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Original poster

Leaving them in the bath while you go to another room..........

117 replies

swiperfox · 09/05/2005 11:19

Just bathed dd who is 3.5. Leaving the bathroom for anything fills me with fear - you always hear the stories about 'but i was only gone for a second' However ds was screaming (11 months) so i had to run out to give him his bottle and put him into his chair.
I made dd sing 'twinkle twinkle' as loud as she could until i came back lol that way i could always hear her and if she stopped i could run!

What age do you start leaving them for a second but know they'll generally be ok?

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emmatmg · 09/05/2005 12:26

blimey, does that make any sense at all?

basically I leave all 3 together, but never just ds2+3 for longer than a few seconds.

handlemecarefully · 09/05/2005 12:26

coldtea,

I hadn't realised that you had a 5 year old in the bath with him!

lima · 09/05/2005 12:28

blimey am I the only mum who doesn't leave hers because they fight and lob wet sponges at each other? - if I left the room, the bathroom would be underwater in seconds

flamesparrow · 09/05/2005 12:31

I used to leave her to sort out clothes in my room (bath is direct sight line from my room), but then she suddenly disappeared one day......

.... I went in to find her floating on her back grinning at me

I think she just likes making mummy's heart race!!!

She also started shoving her face in the water recently, which has put me off doing it anymore!

BarbaraX · 09/05/2005 12:36

I stay and play with my 2y dd for most of the time that she is in the bath. But i do sometimes leave just to go to the rooms right next to the bath, if needed. But I make sure that she is busy playing a safe game and I can hear her voice or splashing. I always check every minute or if she goes tooo quiet. I can just pop my head out. I did go downstair once as I could smell something burning on my cooker, but I run down and back up.

BarbaraX · 09/05/2005 12:37

sorry about my english

RTKangaMummy · 09/05/2005 12:41

Lima

We never left DS and it is the time when DS relaxes and will talk in depth about his day at school to DH.

When he was being bullied at school bathtime was the time when he would relax and talk about it.

DS tends to talk in depth to me on way home from school about any problems at school.

coldtea · 09/05/2005 12:43

My dh doesn't come till after 7pm & i start cooking dinner straight after bathtime at 7pm.

I can't cook with dd around(21 months)because she is quite a demanding child & cooking is impossible with her about! She is either screaming for attention or pulling open the oven door. The children's dinner is what we've had the night before re-heated(i would love to cook for 5pm & have dh re-heat his but this is too dangerous). So i look at bathtime as a chance to get straight. I don't get anytime alone with ds as dd will not allow it & by the time we've eaten it's often 8pm. With everything else out the way i get to give ds 45mins quality time.

It's not ideal but that's why i do it & with training for a 10mile run on top i don't want to spend the 1/2hour/evening i may have clearing up so that's why i sometimes do it when they are in the bath. I wouldn't leave dd alone in the bath, i leave her with ds.

milge · 09/05/2005 12:46

I leave my dt's in the bath together most nights and go into their bedroom opposite to sort out their nightwear. with 2 x 2.5yo's in the bath there is no space for one or other to go face down. PMSL at Find Nemo - hadn't thought of that. Would be reluctant to go downstairs and leave them, but have done so in the past.

elibelly · 09/05/2005 12:46

oh no I must be a bad mummy, dd who is 4 always stays and plays alone in the bath while I dry ds (19 months) and put him to bed. She is very sensible doesn't leap about or put her face under or anything. She's usually audible too as she tends to sing or make up fantasy stories with the bath toys so I can hear that she's ok. I never leave the room if ds is in the bath though either alone or with his sister

juniperdewdrop · 09/05/2005 12:48

Mine are 7 and 4.5 and I wouldn't go downstairs as I caught ds2 under the water recently. I don't think it's worth the risk for the amount of time they're in there. But I know people who leave toddlers alone? Everyone has their own way of doing things though.I think as a general rule if they go quiet then I see what's up?

Enid · 09/05/2005 12:53

ooh I do think 21 months is too little to leave alone in the bath even with 7 year old ds (and also a big responsibility for him if god forbid anything happened).

I do nip out to get a towel/nappy etc but wouldn't leave them unsupervised for more than a few minutes (dd1 is 5 and dd2 is 2) - both sensible but who knows. I use the time when they are in the bath to chat to them, and also take my make up off, take out lenses, tidy up the bathroom a bit etc.

