How long would you leave an overtired 8 week old crying ?

[Looby34]

Despite watching my ds (8 weeks) for cues he is tired, he is quite hard to read and sometimes gets overtired and then impossible to settle.

Sometimes I sit next to his cot and try shushing him, sometimes I sit with him on my knee (in desperation), shushing him with his dummy in his mouth. You can see he is knackered but won't give in to it.

Tonight after trying to get him off to sleep several times (unsuccessfully) I left him crying in his room for 10 minutes or so. His cries became less frequent and eventually he fell asleep.

I am wondering whether I should just leave him to when it happens again - and how long it is OK to leave him for.

Any thoughts would be appreciated - plsu tips on how to settle an overtired lo.

Thanks

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

It can be done, it really can. Ds1's sleep crying was - well you could really hear, in his cries "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh go away. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm bolloxed. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shut the fuck up and leave me alone. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so bloody tired."

And if you picked him up it escalated rapidly.

But with ds2, you could hear in his cries "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh wear the hell is my mummy, argh argh argh pick me up pick me up, oh my fucking GOD am on my own here? ARGGGHHHHHHHHH help, help, help, Arghhhhhhhhhh oh god oh god oh god...." and when you picked him up (which I did^) he stopped, or at least calmed.

So yes, they are all different. If I'd only had the secnd, I'd have thought people were cruel to leave them, if I'd only had the first I'd have thought they were cruel not to.

[Onestonetogo]

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[Onestonetogo]

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[ThatBigGermanPrison]

Babies can self soothe. Ds1 did.

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

they did lOL! I was better at interpreting ds1 though, because he only cried for something. He never cried about anything. Ds2 seemed to cry about things, and is to this day more sensitive.

[May2December]

Onestonetogo - my parenting style does not reflect my mothers, I never left ds 1 to cry at all (should have though on reflection). Babies can self soothe and many do (just because yours doesn't it is silly to say none can). Of course I feel an urge to sooth my baby (as my mum did if you read my earlier post). I don't live in the black and white world you live in, where it is always wrong to let a baby cry. Perhaps if you had more than two children (including a baby) you would feel differently.

[Onestonetogo]

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[May2December]

I disagree that 15 minutes is a very very long time to leave a crying baby - in the scheme of things it is a very short time. I wonder how your three year old feels when you rush to your baby everytime it crys. What about their needs etc. Each to their own but I don't read baby manuals or psychologists research I trust my own instincts and FWIW my mother was a 'loving responsive mother who fulfilled our physical and emotional needs and left us to cry as well. She is also very tolerant of other proples parenting styles (I hope you manage to be if you become a grandparent).

[Onestonetogo]

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[Onestonetogo]

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[May2December]

I breastfed all my babies earliest weaned was 7 months latest 12 months (baby led). I do think breastfeeding is a good idea - if it suits both baby and mother but I would never say it is 'best' for every baby and mother. Onestonetogo - just wait until sibling rivalry kicks in your 3 year old won't understand then that ds2 gets his needs met pronto while he has to wait (I'm not critising you for dealing with a baby immediately btw just your rigid views on it). When I had just 2 - the baby always had to wait when I was feeding or reading to DS1 and now she understands taking turns.