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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

can she be that cunning at just 3 weeks old?

53 replies

mckenzie · 29/03/2005 20:31

3 week old DD has been crying on and off since going down at 7. The last time I went up to her she stopped crying the minute I stood by her moses basket. It was too dark in the room for me to see if her eyes were open or not. She did this to me yesterday as well.
Do you think it's a coincidence or is she already playing games with us?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tiffini · 29/03/2005 22:46

not you jimiams

crossed posts

handlemecarefully · 29/03/2005 22:47

I thought your comment was constructive as usual jimjams (that sounds pompous - not that I am guardian of all morality and sitting here as judge and jury!)

Anyway, back to the thread. How are you getting on mckenzie - is life generally going smoothly?

snafu · 29/03/2005 22:49

ROFL! You rumbled me, hmc - MN's resident soother-of-ruffled-threads, that's me...

Kidstrack2 · 29/03/2005 22:49

I agree Potty1 both my children were down stairs in moses baskets until we went to bed. Both my children as babies had thier last feed at around 11pm then we went to bed. As they grew older they then started settling by 7.30pm. I have never heard of a newborn settling at 7pm its a bit unrealistic but having said that all babies are different and we aren't given instruction books to take home from hospital with the baby. Its sounds as if the baby cries for comfort they love the sound of mummy's voice and heart beat. And also as I bottle fed my first and breast fed the second They had different evening waking times, the bottle fed one was very content and the other breastfeeding one was awake mostly from 6.30pm till 11.00pm just wanting to be cuddled. All babies are different, so Mckenzie give your baby a cuddle!

snafu · 29/03/2005 22:51

...or hypocrite

handlemecarefully · 29/03/2005 23:00

Nah, you're not a hypocrite....

mummylonglegs · 30/03/2005 15:11

How odd, all the complaints that some comments are 'too harsh' (I guess mine being one of them) are all giving roughly the same advice as the 'harsh' ones. It seems to me that useful advice has been given in a very non-judgmental way so I can't really understand any cause for offence though of course I'm very sorry if I have done so. It's always a shame that one's tone of voice doesn't communicate in one's written words.

JanH · 30/03/2005 15:13

I didn't think they were harsh either - a bit brisk and common-sensical, that's all.

mckenzie hasn't come back though...

cat82 · 30/03/2005 15:26

Umm, i left dd in her own room at night from day 1. I know that sounds very harsh but, honestly, i believe it helped her sleep better.
McKenzie, i agree she probably is calmed by your presence and can smell you. Just reassure her and when she's calm leave the room again.
I think when you have a newborn you can sometimes be convinced they're playing games with you because you feel a bit stressed, tired etc.
You're doing a great job {{hugs}}

mummylonglegs · 30/03/2005 15:35

I know, Jan, and in that case I am sorry if I was too 'matronly' in my commonsenseness.

MrsWood · 30/03/2005 16:05

mckenzie, try and cuddle her to sleep and then when she's asleep put her gently in her cot or wherever she sleeps, she should be fine - we did this with our daughter although she wasn't on her own in the room until we went upstairs as well. We just had her sleeping on an adult pillow downstairs with us on the sofa whilst we watched TV or whatever. I would imagine she was so calm with us downstairs cause she could smell us or sense our presence and felt safe that way. They get a little scared all alone in a big dark room, and no mummy or daddy nearby. I really think it's just the case of needing to be near you. Good luck

Bozza · 30/03/2005 16:08

So did I Cat. But then I'd been through nightmare DS who went to bed when we did after crying/feeding all evening and I was pretty determined not to repeat the experience. However if she wouldn't settle I would sit with her in the darkened bedroom (not v dark mind you, born in May with cream curtains) with the TV on low. Or send DH to do likewise.

Twiglett · 30/03/2005 16:40

If it helps, which it might or might not

Both of mine slept in the moses basket wherever we were until we went to bed .. we had lights, tv whatever we wanted on.

Only started to give them a bedtime as such when they were getting to big for the moses basket (around 3 months or so)

They have both been, touch wood, pretty good sleepers

Original poster

mckenzie · 30/03/2005 19:20

heck, I've only read a couple of these threads and I've got to reply asap and read the others in a minute as I'm worried now what you guys all think of me.
I certainly didn't leave her to cry for an hour and a half!! I meant over a period of an hour and a half she had been unsettled and crying. I'd been going into her every time she cried, cuddling her, winding her, soothing her etc. I'd not leave her to cry for longer than it takes me to get to her at this age.
I've obviously come over all wrong in my posting as I'm not a cold callous mother, I'm caring and concerned but also keen to try and establish why she was crying hence my question.

OP posts:

JanH · 30/03/2005 19:26

Oh, good - glad you are OK!

In that case I would guess that she was awake because she didn't want to go to sleep at that point (3 weeks being a bit early for a routine IME)

HTH!

Original poster

mckenzie · 30/03/2005 19:27

now I've read them all i'd also like to add that i am not offended by any nor upset by any and I certainly never intended to start a falling out between anyone.
I always appreciate replies to any thread, whether they are the reply that i want to hear or not.

And I really really appreciate your concerns.

This is my second child but I am finding it much harder than I remember the first time (although I think that is more nature being very clever as I know really that I had a hard time with No1 as well, I dont think I'm a natural at this, much as I love it I find it hard work).
But as long as I have Mumsnet to call on (and my dear mum!) I know I'll get through just about anything.

OP posts:

Original poster

mckenzie · 30/03/2005 19:30

I think JanH she was actually still hungry but I was hesitant about giving her more milk as she'd had a fair size feed at bedtime and I was worried about over loading her and her tiny stomach not being able to digest it. When we decided to try more feed she went off to sleep like a lamb. All part of the steep learning curve I guess. She smiled at me with her eyes this mornind so she obviously has forgiven me

OP posts:

aloha · 30/03/2005 19:30

I just find it's really counterproductive (from my own experience) to attribute any bad motives to a baby. I made a real effort to reframe 'clingy' as 'loving' etc etc as a baby really can't have any motives apart from wanting its needs met - their little brains simply aren't developed enough to do anything else. Mind you, that means I should be reframing my three year old's habit of talking all the way through my phone calls as 'sociable' and 'articulate' instead of bloody annoying!

aloha · 30/03/2005 19:32

I feed my dd endlessly in the evening - the worst that happens is a bit of possetting if she really is stuffed to bursting!

Twiglett · 30/03/2005 20:35

feed them till they're fit to busting mckenzie .. they'll stop when they're full

it gets easier, honest

having 2 is just fabulous

motherinferior · 30/03/2005 20:38

It's awful feeling 'back here again', isn't it. You poor love. It does get better, and in fact becomes totally lovely.

ionesmum · 30/03/2005 20:43

I'm a second time mum too and it's amazing how much you forget. FWIW I fed dd2 as much as she wanted all day and through the evening, then took her to bed at midnight where she'd sleep through until 8 a.m! Just wish it'd work now she one!

Original poster

mckenzie · 31/03/2005 09:28

I like the sound of that ionesmum. This 2/3am lark is going to be the death of me!

OP posts:

Bozza · 31/03/2005 09:55

I think sometimes when you have your second you expect them to be the same baby as your first one was. And it can come as a bit of a shock when they are (from day one) an individual with slightly different responses than the first child.

JanH · 31/03/2005 09:59

Actually I found I'd forgotten almost everything by the time the next one landed (could still change nappies but that was about it until I got used to it again!)

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