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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Why the rush???

49 replies

hercules · 12/02/2005 09:27

Why is that childrens development has to be a race? Why are so many parents in such a rush to for their child to achieve the next stage?
It seems parents are in a rush to get their child onto solids, never mind if they are ready really. Thinking of the baby walker thing - if walkers get babies walking quicker why is that seen as a good thing?
Can't we just enjoy them how they are rather than pushing them to the next stage before they are really ready and let them find their own way, in their own time?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

HunkerMunker · 12/02/2005 22:27

I get people being surprised I'm so laid back about things because DS is my first and I'm meant to be totally neurotic and competitive about him (according to HV, etc).

Can't be arsed though. He's happy, comical and sweet-natured and people say nice things about him. I'm a happy mum!

expatinscotland · 12/02/2005 22:28

Quite right, coppertop. Imagine how boring the world would be if we were all the same?

Gwenick · 12/02/2005 22:29

very true coppertop - that's the joy of looking at DS2 (14 months) obviously no 'talking' yet - but COMPLETELY different from his brother in terms of things he can do now.

prunegirl · 12/02/2005 22:30

Message withdrawn

HunkerMunker · 12/02/2005 22:32

What is it with mums who say 'we' to describe something their child can do?!! I always feel like saying 'What a clever mummy you have, she can roll over/crawl/wipe her own arse'!

jamiesam · 12/02/2005 22:33

Hercules

Don't know about your situation (age of dd etc) but do sympathise.

My ds1 was very slow to talk and I began to think I ought to see hv/gp/speech therapist. Fortunately friend with ds around 18mths older than my ds had been through similar concerns, had demanded the referal to s/t and been told that yes, her 18mth old was slow to speak, but come back in a year and we'll see how he's doing. Her ds like mine subsequently developed entirely normal speech.

Ds1 is now 3 yrs and 5mths and is starting to have lovely long and normal conversations. Ds2 is 19mths and other than 'no no no' and the odd (and never repeated) word, doesn't talk at all. Am not worried, although according to 'the books' he ought to be doing far better, and I feel that friends studiously DON'T ask me about his speech.(Me, sensitive?!)

I know it's no good telling you not to be stressed. Might be worth thinking about other ways that your dd communicates to reassure yourself. That is, if she has developed speech otherwise normally up to (but not including) actual words, and can express an opinion with shouts or nods, then I would have thought there isn't a basic problem.

sallystrawberry · 12/02/2005 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HunkerMunker · 12/02/2005 22:35

I have had occasional (sleep-deprivation-induced) pangs of 'surely he should be sleeping better than this?!!' But they're usually brought on by reading anything Gina Ford's written. I soon saw the link!

expatinscotland · 12/02/2005 22:37

Ach, prunegirl! I'm getting the boak just from reading that! 'We have a new trick.'?!!! Like a circus animal? I don't miss vulgarity like that. I'd be like, 'Have you now? Well dd's got one as well. It's called 'lazy git'. I give her her bottle, she climbs on the couch w/it and sits on her a* happily watching Cbeebies whilst I have a spot of peace. Grand, eh?'

Of course, my lack of arrogance was always perceived as not having that 'go get 'em' attitude and being an uncommitted slacker - 'underachiever'.

Needless to say, we'll be staying in Scotland all our days .

sallystrawberry · 12/02/2005 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HunkerMunker · 12/02/2005 22:39

I'm an uncommitted slacker. And proud of it

expatinscotland · 12/02/2005 22:40

Raises glass to HunkerMunker

ThomCat · 12/02/2005 22:41

One of the bonuses of having a child with special needs is you automatically opt out of the race. Must say it's great, I love that I don't have to compare. We live in our world and our world only where Lottie dicates the pace, we just guide she does the rest. Not saying it doesn't hurt sometimes, in some areas, but in general I like that we live at her pace and don't worry about keeping up with anyone else.

Lottie is slow to develop in some areas and as I see it, the way I live, you have to try and always find the positive, so I have had my child grow slowly in front of my eyes and I'm grateful for every little hurdle jumped. I look forward to the day she walks, very, very much, but I'm happy that I can opt out of the majority of comparing my childs abilities to the next child.

jamiesam · 12/02/2005 22:42

Hunkermunker - LOL etc.

Go on then, I really want to know the reaction when you say that!

Gwenick · 12/02/2005 22:42

Well dd's got one as well. It's called 'lazy git'. I give her her bottle, she climbs on the couch w/it and sits on her a* happily watching Cbeebies whilst I have a spot of peace. Grand, eh?'

Would your DD like to come and teach DS2

a) how to drink his bottle on his own
b) How to climb on the sofa

PLEASE????

expatinscotland · 12/02/2005 22:45

Gwenick
Before she realised she could see the TV better by getting on the couch, she had a full-sized 'pilly' as dh calls a pillow and a fluffy blanket to sprawl out on the floor . Start w/that and see how you get on. Put him on his side facing the TV and use the pillow to prop the bottle up.

You can tell the apple didn't fall very far from the tree w/my dd! . I'm just now getting my a* in gear and I'm in my mid-30s!

jamiesam · 12/02/2005 22:47

Sorry, board far too fast for me, referring to
'I always feel like saying 'What a clever mummy you have, she can roll over/crawl/wipe her own arse'!

Will indeed be laughing about this for a few days yet.

Gwenick · 12/02/2005 22:47

LOL - that would be funny - tring to get him to lye still with it - if we 'do' let him hold his bottle he's running round the room grinning and laughing............then runs back to us, holds the bottle up (or throws it at us) and stands an whinges until you pick him up

colditzmum · 12/02/2005 22:54

My son's sense of humour is more developed tham any thing else. He is 22 mo and has only just linked "Mummy" to me, but he has been laughing at his own farts for a year!

HunkerMunker · 12/02/2005 22:57

DS laughs at his own farts and burps (never ever hears other people do them, we don't in our house, of course). Boys get toilet humour sensors very early I think!

Original poster

hercules · 13/02/2005 08:01

LOl at this thread

OP posts:

posyhairdresser · 13/02/2005 08:18

Parenting is mainly a competitive sport

Cod · 13/02/2005 08:30

Message withdrawn

Stilltrue · 13/02/2005 16:51

Can I hide behind the protection of expatscot for just a moment and say that in 11+ years of parenting, the most competitive mother BY FAR that I've met has been ...American. All her comments and "see if you can better that" type remarks are said apparently totally without irony or self deprecation. She used to make my head spin, but I now just try to avoid her, or say something self deprecating instead if face to face chat is unavoidable. (It's all school gate stuff; I don't seek her out!)

Expatscot, what's it all about? Some culture specific help and advice please!

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