Sponge · 09/05/2005 12:53

I leave dd (almost 5) in the bath and have done for quite a while. She plays happily with her toys and I check on her from time to time.
ds is only 9 months so we have to stay right by his side as he's very wriggly. We hardly ever put them in together ATM as ds is very splashy and dd doesn't like getting water in her face.

zebraX · 09/05/2005 12:54

I leave DS2 (10 months)alone, very briefly, the water is shallow, he's sitting (& standing well), we have non-slip bath matts. I leave him long enough to grab his clothes, the phone, a towel, a nappy, etc. He is not going to come to harm in the 10-15 seconds it takes to do those things.

Once DS1 was about 8 months old I used to put his baby bath in front of the open door to the bathroom, where I could always see him, & run around upstairs doing jobs. You think me reckless but the water was A) shallow, B) had a non-slip mat in it, and C) (most important), he spent most of his time climbing in and out of the baby bath. I wouldn't have done that with DD or DS2, though, DD was so quiet I never know what she's up to, and DS2 was very likely to topple over.

I used to leave DD & DS1 briefly like Coldtea describes, but keep close tabs listening to what they are doing, easy enough with DS1 (by then well over 3 and a constant chatterbox).

Don't worry much about leaving DD alone now (3.5yo).

Original poster
swiperfox · 09/05/2005 13:01

Sorry but absolutely pmsl at Find Nemo!!!! I don't reckon i'll leave dd and ds til they're about 10!! Like RTKM says - anything can happen in a split second and there is nothing that needs doing that is worth the risk.

Saying that so far i cant get ds anywhere near the bath, he absolutely screams the house down if i try to put him in!!

OP posts:
flamesparrow · 09/05/2005 13:02

Coldtea - I completely understand what you mean! The reason I do the jobs like putting clothes away in my room is that if I don't do it then, then there is no other time to do it.

DD will "help" me if I do it when she is awake... If I try to do it just after she is in bed then it disturbs her and she cries, and if I wait until she is completely gone (goes to bed at 7.30, and she is easily disturbed til about 9), then it is bloody late to be doing it, and I want to see DP.

She doesn't shut up when she is in the bath either .

I am lucky that my DP gets home at 5 so I can cook then. The only other way I get to cook before he is home is if I have Jaocb here (Psychomum's youngest) as they amuse eachother and don't want me!

handlemecarefully · 09/05/2005 13:58

Blimey - coldtea, don't feel like you need to justify yourself. Your 5 year old is in with your 21 month old dd - so it doesn't sound risky....

Gwenick · 09/05/2005 14:00

I have a stairgate across my kitchen door so no matter HOW whingy and awkward my 17 month old is being he can be 'safe' while I'm cooking the dinner.

RTKangaMummy · 09/05/2005 14:11

Safety in kitchen with stairgate

Brill

Same here, as I am childminder not for DS

coldtea · 09/05/2005 14:56

Hmc, i don't mind justifying myself as it isn't without thought i made this decision!

I agree with the stairgate, i used to have one across the kitchen too but couldn't bear to hear her crying on the other side so took it down & switched to cooking at 7pm.

tortoiseshell · 09/05/2005 15:02

I wouldn't leave dd (21 months) alone in the bath even for a second - she is still quite 'slippy' in the bath, and ds would find it highly amusing to knock her over. He is nearly 4, and I sometimes leave him for a few seconds while I find dd's pyjamas, but make him count loudly while I'm out the room - literally only for 5-10 seconds though.

vess · 10/05/2005 08:12

I started leaving ds in the bath for a little while (in a flat) when he was about 3 and a half, but one evening, after a long day, I found him falling asleep as he was sitting in the water! Scary!

Tommy · 10/05/2005 08:56

I leave DS1 (3y4m) in the bath for a moment or two while I put DS2 (21m)to bed. Would not leave DS2 in the bath yet at all. When my DS1 was about a year there was a local boy of the same age who drowned in the bath and it upset me so much that I am extra vigilant about it - probably paranoid

Thomcat · 10/05/2005 09:10

My DD is 3.5, still don't leave her on her own but if I have to run and grab a towel or something then I make her splash or sing while I make a dash! I wouldn't want to leave her for any longer and anyway bath times are fun and I like to be there with her laughing and being silly and playing games.

singersgirl · 10/05/2005 14:49

I leave mine (3.75 and 6.75) in the bath to get out pyjamas, hang out washing, finishing tidying the tea things. They make loads of noise and I check on them frequently. Have only started leaving them recently - DS2 is champion breath-holder underwater. However I do worry about them slipping, particularly DS2. I prefer to stay with them but sometimes there just doesn't seem to be time to get everything done.