new autism/AS thread

[Jimjams]

Here we go.

Meeting someone else will really help. As will reading lots- helps explain the behaviour- and therefore deal with it.

Is there an NAS Earlybird programme near you- they'd be worthwhile.

I think the running off does get better, but it can take a while. I'll have a scout around in some books and see if they have any strategies. I can think of using a social story if your DS has enough language, or maybe a "wait" card if he doesn't. I'l have a look though.

He had 2 cakes! One shaped like Thomas that he couldn't eat (gluten) but the children in nursery had, and one gluten free made by my mum.

He had a lovely day- party in nursery then we went to the farm. it was nice because it was the first time I felt that he really had some understanding of what was going on. He was trying to open his presents for the first time ever (never thought we'd see the day), and he's really into parties at the moment.

it was good. In the past I've found birthday's depressing- so it was good.

That's so lovely to hear jimjams. Wish him a happy birthday from me. I'm really glad you enjoyed it too, heaven knows you deserve it. Let's hope the improvements keep happening, I'm sure they will.

Thanks tamum

Jimjams, I feel I am intruding on this thread but I am so interested in children's development and in how you deal with your children's uniqueness that I really want to ask - why is your child diagnosed autistic? I mean, why that in particular. I too believed that autism was largely defined by lack of affection/empathy with others, yet you have said several times that he is a very affectionate child (like mine!). What does it take to diagnose autism and do you think it is a different condition to aspergers, not just in degree but in kind? A friend's child has been diagnosed with autism but he is very happy and sociable and kind, but there is definitely something wrong all the same. I'm sure you get a bit sick of being treated as a resource centre but I am genuinely interested in trying to understand this condition.

Glad both you and your son enjoyed his birthday, jimjams. There's something special about seeing your child open a present, I think.

re mothers feeling guilty - that's why mummy's special juice tastes so good at the end of many a long day

aloha - here is a checklist for the features of autism and other conditions. This explains how a diagnosis of autism is reached.

Criteria for Pervasive Developmental Disorders

Hope you don't mind me jumping in there jimjams. I am so pleased that birthdays are better for your ds now. It is nice as he will enjoy others birthdays too now.

Hi aloha

To be diagnosed with an ASD a person needs to show the "triad of impairments' that is an impairments in social interaction, communication and immagination. That's basically the diagnositic criteria. It is an impairment- and not an absence.

So for example ds1 has a BIG impairment in communication- his language is delayed and to make it matters worse he can't speak comprehenisibly. So obviously he will then have an impairment in social interaction as well. Although he has absolutely no less affection than any "normal" child (he has a lot more than many kids I see ) DS1's imaginative play is pretty much in line with his language (so he plays with little people/model teletubbies etc, but wouldn't pretend to be a monster as he doesn't have the language for that yet.

Aspergers is diagnosed if there is no delay in speech development. Some people say they should be clumsy as well.

TBH autistic people are all different- their behaviour and their problems (and gifts) depend upon how they are affected within the triad of impairments.

HTH- got to dash dinner is served!

maryz- don't worry ds1's dla goes towards therapy and on a cleaner (can't hoover when ds1 is around). I think using it for horse riding sounds a great idea!

ooh thanks eulalia- I was going to do a search form something like that!

Thank you both. That does explain a lot. I think it's always worth trying to find out as much as possible about conditions like this which seem to be becoming so common. I hope that the more Ilearn the more I will understand. Glad to hear you had a happy birthday Jimjams.

Eulalia, my son is 5. He's not autistic, but carries the card because he carries epi-pens and has food allergies. (I don't want anyone giving him food and if he's having a reaction I need them to get him to a hospital.) There are phone numbers and "allergic to milk and peanuts" notes written in all of his jackets, too. He knows where everything (cards, epi-pens, inhaler) is, though, so it's pretty easy. He just doesn't know our phone number or address yet-- but we've moved a lot. Sorry.. I'm sure that's not a lot of help to you.

