Please tell me what your 7/8 year old DS does / plays at home after school.....

[Legacy]

Not interested in the lists of afterschool activities out-of-home, I want to know what a typical 7 or 8 year old boy does when he gets home from school and doesn't have anything 'arranged' as such?

DS1(7) is driving me mad. He seems hopeless at entertaining himself. His limited repertoire of things he does on his own without my involvement are:

• lego
• a bit of reading
• computer games
• gameboy
• annoying his little brother (DS2 - age 4 - who wil HAPPILY play on his own)
• TV (after a certain time)

He's very good at making me feel guilty by arriving with some complex game when he can see I'm busy cooking/ doing housework, and then saying "but everyone else's parents PLAY with them..." (surely that can't be true, can it? Isn't everyone busy at this time?)

I wonder if we need to invest in some new & different toys, or encourage some different 'at home' hobbies which don't involve my intensive involvement?

DS1 (also 7) usually reads, plays with DS2 (5) or watches a nature DVD. He goes to afterschool club two days a week and swimming once, so there are only two days a week when he comes straight home from school.

Ds has after-school activities twice a week. On the other days he comes home, and either disappears to his room with a book or bimbles about playing/bickering with dd2 (3). I'm quite mean with telly, no more than once or twice a week for half an hour, and he doesn't have computer games. Sometimes he gets the lego or playmobil out for some big extravaganza, but mainly he reads.

ds1, same age, does pretty much the same. I'm ok with it, if he's been on the pc too long I make him stop and after some protests he will find something to do.
I do try to leave them to do their own thing rather than "entertaining" them, I hope I'm nurturing their imagination(s?), but I guess i could be kidding myself and just neglecting them really.

We've got DS1 "Antlantis" (with triops, ants etc) - I think that when that's all set up he'll probably spend a lot of time after school just watching it/messing about with it. (He didn't want to set it up until April because that's optimum triops-hatching season, apparently!)

...and we only do one after school activity. Unless they're really interested it's not something I'm encouraging particularly. I do think down time is very important and I see nothing wrong with lolling around daydreaming. What I am very keen on is (fairly) unsupervised outdoor play, poking about with sticks type stuff.

dd1 plays on her nintendo ds for a little bit, wathces a bit of telly and does lots of 'admin' in her room (wrting stuff, colouring etc)

Does homework first.
Watched tv
Plays on playstation2
Plays with his brother (4)
Lego.

The summer months are better as he gets to play outside his favourite thing to do.

Um yes .... I suppose it's this time of year too really, isn't it? They're not particularly keen to be outside when it's cold and wet.

Having re-read my original post, it sounds like he does a lot of computer/TV stuff, but that's not really true, as I DO limit it. It's just that whenever I say "OK, off the computer now, and do something else" I'm met with "But WHAT?" and that's when he finds something that requires my input, either as 'setter-upper' or participant. So, am I right in thinking that not everyone else is sitting for hours in the afternoon playing family Monopoly then ?

My ds is happiest outside poking sticks into the ground and playing football but when he's inside he likes
looking at his Match comics and annuals(he is a football facts geek-worried that he will turn into John Motson)
sorting out his football cards/stickers
Lego
Playstation (which I limit)
watching tv
occassionally playing 'imaginative games with his ds
and playing Cluedo

You're spot on about not playing Monopoly . We only ever get round to playing games with the DSs at weekends, and not always then.

My ds1 is very like this too - constantly wants to do something that needs help when I'm trying to cook / hear his brother read / change the little ones nappy. Don't really have any suggestions - but his reading is getting better and he likes listening to books on CD (the Alex Rider ones are v. popular here) and then he goes and plays at being a spy!

we don't seem to have alot of time after school. ds (8) has spellings to do and piano practice. I don't allow tv or xbox after school (they all argue over it and don't sit down for dinner properly).

He will disappear up to his room and get lost in his toys (currently lego and megabloks seem to be flavour of the month). he is also completely engrossed in Harry Potter atm. He may play his gameboy for half an hour. He loves to soak in the bath as well.

I certainly don't have time to play with the children at that time of day, but they all seem to entertain themselves.

Phew! That's a relief, anyway. I was eally beginning to wonder if I was missing something, and was genuinely being a bad mother!

Sadly he's not into football AT ALL, which means that all the football reading/ cards collecting etc is of no interest to him.

Anymore additions from the evening crowd - I'm still looking for extra inspiration.....

card games. jigsaws. lego models. cooking. chess. uno. (oooh and a little tv and ds....)

I find it's a constant battle to distract him from television/computer. We need some concrete rules here or I will end up freecycling the telly!!!
LizP, are you anywhere near Wilts? Your ds1 and mine could play spies together

Number one activity - playing with friends

Are there no other bored boys around for him to play with?

Hi Legacy, don't think i was helpful earlier. What i meant was i try to leave him to his own devices and not feel guilty about it. I have noticed complaints of boredom this half term though, and I've never had that from him before.
Today dh gave them a can of shaving foam to play with.........

...and then went off to work

Actually it was really good fun, and the dining room's ever so clean.

No-one mentioned eating? My ds does after-school eating - takes up just about all the slack time. Rest is:

• homework (this takes a lot of time too, not because there's lots of it but because it is done sloooowly)
• piano practice
• rampaging with sister (current game: "Jump to Life" & involves sibling A under duvet while sibling B gazes into distance whistling vaguely, then sibling A leaps out of duvet screeching with excitement & sibling B screeches with pretended fright & genuine hilarity. Then swap roles. Repeat.)
• attempting to persuade people to play Monopoly (seems to be a theme there)
• sloshing about in the bath
• bit of reading - not currently as popular as Jump to Life.

Anything involving semi exhausted slumping in front of a screen. (They've already been to after school club by the time they get home.)

Bad Day:Whining, whinging, more whining, more whinging....

Good day:Homework, recorder practice, delightful chats about how her day has been, baking biscuits together and having a flour fight.Oh and then she voluntarily cleans her bedroom.....

Most days: a mixture of the two plus nintendo and tv.

Don't worry Legacy, I only ever let dd detract from dinner duties if its arriving ready cooked in nice silver trays with cardboard lids

TV, computer, knex, Dr Who magazine having fun/fighting (delete as appropriate) with his 4 year old borther.

I also concerned at ds (7 SN) needing so much attention after school! Recently DS into magnetix - easier for poor cordination than lego so requires less maternal assistance, just admiration! Also helps to make his own afterschool snack- he tends to eat his own creations and I can work alongside (lots of extra spills to clear). Can't get him to play in his bedroom yet, still follows me to the loo!!Holidays so much more relaxed! I wonder if he struggles to adapt from the structure and lack of freedom at school to the relatve relaxation of home.