New Year's Resolution - Toilet training my 3 year old!

[Eulalia]

Any advice please. The new year has brought the resolution, although it is really an absolutely necessity that ds must be toilet trained. He turns 3.5 this month and I am really ashamed to admit that he is still in nappies. The lateness is due partly to his reluctance although I haven?t been very good about trying recently. Some of it is also due to our house renovations and the bathroom wasn?t exactly a pleasant place to go to being cold and damp. Some days there was a large puddle of water outside the door due to a leak in the passageway. The leak has been fixed and things are a little better.

Anyway today I thought as I have 4 clear days with nothing to do till the mums & toddler groups/playgroup starts next week I may as well start in earnest. We get the training pants on and he does sit on the toilet (although doesn?t actually do anything) and gets a star to go the chart. Fine. However doesn?t seem able to ask for the toilet and just wets the pants. I change them and keep asking him if he wants the toilet. I check them again - they are soaking. He starts being stupid and hyperactive so I realise he is tired (routine gone to shot with Christmas and new year) dd his screaming her head off as she is tired, so I give in and put him in a nappy and he is now having a nap. What has actually been achieved I ask myself? I just don?t seem to be able to get a start on this. How does one cope with things such as nap time? What about going out? What about his playgroup which is 2.5 hours long. Its getting urgent. Anyone else had a child as old as this still in nappies? How do you cope on your own and with another child around

Hi Eulalia, Glad that he's getting the idea a bit and definitely don't want to be the voice of doom but I agree with EmmaTMG that you might have to go cold turkey on the training pants and resign yourself to the extra washing and changing. My ride to mostly dry kids was far bumpier than Emma's sounds but I think that the complete removal of absorbant nappy/trainer pants helped them to eventually make the leap into wanting to be dry... the turning point came when they expressed displeasure at being wet and ordered me to change them immediately. Had they not had the experience of feeling truly soaked I don't know if we'd ever have reached that point!

Think you're absolutely right to remind yourself that you've made a start. It can be so bloody daunting, can't it? Best of luck.

Anyone got any advice on getting a 2 1/2 yr old out of a nappy at night. My ds has been toilet trained for quite a while now but I havn't as yet mustered up the courage or energy to try him in pants in bed. His toilet training was rocky to say the least, I started it on the advice of his creche and it was a long road. But we have got there now and he's doing really well. I now feel he's been in a nappy at bedtime for too long and it may be confusing him. He knows nappies are only for bedtime and as soon as he gets up he gets changed into his pants. However, I would really like to get him out of nappies altogether. I just can't bear the thought of disturbed nights (again) and soaking bed clothes every morning, but I know I have to start somewhere, so can anyone give me some advice. Pleaseeeee!

Pigwig - My 2 1/2 year old announced last week after 2 weeks in nappies during the day that he didn't want a nappy at night, just pants. For the first two nights he woke once at around 3am and called me saying he needed a pee. I put him on the potty and then he went straight back to bed and to sleep (so did I luckily!). The next 2 nights he slept through dry until 6/6.30am. The next night he wet the bed. Last night he woke at 2am for the potty, but he had been really thirsty before bed and drunk a lot of water and hadn't done a big pee before bed. So not bad for the first week out of nappies at night - give it a go! I put a towel under the square mattress protector for extra absorption in case of accidents. It is a pain being woken in the night but that shouldn't last long, hopefully he'll quickly get the hang of having a pee last thing at night and then sleeping through dry. Put him to bed in pyjamas and maybe pants too, and tell him to call you if her needs a pee. You'll never know until you try! And in my opinion pull-ups are a waste of time, I found them totally counter-productive with my first child. I think once they've got the hang of pants during the day it makes sense to put them to bed in pants too.
Good luck!!!

Sorry I missed your messages Scummymummy and EmmaTMG. Good news - last couple of days he is managing to use the potty with loose pyjama bottoms on. He's also asked a few times while we are out (while he had training pants on). I agree that they are not ideal and confusing as he has actually called them nappies but I sometimes go out for most of the day and I just couldn't cope with the number of changes. Also he is at playgroup 2 mornings a week and the staff will only either change nappies (if obviously needed) or take them to the loo. He is in the disposable pants then which are so absorbant that he doesn't notice he is wet but when we get home he is learning to pull them up and down.

Sorry for rambling ... I guess I am saying that the training pants may be delaying thigns but we are getting there. Its dificult in the cold weather too (not to mention having a baby to cope with as well!

2.5 yrs is young to be trained at night so I think you'll need to be prepared for more accidents than if he was older. Night time dryness is a bit different to day time as it's not within their conscious control while they are asleep, but if you think your ds is ready, give it a bash!

A couple of tips for the bed. Make it up with a waterproof and a sheet then put a second waterproof and sheet on top. That way, if you need to change a bed in the middle of the night you can just whip off the top layer and, hey presto, you have dry sheets underneath! I also used Pampers changing mats on the bed when my dd was a bit unreliable. They would be too expensive to use every ngiht but if your child just has an occasional accident one lasts for ages. Good luck!

Dear Eulalia
Toilet training was the hardest thing I've ever done with my dd! I expected it to be quick because I didn't start til about 2 and 9 months, (and only then because preschool was imminent). It was or seemed like a long slog! But 6 months later I can take my dd out for 4 hour trips and her bladder seems to be made of iron. Then while at home she has the tiniest of wet patches in her pants from holding on too long because the downstairs cloakroom is freezing cold! You are not alone in finding the whole thing an ordeal, but there is a lot of pride to come at each step your ds makes along the road...Hang in there!

Thanks for the words of encouragement Popparoo!