miserable, rude, demanding 4 year old (long-sorry)

[hatter]

DD1 (4.5) is contriving to make our life a misery. Some of the time she is lovely, but a lot of the time recently she's truly awful. She seems determined to be miserable, to have an argument. The most trivial thing sets her off - and it's nearly always mine or DH's fault. Today has been fairly typical - she woke at 7 and instantly burst into tears because her teddy had fallen out of bed. I would say that she finds a reason to burst into tears on waking about 50 per cent of the time at the moment. She had breakfast and then watched some tv, dh brought her some clothes downstairs so that she could get dressed whilst watching Dick and Dom. She proceeded to cry hysterically for about 20 minutes because he had brought the wrong type of socks. She went to demand (and I mean DEMAND) that he get some more - this involved going further than she would have needed to go to get them herself! Over the rest of the day we had about 3-4 more similar incidents, each time involving 15-20-odd minutes of total hysteria. Each time over something totally trivial. We delude ourselves that we do a reasonable job of balancing out rewards and threats, of being consistent, and of giving warnings, but we're clearly doing something wrong! It's very hard not to get bad tempered and I worry that we're just heading into a horrible cycle. We're actually beginning to wonder if there's something wrong with her. She seems hungry a lot of the time, and is better after food, but not convinced that can entirely explain it. What do we do? We are both of us really fed up.

yes, its the ups and downs that wear me out. You never know where you are.

Agree with mgvf regarding bach remedies or homeopathy. If it goes on a while I'd try cranial ostepathy too as it worked wonder for DS2, even after his first session.

Hatter, also does it help when you're out of the house? I find getting out with dd1 and walking along - maybe because as Enid points out this is v much one on one, since DD2 is reclining reluctantly in the buggy - really improves things.

DD2's moods, now, there's a toddlerstrop in the making...

oh yes, she's an angel one-one. I'm still gritting my teeth and am determined not to get wound up. Ultimately baiting me is the whole point of the exercise so if I don;t bite it becomes kind of pointless and - fingers crossed - it seems to be sinking in. Was cross last night with dh though - went to some fireworks at which she screamed because she didn't like the sausage roll she was given and because she was quiet for all of about 30 seconds dh capitulated and got her something else. grrrrr.

Oh, I am so happy to read this thread because it seems to mean that it is not just me! Ds has also just started school and probably it's connected with settling down and being tired, but this makes all the nonsense at bedtime even worse, because all my plans for him to get more rest come to nothing. He has also started "playing the fool" which is driving me crazy. He uses a silly voice which is unclear so I can't understand him (I have to ask him to use his real voice which he eventually does with ease). He argues with absolutely everything and pretends not to understand. He sits there quietly in his bedroom pondering the floor or a teddybear when he is supposed to be getting dressed for school, until I start raising my voice, then he deliberately puts both legs into one leg of his trousers and pretends to be confused about it until I come, then he puts his shirt on back to front, I steely ignore this and say well done for finally getting dressed, and then he eventually turns it round himself after 10 minutes of asking him to put his sweater on (he pushes me away if I say we are late and I'll just put his clothes on him), and he pretends to be bewildered making a big noise because his hat is in the sleeve of his coat. All this results in us running all the way and arriving just on time for school so all the children say, "You missed playtime. You have to go to the back of the line," which is just what I wanted to avoid for poor ds. There is absolutely no question that he is acting up because he is very clever and when it suits him he can be dressed and ready quicker than me. He is also the sweetest, kindest person ever, eager to learn, with a lovely sense of humour, and I just can't understand how he flits between these behaviours and what triggers it and how I could minimize bad behaviour.

Um, hey all, do also remember, kids can get worms, and man that can manifest in a foul mood, BIG TIME.

Lets face it an itchy bum is not a good feeling!

I think a lot of bad behaviour in many children could be fixed simply by a worm tablet. When one sleeps soundly without being annoyed through the night, and itchy through the day, things are a lot better!

Nothing to ever be ashamed of, quite usual in the human race and as easy as getting a pack of VERMOX or similar at the chemist.

Could maybe give them a go, nothing to lose and no damage done... you'll maybe even get an adorable kid back

good luck

mvgf, I know that your advice is well meant, but I don't think that it is right to give worm medications casually. A healthy digestive tract has all sorts of "good" bacteria living in it to aid digestion and unless there really are symptoms of worms, I would never give worm treatments casually and wipe out all the "good" bacteria.