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Behaviour/development

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aargh - 3.5 yr old being a horrible brat and p***ing me off!

36 replies

miranda2 · 14/03/2005 19:43

Is this normal?!
We didn't seem to really have 'terrible twos', but the last few weeks my 3 and 8month old has been really pushing the boundaries. He's been hitting other children at nursery, and running into roads etc. I got tough this evening - he'd said in the morning he wanted to make popcorn and we were planning it all morning before nursery, and on the way home, but then he started really messing about while we had tea - snatching food off my plate and giggling madly etc. At first it was funny, but he KEPT ON doing it, and when I told him off he hit me. He thought this was hilarious, so I told him if he didn't sit down properly it wuold be straight to bed. He hit me again laughing, so I marched him off to bed. He kept saying he wanted to make popcorn, and I explained that I was upset too that he had chosen not to do so by deciding to mess about rather than do what I said when he was given the choice. He is now screaming in bed.

AARGH!!
He is so lovely and adorable and affetionate and funny most of the time - why does he have to ruin it all sometimes??
Do you think this could be playing up because ds2 is due in 6 weeks? He is very keen on hte idea of his baby brother turning up, but maybe this is all internalised into bad behaviour? But then I think that is daft and far too over analytical, and he is just acting his age - after all, the baby is still not actually here and hasn't changed anything yet.
And how do you all deal with wilful faffing about?? Silly things like stopping walking to run into someones front garden on the way home from nursery, or finishing a plate of food and then throwing hte plate on the floor rather than putting it on the table - nothing major, but I just don't have the patience for it. I get angry - i can feel myself seeing red when he is pissing me off - and I can be so close to just bashing him or really screaming at him. I don't do the former but do sometimes do the latter, which is just as bad - it terrifies him and I feel awful, but I just lose it.
Help!!!

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elliott · 17/03/2005 10:34

georginaa (hey have you changed your name back - i can't even remember what the new one was!) - does your ds1 understand the concept of money that well? Do you exchange stickers for a set amount of money - does he know for e.g. what £5 and £10 are?
I think I'm going to start another thread as my ds1 has no clue at all about money and shopping and I have been wondering for a while if he is a bit 'behind' on this (he's 3yr 3m)

GeorginaA · 17/03/2005 10:53

Yes, I have changed it back, I was Casmie for a while but wanted the old me back

No, ds1 doesn't understand the concept of money at all, hence the stickers - I set how many he has to earn for a particular toy (I "rig" it to make it roughly worth £10 a month that he gets). For a £5 toy he has a nice 4x4 grid (16 stickers) he has to earn - so assuming he was good every single night it would take him just over 2 weeks to earn the toy. I double it for a £10 toy - not really an exact science!!

Mainly instigated because his list of wants grows more every day, and I wanted some controlled way of giving him things without expecting a boy that young to wait for a Christmas or Birthday. He'll be 4 in May. It's actually worked quite well for us as a way of heading off tantrums in shops or when he sees something on TV "ooo, yes - that looks lovely. We'll have to add it to your list of things to save up for, won't we?" or "I'm sorry, that toy is a bit big. How about we put it on your birthday list?"

By the time he gets to choosing a new toy for the sticker chart it's then usually something he really wants and the fickle impulse interests have been forgotten about by the time delay.

He's about half way to a Toby for his Tomy Thomas Road & Rail set at the moment....

GeorginaA · 17/03/2005 10:54

Oh, meant to say. Once he's earned all the stickers we have a mini ceremony where he hands me the sticker chart and I hand him the wrapped toy he was saving up for Obviously don't have to wrap it up, but I like the extra excitement it gives him

Planning on giving proper pocket money around 6 years old...

elliott · 17/03/2005 11:34

that sounds more like something ds1 could get a handle on. Though the strange thing is that ds1 doesn't really have 'wants' for toys (he is about 7 months younger than your ds1 though) - so if I try to talk to him about what he would like if I got him some new toys I don't get very far. Though last time I went to the shops with him to see what kind of things he wanted, he did start saying he wanted everything which wasn't much use either!

GeorginaA · 17/03/2005 12:12

I wouldn't worry about it then, elliott - wait until he's a bit more materialistic

elliott · 17/03/2005 12:13

probably not long then

miranda2 · 17/03/2005 15:54

I know elliot - I've thought about a sticker chart for ds but he doesn't really have 'wants'. Maybe because he never sees adverts?? The only thing he does want is more trains (preferably 'with controllers' since dh took him to a model railway exhibition to get him out of my hair in the early stages of pg) and dh is currently building a hornby layout in the attic to be unveiled as a distraction from baby in the near future! Might try the bunny clock though.

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GeorginaA · 17/03/2005 16:31

miranda, sorry to disallusion you, but ds1 doesn't see any adverts either That doesn't stop him seeing characters on TV and saying "I want a toy one of those" or seeing toys his friends have or nursery has and deciding he wants one of those... All of a sudden he just seemed to want a lot of "stuff".

Azure · 17/03/2005 16:46

Just depressed to read about the hormone boost at 4 - DS2 is due 2 days before DS's 4th birthday. DS (3.6 now) is suddenly massively into swords and fighting and has his willful moments - getting dressed for pre-school is the usual battle. As he changed schools recently he has an after-school nanny for the first time and I must admit that a 24-year old (the nanny) has a lot more energy than a tired 38 year-old (me) after a day's work. He can get all his running around out of the way with her before I get home - well, that's the idea, anyway.

miranda2 · 17/03/2005 21:33

Just to say that ds apparently had an 'excellent' day at nursery today, and was the only child helping tidying up! So a bit calmer today, bless him.

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nappybaglady · 17/03/2005 21:47

miranda - have a look at the thread about threenagers from sometime last year. I took great comfort from that when my sweet liitle girl (now 4) was suddenly being a stroppy young madam.

Ds is only 18m but already like a bit of a tornado. Not going to think about what he might be like when he's 4

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