Maryz, I can think of nothing better to spend your dla on. I hope you guys had a great time.

Jimjams, great news about your budding artist.

maryz when we saw the clinical psychologist she asked whether ds1 ever lined anything up. i said "no never" and she was really perturbed. 'are you sure?" shaking her head!

Mind you at the same time the SALT was most put out when I said he liked playing with little model people - making them go down slides and things. She said it wasn't possible- until I showed her him doing it (in the assessment playgroup) to which she said "harumph"

Interesting about your son being athletic. My friend's autistic daughter is incredibly gifted in that way- she is amazing. DS1 fits the clumsy mode- he can trip over thin air.

Inability to compromise - that's it! We've been trying to work out what the key problem is - for ages we thought ds1 just had a really bad temper/short fuse etc, but then realised there was more to it than that. He too is affectionate (thank God, it must be hard when they're not) and fine with gross motor stuff - at 5 can run for 2 or 3 miles with his Dad - but he is v clumsy with fine motor skills, his writing is appalling. And he's never lined things up, but he does rock and spin sometimes.
We've been talking to the parents in law this evening - how can we say hitting him wouldn't work if we haven't tried it? Not a great deal of moral support there!
But I spent the morning with our Educational Psychologist yesterday, and she was wonderful, answering lots of the questions I had stored up since getting ds1's Asperger diagnosis 2 weeks ago. We worry that he doesn't fulfill all the criteria, and the diagnosis might be wrong, but I suppose it's pointing us in the direction of more help and understanding, and nothing is cast in stone.
Does anyone have any tips for coping with sibling jealousy? Dd1 had a friend over today, and I spent the whole time trying to keep ds1 busy and out of the way, because he just won't leave his older sister alone, and will often physically attack her friends, especially if they are boys, for no apparent reason. But I feel I have to keep trying, for her sake. Ds1 and I made some bread today - that was good, until he got all upset when the dough stuck to his fingers! A texture thing, I suppose.

jmb - must be difficult when your son is at the outer edges of the spectrum. We have sibling rivalry too so not sure what to suggest. Does your ds think your dd is doing something more interesting and try to interfere? Will your ds sit in another room? I know its not easy as my ds tends to follow me around the house unless he is watching a video (which we do try to restrict).

My ds tries to boss dd around - she's only 13 months but is walking and getting into everything, climbing and so on and he's always pulling her or pushing her away. And other times he imitates everything she does which she will either find very annoying or funny according to mood. I am envious of other siblings when the older one seems to be so caring. ds only seems to be like this when dd is asleep and he tucks a blanket round her.

ds was doing really well the past couple of weeks but yesterday he wet himself in the house twice. I think he was tired and now his sleep patterns are all out of synch again due to having daytime naps.

Sometimes it feels like one step forward, two steps back...

Definfitely a texture thing jmb- ds1 has been following a desensitisaion programme at nursery- and will now paint happily. Still a bit funny about sticking though.

Oh dear IL's don't sound helpful- but we have had the same thing - "I think that's becuase someone said no to him for the first time". Best just to ignore it. Hard, but their problem. They may come round.

I think the diagnosis is moveable. For example I'm sure that if ds1's language comes on a bit he may be rediagnosed with a language disorder. Also having a diagnosis of AS will give you more support than something less concrete. The cinical psych told us she felt daft diagnosing a 3 year old with autism as they could change so much, but she said without the diagnosis he wouldn't get any help- even if she listed his problems.

Maryz and Jimjams - thanks for your thoughts - it's really good to hear from people who have come through the whole diagnosis nightmare and survived. I'm finding it hard to see through to next week at the moment, but I can see that life WILL go on. I am looking forward to ds1 having an easier time at school next year with extra help, and there are only five weeks of term left now.
Eulalia - do you think your ds1 has picked up some of your worry and anxieties of the last few weeks? Ours asked me this evening if he needed to go on a diet, he must have heard me talking to someone about it, but couldn't work out why, as he is so slim. He thought perhaps it would be to stop him getting too strong!