I have had enough - I want to know if my Lo is normal or not!

[bumbly]

Basically been now 16 weeks and every time asked midwife, health visitor or gp whether my Lo is normal they never answer me and say "he seems fine perhaps a bit slow/behind"

I am asking the mumsnet collective are there any vids/footage around of how a 3 month old should move etc

desperate

basically i have no friends or family with babies and have never been with babies before my lo

he jerks a lot now at 16 weeks
still contorts a lot
spastic basically
and then there is his wobbly head - every one else at baby group has babies with still heads except my LO

he is exactly like Jack Sparrow from "Pirates!"

no other babies i now seem to move like mine

he is pretty active reaching for thigns but ever so spastically and every one else has babies that don't reach out yet so cant compare...

need to see film of how other 16 week old babies move...

ta

morning bumbly

if i may be so bold, do you think you might be suffering a little from depression / anxiety ?

many of your posts are very worried, scared sounding, you don;t seem to be enjoying your baby .

babies are very different, some develop a lot quicker than others, often they do jerk, throw their arms out, and startle

part of it is called the moro reflex, and some babies have it stronger and longer than others. if a baby is startled, they throw their arms out and can jerk themselves.. sometimes they cry as they have given themselves a fright! it is perfectly natural, normal and nothing to be worried about

also, babies are not as co-ordinated as older children, hence poking themselves in the eye, scratching themselves etc

however, there is a lot to be said for a mothers' instinct, and if you feel, your baby needs help, then you must pursue it, privately if neccesary.

i hope you get some peace of mind and reassurance.

SweetFA, spastic is a proper medical term, and like schizoid, just because idiots misuse it doesn't mean it's a bad word.

I know it has a proper meaning but I had the idea that it was perhaps not a very well thought of word when used in the context below, ie like someone with CP as I think the OP was trying to describe. I might well be wrong, sorry if I was.

Agree with getting your DH to go with you to see HV/GP. I would be very clear with HV (sounds like you already have with GP) that you are worried and want her to take some time to really look at your baby. Referral to Paediatrician is all very well but could take a year!! CDC is better option and you could do that through HV if GP still no good. I DO hope all is alright.

/hijack Davros - why is referal to CDC quicker than to paediatrician?

bumbly I think using the term"like a spastic" is not a good idea. if you want support,.

Bumbly explained what she meant by using the word. I think she is in need of, and deserving of support regardless.

well as I have a child with cerable palsy I thought it was worth pointing out. does not make me unsupportive.

I honestly don't know whether it's still an accepted medical term - but seeing as the "Spastic" Society changed its name to Scope, if it's not accepted by the people affected then that should be respected. Aside from anything else, describing movements as "spastic" is I think genuinely confusing to many of us.

Referral to CDC may not be quicker than Paed and Paed would prob be part of CDC team.... but you get to see several people at CDC, therefore not at the mercy of one person's workload/diary. Just my pov, no evidence.

well dd is 12 and it has never been used by a profesional> anyway said my bit.
lets get back to bumbly and supporting her.
I have no words of advice at prsent but am watching this thread in case I can help.

i apologies for offending anyone with use of word

sorry

bumbly don't worry - i dont thinnk people were offended,as they can see you are genuinely worried. I just think that has become a word that is unpleasant because of its playground use, iyswim. I think people were just pointing out that it might be better not to use it, just in case someone gets upset by it.

But as two shoes says, this thread isnt about semantics, it is about your worries. I dont really have any advice but i do know what it is like to have your worries take over your life. Go back to your GP and insist on a referral, tell your HV that it is taking over your day to day life and affecting the relationship with your son,and that seeing a suitable professional (pead) will put your mind at rest and allow you to enjoy your lovely son. If and that is a huge if, there is a problem then early intervention is only a good thing (but i know nothing about this so i really cant comment)

Just wanted to offer you hugs. I know your worries are genuine and genuine worries can be damaging, just as my irrational ones are - if you see what i mean.

/hijack again - thanks Davros, I was puzzled, as in my area the multi-disciplinary wait is not good - 11 months, but a referal to hospital paed should only take 3 months, as per NHS targets, but of course all areas differ.

Hi @bumbly i know it is a very old thread but you described my little 7 week old word in word. He is a long awaited child after 3 ivf attempts and I am besides myself with worry. Do you mind me asking what was the outcome for you? X