overnight stop-overs with ex: too young?

[Caththerese1973]

Hi
my husband and I have been separated since March and at the moment he looks after our 27 month old dd two days a week, from nine until five. Right now my ex and I are quibbling because he wants to have her overnight, but since she is only two, I think she is too young. He is sure I am just being spiteful, but I'm honestly not! She is very difficult to put to bed right now, and very clingy, and I am almost 100% sure that she would not want to stop overnight at ANYONE'S house unless I was there.
What are other's opinions? Some of my friends have implied that I am being over protective of my daughter, and I am not sure what the norm is in these circumstances (being myself the child of married parents, albeit very unhappily married parents).

it's hard to give advice without knowing more.

Agree with herc. It's so pat and simplistic to say that the violence was toward her, not the child. Forcing a child to witness violence against its mother is an act of abuse towards that child and the sooner people understand that, the better off children will be.

Having said that, if he's been looking after her for 2 days a week, it sounds like you've come to some kind of modus vivendi with him and you don't fear him being violent toward her or you anymore. Is that the case?

I agree, we don't know enough about your situation caththerese. If your h is OK looking after dd all day twice a week, then presumably you feel he is capable of looking after her well. Agree with others, you need actual evidence of violence to support your case if you want to restrict access.

This is just not a clear cut situation. I don't think any of us here can say whether it's OK or not without actually knowing caththerese's h. If we were wrong, it could have bad consequences for her dd.

Social services told me I had to use my judgement. If I felt access was OK, then they were happy with that. They did say however that they might have to intervene if he returned to live at home with us.