7 year old dd, at the end of my tether

[hmb]

Help, I don't know what do do!

Dd has always been a difficult child, wonderful but hard work. She has always had the most awful tantrums but I had thought she was over the worst. But things are coming to a head aigain and I am just so worn out and tired I don't know if I can cope with another hellish holiday.

Last Saterday I had to carry her from a party because she was throwing a massive tantrum because she couldn't have the same sweet as the other children (She is 7!). She screamed in her bedroom for over half and hour

Today I picked her up from school with ds, sorted some new school clothes, cooked tea, washed her school clothes and polised her shoes ready for an after school function. She had lot her hair ban and I found her another which was the regulation school green with Tiny flecks of green. And that was all that needed to set her off. Millimeter bit of gold in her hair band and she starts to tantrum.

I am exhausted. I've been up since 5, in work all day, spent all afternoon running round after the kids. I'm worried sick about my dh, who is fine for the moment. And my mother has dementia. I am so tired I can hardly see, and still nothing I do is good enough for my dd and she is driving me insane. I don't think that I can cope with her having tantrum like this all summer.

I know that compared to some my life is easy. But at the moment I am so down I cant cope. I just lost it and yelled at her tonight.

hmb, you have all my sympathy which I suspect will turn to empathy quite soon..

DD is 4 and will start full time in reception in September and is showing the traits you describe.

It is exhausting, day starts:
wake up, start talking, ask questions (if you are my mum and grandma is your mum and nan was her mum etc etc who was the first mum and how could that be ?)
continue with very logical arguments (I blame her dad) but eventually a tantrum starts due to frustration with either the logic of the argument or an inability to do something physically which is well beyond her at the moment - becomes livid because I won't let her have a go at ironing her own clothes for example (cut herself peeling carrots a while ago but didn't tell me, I noticed the blood & she denied there was anything there)
plus she never stops racing around so needs loads of sleep but has learned to tell the time & now realises how much earlier she goes to bed compared with her pre-school friends & is fighting sleep so the whole tiredness/grumpy thing is getting really out of hand

Sorry I'll shut up now and let you have your thread back

I hope you find some solutions, I'll be hanging on your every word..

learning to control their emotions takes them so long, doesn't it? sorry you have had a rubbish time hmb. You are not a rubbish mother, don't feel that. I'm sure some of it is end of term - all these school functions are so stressful. They break up routines, just when you are at your most tired and end of term-ish. Even though the events can be lovely when you get there, it's all the preparation and disruption - a bit like weddings and holidays.

If faced with a tantrumming unreasonalbe son or two, if I am at a low ebb myself, I sometimes just let it all slide. I just get my sons to choose a video (one I don't mind watching) and we all go upstairs together, lie on the bed together and watch it. I forget baths, homework, even toothbrushing if things have got bad. They are attention demanding chatterers, but as long as we watch something together, their questions dry up. It can work for us, anyway.

but oh I will be glad when term ends - oldest son is driving me mad with his singing - he is doing an end of term performance, and wants a constant audience at home while he practises his songs. Anyone else had to punish their child for singing persistantly - might start a thread on it