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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do you get your kids to behave in public??

64 replies

Fattytwoshoes · 12/02/2007 13:01

Up until quite recently my 2 dc were ok when we went out, but last few months they've been right sods when we are out to the point it's really embarrasing to the point i want the ground to swallow me up. iknow it's probably bordom so what do you do to make your kids behave when you're out???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

gingermonkey · 12/02/2007 16:19

Boarding school

MarsLady · 12/02/2007 16:22

Yes cali.... undoubtably!

jalopy · 12/02/2007 16:35

I can vouch for the 'marslady' eye and voice technique. Practice, practice, practice and you will be able to take them anywhere in public.

Californication · 12/02/2007 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/02/2007 19:54

I can vouch for the Marslady eye and voice technique....well, DS can

pinkbubble · 12/02/2007 20:01

I must admit to giving the look. They now know if they miss behave then when we get home they have to get ready for bed and then if their behaviour doesnt improve then I grad knock time off their normal bedtime. They do know I have a rule that they have to behave when we are out and they do on the whole respect this! Quite often if we are going somewhere really boring, then we do tempt them with "when we've finished here how about the seafront or the park etc."

wotzsaname · 12/02/2007 20:07

I have the LOOK (with raised eybrows)! 10 and 8yrs hate to be embarised in public!

deaconblue · 12/02/2007 21:06

My mum has "the look" too - it's called thin lips in our family. As in "look out Nanny's doing thin lips again"

fortyplus · 13/02/2007 08:58

Praise & reward them when they behave well - don't just nag them when they're naughty.
I started on mine as soon as they could sit unaided, whispering conspiratorially to point out other kids' bad behaviour and telling them how good they were not to do it.
And never ever take them shopping unless it's to choose their own clothes!

SSShakeTheChi · 13/02/2007 09:04

fattytwoshoes
what kind of things are they doing?

tortoiseSHELL · 13/02/2007 09:18

Bribe and threat, bribe and threat, bribe and threat, don't let up till you're safely on the way home!

I also do competitions (who is going to walk the best), but yours might be a bit old for that!

exbury · 13/02/2007 09:19

Find someone whose kids are behaving even worse and point them out to yours (in a whisper) - DS will always behave if it makes him look good in comparison to someone else

fortyplus · 13/02/2007 09:25

exbury - glad I'm not the only one taking advantage of other parents' misfortune!

becaroo · 13/02/2007 12:36

I agree with fortyplus about the shopping thing..kids HATE it and its so much easier either to do it on your own late night or online. I struggled for 2 years with my ds until I gave up and now do one online order a week and get the rest from the local shop. Has saved me such a lot of trauma. Ds wasnt being naughty as such, he has always hated crowds of people and the tannoy used to terrify him! As for other bad behaviour, I use bribery at the moment. He is 3 and too young to consider other peopls feelings or understand the outcome of his actions.

gingermonkey · 13/02/2007 13:02

silly people, you can't shop once you have children, shopping is for childless people and those on their lunch break

Muminfife · 13/02/2007 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Troutpout · 13/02/2007 13:40

beat them to a pulp when you get home?

Troutpout · 13/02/2007 13:42

Nah... errm
I give them specific jobs to find things/carry things... They can usually earn a comic or something and give them shed loads of praise.
errm and i only take them both when absolutely necessary

OrmIrian · 13/02/2007 14:37

DS#2 decided to play the role of little s*d when we were taking DS#2 and DD to school this morning (and my gawd he was good at it). So I employed several of the techniques suggested here. The look, the hissing voice and the 'let's see who can get to the end of the street first' thing....

Unforunately he didn't stop at the end of the street and ran across the main road . I'm raising a Forrest Gump!

gingermonkey · 13/02/2007 20:01

Run Forrest, Run!!! . He'd behave himself if he got knocked down, he wouldn't muck about again, would he??? Now there's a thought....

grouchyoscar · 13/02/2007 20:11

GM...my DS is the baby from the 'DINOSAURS'... he wil do something that invokes pain to him, take a moment to recover then go 'Again again'

ghostofjuliet · 13/02/2007 20:17

i used to work with deaf children and i know a little sign language if i have to i use it to let them know when i'm annoyed with them or that they should stop doing whatever they are doing etc

missymoosal · 13/02/2007 20:22

8+7 is plenty old enough to know how to behave.
Kids know your stress points and how to push them. At that age I would just walk away and ignore them. They are pushing boundaries and it is up to you as to how you deal with their bad behaviour.
I have 11 yr old twins and a 6yr old if they try it on in public they just need a look and I count to 3 if they keep on immediate consequences are taken the moment we get home. When I speak through gritted teeth they become instantly quiet! I can't remember the last time I had to do it.
You have to be consistant and follow through with any threat of reprimand or else they will not respect you.
It is a battle of wills that has to be won by you. Start now and don't give in even if it's really difficult as it is worth it.

foxabout2pop · 14/02/2007 07:00

Threats and bribery.

I always promise mine a treat if they behave themselves, which I find works as long as I can keep things moving so they don't have the chance to get bored - I also give them a running commentary e.g. "we're going to the doctors, then after that we'll go to the shops OK?" and "if you're both good, we'll get a treat on the way home", so they know what's planned and can look forward to it.

For the price of a bag of chocolate buttons it works for us!

JazzyGsMummy · 14/02/2007 08:36

Hiya, Not sure how I'd manage older children but with my dd (2 yrs) I involve her in the shopping. ask her how many bananas we need and get her to count them. I also ask her what I'm ptting into the trolley and make a game of it. usaully (money depending) she gets some sort of treat when we've finished shopping(colouring books, comic or similar) if I can't afford a treat then I always make a huge point of thanking her for being a good girl. if we're out for a meal or anywhere that she can sit down I always take colouring books with me in case she gets bored waiting for her food. this also made a recent train journey very pleasant (along with other books and spotting various things out of the window of the train) basically involve your children whenever you can.
pet shops also make a nice break between boring shops too
I very rarely have to tell my dd off at all when we're out. (not sure how long this will work for as she's only two)

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