Toddler eating on demand? Is this acceptable or lack of discipline?

[uwila]

Okay, I can somewhat understand the concept of breast/bottle feeding an infant on demand. But, I've just realised that my nanny feeds my toddler on demand. I am totally opposed to this philosophy. I think a meal is offered and if she doesn't want it, then okay, but you don't let her have toast when she demands it an hour later.

This thread is a small piece of a much bigger pie. But, I'm really interested to know if parents (or carers) of toddlers let them eat on demand or if you offer them food at mealtime, and then make them go until the next scheduled mealtime before they get any more food.

When I say eat on demand, she gets what she wants when she wants it, but junk food (like cookies and ice cream) are generally off limits.

The problem is if I set past in front of her on the weekend she says "No. Toast!" Nanny goes off to make her toast. I on the other hand believe very strongly that a toddler needs to learn discipline, and she needs to learn that I am not her short order cook.

Incidentally, we have huge problems feeding her on the weekend. And I have only just now realised it's probably because she is expecting me to bring what she demands, and not what I have already prepared.

Okay, okay, you can all see how I feel about it so I have probably biased your responses. But I really would like your opinions before I give nanny a swift kick in the arse, which she is going to get anyway. But, it's so easy to overreact when you are mad about other things.

I'm rambling now... over to the expertise of mumsnet....

Oh yes, I never commented on that point about snacking between meals. Yes, of course I agree. Their little stomachs can only hold so much, so they have to eat more often. But, it can still be regulated times.

Oh if my darling DD was only a good eater I suppose I wouldn't care. But, she is a miserable little git when it comes to eating. She is quite happy just to go without. She hardly ate a thing on Sunday because we couldn't figure out what she would eat. We finally stole one of nanny's already prepared meals not even know what it was, but figured she might eat it. She ate about half. She is 24 monhts old, and eats quantities of a typical 6 month baby. So if you give her a cracker an hour before mealtime, forget it she'll eat nothing.

He he he. I don't know where my DD gets it from - I was very fussy as a kid about food, wouldn't eat any meat apart from chicken and you can forget about fruit and veggies... My husband gets bored of food quickly - he says he'd prefer to have a tablet for each meal - he he he. When we look at ourselves, we are happy our DD is the way she is about food, as long as she's not into sweets and junk, she can eat as and when she wants as far as we're concerned.

MrsWood,

I hope she's a terrible sleeper. Just kidding.

Actually, sleeps like a log - from 7pm most nights And wakes at around 8.30 - 9am most mornings

Although, she has a flaw - when she's ill, she's a NIGHTMARE! Whining and whinging ALL the time. And she's been ill quite often lately (blimmin' nursery!)

Well, then is she at least ugly? Or maybe stupid?

I'm just teasing of course. I am pregnant now and they say the second is never anything like the first, so I'm expecting a fantastic eater and a horrible sleeper.

I'm dreading our second child, we've actually had a very easy time with our dd - 90% of the time she's adorable, but quite obviously hitting the terrible two's at the moment - every now and again, there is a tantrum brewing etc.

So, is your next one on the way? Or are you just thinking ahead?

DD has tantrums, but they pass quickly. She's got a strong will and definite opinions, but she accepts quickly that she is not going to get her way.

Oh, we're planning our second one in about 3 or so months... not preggers yet.