What’s ‘normal’ for an 8 month old?

[FirstTimeDad123]

We’re first time parents of a beautiful 8 month old boy. Neither of us really have any experience with babies, so we end up constantly disagreeing whether our sons behaviour is normal or not. I’ve always been a worrier, so I’m naturally drawn to ‘red-flags’ of ASD, occasionally being ‘convinced’ he is showing hallmark signs while my wife argues otherwise. I’d really appreciate if some experienced mums and dads could let me know if the following is ‘normal’ or not:

• Responds to his name maybe 50% of the time at most.
• Mostly will babble randomly, but will sometimes imitate our babbling (but won’t necessarily look at us while doing it).
• With the babbling, he can’t say dadada yet, just mamama and bababa. I’m trying not to take it personally
• Good feeder, decent fine motor skills. Crawling is 90% there.
• Started playing peekaboo about a month ago and while he’ll still play sometimes, he isn’t nearly as enthusiastic.
• Same with the mirror. Really loved playing with the baby in the mirror, but seems to have recently lost interest.
• Will smile back to us, but not all the time
• Eye contact is ok from afar, but he really isn’t fond of it when held close.
• Can play by himself easily enough, doesn’t get upset when left alone.
• No clapping or waving yet
• Not particularly cuddly unless tired
• Terrible sleeper for his first few months. He has just dropped the night feed, but will still tend to ‘stir’ a few times per night and may need his dummy put back in.

Admittedly, I’m a worrier, but I can’t help but see a collection of things pointing towards the early signs of ASD

@FirstTimeDad123

We’re first time parents of a beautiful 8 month old boy. Neither of us really have any experience with babies, so we end up constantly disagreeing whether our sons behaviour is normal or not. I’ve always been a worrier, so I’m naturally drawn to ‘red-flags’ of ASD, occasionally being ‘convinced’ he is showing hallmark signs while my wife argues otherwise. I’d really appreciate if some experienced mums and dads could let me know if the following is ‘normal’ or not:

• Responds to his name maybe 50% of the time at most.
• Mostly will babble randomly, but will sometimes imitate our babbling (but won’t necessarily look at us while doing it).
• With the babbling, he can’t say dadada yet, just mamama and bababa. I’m trying not to take it personally
• Good feeder, decent fine motor skills. Crawling is 90% there.
• Started playing peekaboo about a month ago and while he’ll still play sometimes, he isn’t nearly as enthusiastic.
• Same with the mirror. Really loved playing with the baby in the mirror, but seems to have recently lost interest.
• Will smile back to us, but not all the time
• Eye contact is ok from afar, but he really isn’t fond of it when held close.
• Can play by himself easily enough, doesn’t get upset when left alone.
• No clapping or waving yet
• Not particularly cuddly unless tired
• Terrible sleeper for his first few months. He has just dropped the night feed, but will still tend to ‘stir’ a few times per night and may need his dummy put back in.

Admittedly, I’m a worrier, but I can’t help but see a collection of things pointing towards the early signs of ASD

Forgot to add - about a month back, he started imitating our head shaking (like saying no) and smiling at us. He’s doing it quite a bit now, even in other situations - and guess what - it’s supposedly an early sign of ASD

Hi there,

Didn't want to read and not reply, I'm a first time mum. My boys 10 month old. I have a 8 nieces and nephews so seen a few babies haha. All your little ones behaviour sounds completely normal and no red flags to me at all. I'm a worrier and had my little one with peadatrician with all sorts. He's completely fine. He still won't say Dadda at all but babbles away. m and b is easier to say for some babies. Clapping wouldn't worry until 10 month at least, Answering his name, he will do when he wants to and other times will ignore you because he wants to. He sounds completely normal and well on target for his age. I've learnt with mine they do all sorts of wierd things and do things in their own time. Have a chat with the health visitor and talk your worries over that will make you feel better. Time goes so quick enjoy your little one as their not little long. I lost time worrying over so many things and now he either doesn't do half of what worried me or he's caught up to a milestone he hadn't done 'on time'. Throw the book away and enjoy the time. If he wasn't doing all the things by one Yr then have a chat with a doctor. But from what you describe everything seems right on point ☺️. Good luck..

Which of these do you think are ASD signs? All sounds normal to me.

My baby used to avoid eye contact up close (especially my husband for some reason), loved shaking her head and even twirled her wrists lots.

She is now 20 months old and showing no signs (that I’m aware of) of ASD - very happy, sociable toddler and even slightly ahead on some areas of development.

