Son (12 months) has just started nursery and his development seems behind. Worried

[DansDad]

My son is 12 months old and started nursery this week as dp has gone back to work 2 days a week. Picking him up from nursery this week, I can't help noticing my son seems behind in everything. He has no words at all and in fact makes very little noise, full stop. He has only just started crawling and pulling himself up. He is a long way off walking. The other kids in nursery are babbling more, have the occasional word and are cruising or walking unaided. They are all about the same age, I think. I suppose mixing him with other kids has made us realise he is behind and we are a little concerned. We read a development book yesterday and it said that they should have one or two words by now. He hasn't. Are we worrying too early? (He is an engaged, bright little boy, who points to indicate what he wants, but he appears to have no desire to walk ot talk.)

'one or two' WORDS, I meant.

Don't worry, have a little drink, don't stress about it, he'll be fine

DansDad, DS started crawling around 11-12m, though he did a bit of walking before which he forgot for a couple of months when we realised that crawling was easier, he is chatting all the time but by 12m the only words he could say was Hello and the name of the dog. How was his hearing check up? if it was fine and he is already pointing he most surely will be fine but it is worth it to have him checked, if you don't like the HV take him to a GP you trust.

Yes - If I tell him I can see a cat he looks around for it. If I ask him if he wants to go in the garden I KNOW he understands as he gets all excited and points in the direction of the garden. If ask him can he dance, without fail he bounces up and down.... so he is really starting to understand me. I've just put a bottle of nice white in the fridge for us, motherinferior....

Dansdad - some more stuff to make you feel better. dd is 11.5 months old is only in the last week started to shuffle slightly on her bottom - it's not fast, not pretty and definitely nowhere near crawling - more like lungeing actually! She also has no interest whatsoever in putting any weight on her legs - so I know it's probably going to be ages before she stands or walks. Most of the time I'm chilled about it - because her speech/babbling (still does't say any proper words but does go ra-ra for bye-bye) and understanding is OK and her fine motor skills such as pointing (like your ds) are very good.

Reading other mums/dads stories about development also helps and makes you realise that you're not the only one with a child who doesn't follow the textbook or my MIL's ideas of what dd should be doing and when - in fact we should probably throw them all away and be oblivious because then we wouldn't worry at all! Do you think I could throw away my MIL too???

juniperdewdrop, thanks for understanding about ambitious mums - the latest is her saying that her son can say 3 word sentences (her example was "more biscuit please" - yeah right; an 18 month old that uses please), and another lady just said "yes, but doesn't it only count if somebody other than you can understand it?". DD please try to ignore as much of this silly pressure as possible and just carry on as you are playing with and reading to your son and he will be fine.

Dansdad you sound great and so does your DS. My DS1 FWIW crawled at 11mo and walked at 16.5mo. DS2 was walkign before 10mo! just mention that to illustrate how children vary. The baby books that say "a couple of words at 1 yr" are just talking in general terms. Sounds as tho yr DS is coming on fine. But yes, in answer to your question, delayed walkign and talking CAN be a sign of another problem, so you are right IMO to keep and eye and be aware. Jimjams as someone else mentioned has an autistic DS and knows a lot about this, always says pointing is highly significant. My DS2 (the early walker) didn't say that much either, btu suddenly is coming out with lots of words (he's 16mo). Keep doign all the things you are doing, singing, reading, rhymes, games, encourage him to try to pull up by putting toys on the sofa etc; I'm sure you do all this already. Your DS will be fine I am sure.

Dansdad - I was a childminder when DD was the age of your DS - she walked said quite a few words and ate everything we gave her. The little boy I looked after who was 7 weeks younger did not even crawl, said nothing at all and existed on about 2 different foods - they are still firm friends and although the little boy has just caught up with DD in the speaking stakes (DD could talk for England though - her speciality is repetition!!) I can honestly say that they are exactly the same in every other way.

Don't worry about what the books say or what other children are doing, some look a lot younger than they are especially when they start walking and the fat drops off so you may think they are the same age as your DS when they are in fact quite a bit older.

And as for the talking - DPs borther cane over Monday with his DS - he was 1 in April - he can walk (only very recently) but does not utter a single word although knows exactly what we are talking about.

Sit back relax and take a huge amount of joy from your son - as soon as he starts walking your life wil be completely different and you may wsih that you could sit down rather than chasing him around the house all day!!

you spend the first couple/few years encourageing/teaching them to walk & talk, and the next few years telling them to sit down & shut up.

my ds didn't walk till he was 17 months but then could pretty much do it straight away, no wobbly falling over stage, so he was in just a month walking better than others who'd learnt to walk months earlier.

ds talked very well very early, but did everything else very late - couldn't really sit up till gone 10 months. he just liked watching the action. you'll probably find he's clocking it all up and will be a right little monkey once he's stored enough information & decides the time is right to unleash himself onto the unsuspecting world. he's just lulling you into a false sence of security

Some more encouragement for you.

GLUE EAR DD crawled at 11m and walked at 12m, and speech developed well - she had glue ear and ended up with grommets in the ear canal (to help it drain better) and now at school doing well despite sporadic hearing problems caused by glue ear. (A key sign for glue ear IMO in repeated ear infections).

12M DEVELOPMENT DS just 12m, doesn't crawl, doesn't walk, has no words just mamamama dadadada etc, only just appears to understand No and doesn't point. (Just to illustrate the differences point).

I am happy that there is nothing to worry about, but if you compare everything that everyone else's child is doing you will make yourself worry.

My acid test is how you feel you child is doing when you interact with him/her, regardless of what other children are doing, or books say they should be doing.

Keep positive and keep interacting.

Ds is just over 12 months (birthday last week) - he crawls, cruises, eats well and smiles constantly. He shows no signs of wanting to walk. His only words are daddeeee and ginging (the cat, Genghis). I am lucky enough not to be working and spend lots of time playing with him. I do sometimes compare him with his contemporaries, but most of the time I just think of how fabulous he is. DansDad - please don't worry. Try to enjoy him. I can't believe how quickly this first year has gone. It seems like only yesterday ds was born. Before you know it your ds will be pestering you for pocket money then university fees.