"Father Christmas is just a man dressed up"

[marialuisa]

announced my 3.5y old a few days ago. Prodding has revealed that she's drawn her own conclusions about this (because if he were real he's be dead by now)and the halfway house of "the real one lives in greenland and the ones ine the shops are his helpers" isn't going to wash. DD is very big on "The Truth" and has been spreading "The Truth" round nursery which has led to some fall-out.

How do I stop her getting into a muddle about this? I've already been asked to tell DD she's wrong by another mother but TBH we don't want to. She's sussed this for herself, isn't remotely traumatised and we think we should just let it lie.

DH is hoping her deep and sincere belief in God will shortly disappear too....

She's thinking about FC because there's stuff everywhere (not least the idiot dresed up in town!).

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really shocked there's fc's about already. no wonder there's doubt.........

good thread this. DS1 (then 4.5) said exactly what your DD said last year, Marialuisa. (we had seen some particualry ropey Santas!)
I said, as others, yes, they are some of his helpers but you get presents on chr Day don't you, so there must be an FC!
DH told me I shouldn't lie to DS but I felt that that was just misdirection as someone on here said. I think he does still believe there is someone bringing the presents. hope so as DS2 is only 18mo!
Secur, your christmas eve tradition sounds so so lovely. Love the idea of snowflake collection box!

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Just tell her that 'Santa'is part of the big game we play at Christmas, and we dont want to spoil it for other children. I dont think i ever really believed in FC but i still played the game.

I can still remember the disappointment I felt when I found out that FC wasn't real, not because I was upset he didn't exist but because my parents had lied to me! It was the first time I can remember feeling cheated by them, I felt they had made a fool of me. So I'm in two minds about what to tell my daughter, as I, too, don't particularly want to lie to her, but then again I want her to feel the magic of Christmas.

Some friends of ours are very religious and they told their children right from the start that FC was just a nice story that some people like to believe in, but that they mustn't say anything to other children as it would spoil it for them. The eldest was fine with this, but the youngest girl was distraught at the thought because "Santa comes to everyone else, why can't he come to me?". Nothing will stop a child from believing if they want to believe.

I agree with Miranda - IMO it's not lying to talk about FC in the first place, but if a child is clever (like Marialuisa's prodigy!) and works out for themselves that he's not real, it is lying (albeit a mild, well-intentioned lie) to insist that they are wrong and he does exist.

interesting discussion! I thought id add my 10cents worth and say that isn't it funny how lie's come in colours!! Ill explain. When i was young i was told a similar "white lie" by my mum regarding the tooth fairy in that when my baby tooth fell out the tooth fairy would come and get it and take it off to another baby, in this case my 6mth old cousin, who didnt have any teeth and now needed it more than i did. (It just so happened that not long after this my baby cousin was teething adding clout to this "white lie") In return for my "good sharing" i would soon be rewarded with a new "big brave playgroup tooth" which would help me go to playgroup And stay there without mum. So the white lie continued as i grew older and wiser with the arrival of wisdom teeth etc.. In my early teens i recall my parents refering to my lie's as becoming very "grey" and on a couple of ocassions "black". Your discussion has prompted me to realise very clearly, only now, that in reality the world is full of lie's and it has helped me to judge the various levels of severity that lie telling takes thru colour. I think now that my parents did a go job of setting me up to be prepared for this reality. Dont be so hard on yourself, just right it off to human nature. Luck

When my 6 year old ss announced Santa wasn't real, we said, well you won't mind if he doesn't bring you any presents then.....he's really hopeing he's real now!

No - please don't say that
A man dressed up ????
Is he not real ?...... I've wrote my letter & everything