@FirstTimeDad123

We’re first time parents of a beautiful 8 month old boy. Neither of us really have any experience with babies, so we end up constantly disagreeing whether our sons behaviour is normal or not. I’ve always been a worrier, so I’m naturally drawn to ‘red-flags’ of ASD, occasionally being ‘convinced’ he is showing hallmark signs while my wife argues otherwise. I’d really appreciate if some experienced mums and dads could let me know if the following is ‘normal’ or not:

• Responds to his name maybe 50% of the time at most.
• Mostly will babble randomly, but will sometimes imitate our babbling (but won’t necessarily look at us while doing it).
• With the babbling, he can’t say dadada yet, just mamama and bababa. I’m trying not to take it personally
• Good feeder, decent fine motor skills. Crawling is 90% there.
• Started playing peekaboo about a month ago and while he’ll still play sometimes, he isn’t nearly as enthusiastic.
• Same with the mirror. Really loved playing with the baby in the mirror, but seems to have recently lost interest.
• Will smile back to us, but not all the time
• Eye contact is ok from afar, but he really isn’t fond of it when held close.
• Can play by himself easily enough, doesn’t get upset when left alone.
• No clapping or waving yet
• Not particularly cuddly unless tired
• Terrible sleeper for his first few months. He has just dropped the night feed, but will still tend to ‘stir’ a few times per night and may need his dummy put back in.

Admittedly, I’m a worrier, but I can’t help but see a collection of things pointing towards the early signs of ASD

My son is 18 months and on the pathway To asd and doesn't do what your 8 month does. Try and enjoy your baby. I have spent the last 5 Months worrying and I can honestly say your child sounds fine!

Every single thing you have listed is perfectly normal.

Thanks so much everyone, this is really a lovely resource.
I suppose something just seems off to me and in lockdown, we have no one to consult. The limited reaction to his name coupled with him not always paying attention to me when I’m speaking to him led me to consult Dr. Google, and all the little things seem to point in one direction.

It may be worth getting his hearing checked if you can (appreciate Covid can make such checks difficult)?

@NewMum0305

It may be worth getting his hearing checked if you can (appreciate Covid can make such checks difficult)?

Pretty sure his hearing is fine. I gather that suggests there is a problem?

No honestly, suggesting getting hearing checked does not mean there's a problem just to make sure. I'd be impressed if an 8 month responded to their name all the time. I went on anxiety meds when I convinced myself something was wrong with myself. Life is better for us all now. Convincing yourself over little things honestly is going to drive you mad and your wife.

Yes, to be clear - I don’t think anything you had said warrants concern at all. It was just that the two points you highlighted could be caused by hearing issues so thought it worth suggesting.

But I don’t see anything unusual in what you have described. My best advice would be to stay away from Google and enjoy your child x

Thanks all.
It just breaks my heart when he doesn’t respond to his name and it’s made me paranoid and too vigilant about all other signs.

Frankly, I’m struggling to cope with the anxiety of it all, so plan to seek out some counselling soon.

It's awful when you get something in your head and you look for things that just fit with your thoughts. I went on some anxiety meds, just for a couple of month to settle down. Sounds like your pretty simerlar. They honestly choose to ignore sometimes he's only 8 months and doing brilliantly and everything you've listed is completely normal. Don't miss his best parts because your analysing everything. Get some help and that anxiety and thoughts will slowly fade. X

@Jaim23

It's awful when you get something in your head and you look for things that just fit with your thoughts. I went on some anxiety meds, just for a couple of month to settle down. Sounds like your pretty simerlar. They honestly choose to ignore sometimes he's only 8 months and doing brilliantly and everything you've listed is completely normal. Don't miss his best parts because your analysing everything. Get some help and that anxiety and thoughts will slowly fade. X

Thanks so much. We had a friend who is an actual paediatrician tell us that everything seems fine, but I’ve got to a stage now where I’m convinced I know more (or are more honest) than the professionals.

Yeah that would be the anxiety @firsttimedad. I too convinced myself they were not seeing what I was seeing which interestingly became evident when I went on the anxiety meds. Honestly, what you've got to think moving forward that the problem lies with your thoughts not with your son. Autism would not even be taken seriously until he was older and do you really want to spend the next couple of years in that state? Also if your little boy did begin to show any signs of autism would it be the end of the world? He is still your beautiful son. What are you so scared of? These are questions I had to ask myself and the answer in the end was that we don't get to pick what our children become and I will love him no matter what. I think you need to firstly get some help then talk about this. I honestly was very simerlar and I look back now and want to Slap myself around the face for some of my thoughts and behaviour. What I do find interesting is where are these thoughts coming from as their are honestly no red flags in your descriptions. Dr Google is the worst enemy and my advice would be just stop googling. I really hope this settles down for you as your going to miss some of the best times with all this worry. X

@FirstTimeDad123
How is your son doing now?

@ttrrii Really good thanks. Sometime after he turned 12 months, I stopped frantically checking milestone lists every month because I could see it was driving me mad.
As far as I know, my son, now 17 months, is developing well - pointing, saying a lot of words, answering back (most of the time!) etc.

I'm annoyed at myself for getting so 'wound up' at the time but it was probably just my nature.