Hello all. First time poster so apologies if I'm breaking numerous taboos. I understand there are hundreds, if not thousands, of similar posts but none feel like they tick exactly the same boxes hence me adding another one to the heap!
My little boy is 20 months and he's loosely ticking some boxes for autism and I basically wanted to know if/when I should be concerned. I'm well aware autism isn't a death sentence but if he does have it I want to make sure he gets all the help he can as early as possible. If it turns out I'm being ultra protective and paranoid then..meh, he's going to have to accept I'm probably going to be that way his entire life!
He's always been an incredible happy baby and is tonnes of fun but there have been a couple of little flags along the way which have concerned me. The problem is, these are countered by some very un-autistic behavior so I end up feeling incredibly guilty all the time.
My concerns were that as a younger bubba, 8-10 months, he was a big hand flapper when excited. I never knew if this was because he had limited control and was just expressing joy or if it was for other reasons. Nowadays that's almost gone but there are little glimpses from time to time.
He also makes limited eye contact, especially close up. I know this is a biggy but he does make some, especially with his mum (yeah sorry, I'm a dad on netmums - netdads s*cks!) and even moreso with strangers and new things. I worry sometimes that maybe he just finds me dull - ha! A member of his nursery raised the eye contact thing as a potential issue but his key worker there thinks he's fine and I'm pretty sure the woman in question got told off as she won't discuss it in the slightest..
Last of my main worries is that he can sometimes be very focused on something and you need to say his name repeatedly to get his attention. There's quite often a delay when you ask him something before he processes it if that makes sense. If we say bye to people there will be a good long delay until he says it too, normally when they're just out of hearing! The doctor has referred him for an ear check-up in case that's an issue but we've not had our appointment yet.
Other than that he's about as normal as a little bulldozer can be. He walks, albeit a bit like Herman Munster, and isn't afraid to explore new things.
He talks. Got a pretty impressive vocab though I imagine only his mum and me can identify half of them. He doesn't string them together often but he has done 2-3 words every now and then and isn't showing any signs of speech regression.
He adores animals and other children and is enjoys interacting with both and he's getting better all the time at new textures. He used to be a bit funny about a few things like foam, jelly and grass but he's overcome that. He's still not sure what the heck sand is all about but, hey, 3 out of 4 ain't bad right?!
He also seems happy with change too. He has his favorite toys but that varies and he's never been one who gets fixated on stacking, spinning or other so called "tells". If you ask him if he wants to read he'll tell you what book he wants and plonk himself on your lap to listen. He'll turn pages and point out things he sees in it too.
I've tried referring him but were told we can't do anything until he's 2 at the earliest. My family think I'm paranoid and I hope they're right!
If anyone has made it through that then...wow. It was a bit of a brain dump in all honesty, work are probably entitled to fire me after the time I took out to write it.
Am I being stupid? It's not like I don't spend my days fixated on it and not enjoying how amazing he is but I want to know if it's something people have experienced themselves or if people feel we should push to get a check up. It feels like every time he does something great I keep going back to the nursery staff commenting on his limited eye contact...which is probably why she hasn't mentioned it again in all honesty.