Is it better to give your DC's sweet things so that they are not forbiden and they don't become become obssessed about them?

[josben]

My DS2 went to a party last weekend and when all the food came out he went straight for the choc biscuits and cakes. I know most children would've done this also but he was obsessively filling his plate with these things! I try not to give my DC's sweets or cakes but now i'm wondering if I'm right as his friends who seem to have unlimited sweet things at home, really didn't seem as bothered with the sweets or cakes...?? My Mum never allowed us sweets or choc when we were growing up and I must admit that I now have a really sweet tooth - (one of the reasons I don't have any sweet stuff in our house...)

I don't really understand the thought behind the treats though ? if you give your child a button for eating all their dinner, what kind of message is this ?

My DD would love to eat the haribo sweets but I won't let her & instead she has something else - but never because she has eaten her tea.

When they are so small they really need to eat good quality food - if that's homemade apple crumble & custard, after they've eaten as much as they want from their tea, then great, but I see no reason to use bribery to eat 'the good stuff'.

Agree not to forbid, but don't feed them crap & please don't believe that eating chocolate/sweets everyday is good for them, or going to benefit them in the long run.

We don't have sweets/cakes at home (unless its a special occasion - birthday, etc.). We allow all of this when out of the house though. That in itself limits the intake without making it totally forbidden. Toddlers in particular have such small stomachs that if they eat a couple of cookies, they won't have their food, so I have found it is important to not have such temptations at home, in order to ensure that they are hungry enough to eat a proper meal at meal times.

As to the question of whether this makes them into sugar addicts in the future, I think it's hard to say. Some people have a sweet tooth and some don't. I don't, and my dd1 doesn't either - I had sweet things always available as a child and she doesn't. She is very fussy about which cakes and sweets she will eat, even at parties/cafes/etc.

So, in brief: who knows whether it makes any difference in the long term. The sure thing is that in the short term, by limiting sweets, they end up eating more good food and developing a taste for a variety of flavours, be it instead of, or in addition to, their taste for sugar,

"please don't believe that eating chocolate/sweets everyday is good for them,or going to benefit them in the long run."

I don't, but then I don't believe it will harm them either.

sweets and cakes arent the same thing either. good cakes are far better value food than most sweets.

agree re the cakes thing. i make several types of cake which i have modified to contain virtually no added sugar (instead banana, carrot, date that kind of thing). my dd loves them and i am much happier knowing she is eating something a bit wholesome. imo you have to encourage enjoyment of food as well as an understanding of nutritional necessity. if your children are happy to eat all sorts of things they are likely to appreciate a tasty range of healthy foods. i am another failed no-sugar experiement myself - mum banned all sweets and fizzy drinks. one day i came back from a birthday party having eaten all the oragnge meringues and been sick