 months, so they're currently monitoring her to see what, if any, cause there is to her delays.

It looks as if he is failing 3 of the 5 key items and is ropy on the other 2. He doesn't need a repeat test in a month as he should have been able to do this at 18 months- ie over a year ago.

Do they teach SALTS about CHAT? (Genuine question- and if not why not! if he;'s under speech therapy they should be picking up on this not leaving you in the awkward position you are in). It's very frustrating that there is a good screening tool out there that isn't being used. Is there any way you could introduce the mum to the CHAT and suggest doing it together? And then suggest that she takes the results of that to the GP and asks for a referral to a pead. It's very difficult isn't it

so it is being used in some cases expat- thank goodness for that! and it sounds as if its being interpreted sensibly in your case!

Yes, it was used on DD at 18 months, but b/c she was also delayed physically across the board - this was identified at her 8 month check when she was unable to sit up on her own, she was just re-assessed every other month.

STILL waiting for her chromosome analysis to come back. Been 3 months. But as of her paed appointment last week it still wasn't back. She was given CHAT again last week - she's 2 years and 1 month - and passed.

She used to point a bit when younger, but now she usually uses a word to tell you what she wants or takes you to the object she wants you to get for her. Or yes and no.

She does imaginary play. Not particularly cute when we found out the hard way that she had tried to feed her fav cuddly cat food and dunked him in their water bowl (the smell!).

I can understand peoples' frustration with trying to find out exactly what, if anything, is wrong.

Seems like it takes FOREVER.

Then there's the prospect of finding a public school in Edinburgh for DD should her delays continue.

Davros - when I trotted out the (admittedly 'old chesnut') about Einstein, I didn't mean that he was autistic! I have never heard that. I did read that he was a really late talker. Some people (like the guy that wrote that 'Late Talker' book, of which you may have heard) beleive that late talking, sin SOME cases, is connected with 'giftedness'.
Personally I think the whole giftedness thing is pretty irrelevant to kids, be they talkers, non-talkers, autistic or not. As long as they are as happy as they can be and well-cared for.
I only mentioned the Einstein thing cos when my ownndd was slow to talk, it did actually cheer me up quite a bit! (sounds stupid, but it did...I mean it helped me put all this milestone stuff into perspective).

What I mean Caththerese is that Einstein is now claimed by some quarters as having been autistic, so using him as an example of a gifted, but normal, late talker is quite the opposite (supposedly)!!! There's a whole raft of historical figures now claimed to have been autistic, I think Mozart too, but I don't kow how anyone is supposed to know. They have looked at EInstein's brain though, ugh!