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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

More worries about DS1

45 replies

pinkchampagne · 04/02/2007 11:56

I have posted about my eldest son before.
He has dyspraxic traits, but even though there have been concerns from nursery age & the school now have him down under school action +, nobody seems to be in a hurry to get him referred.
I have spoken to both my HV & the school SENCO, but because there is lots going on at home atm, they don't feel the need to do anything yet.
I know that a proper diagnosis won't change anything, but he is in year 2 now & his problems seem far more noticable.
I worry about him so much & just don't know what I can do to help him.

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Original poster

pinkchampagne · 05/02/2007 20:37

No I know they are not qualified to diagnose DS, I just thought they may refer him on.
My HV told me that GP's normally wait for a referral from school, when I confronted her about it.
I am now adament I must get myself to the GP.
I get myself so upset about DS's difficulties, knowing somethings wrong, but not really being sure as to what.

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Hassled · 05/02/2007 20:49

My DS was diagnosed as Dyspraxic in Yr2 (he's now yr4) - that seems to be quite a common age for the problems to get really noticeable and worrying (like you, the school had first noticed difficulties in Reception). It took bloody ages to get a proper diagnosis - the problem is it is a medical condition, and can only be diagnosed by a medic (in our case, finally, by the community paediatrician). Our HV got DS referred to the Occupational Therapists, and the school got him seen by an Educational Psychologist, and between them and with a lot of persistence from me we got the Doctor's diagnosis - but as PinkChampagne says, the referral to the Paediatrician has to come from the GP, I think. Just having that letter saying "DS is Dyspraxic" made a huge difference to DS's self-esteem, and he stopped blaming himself for not being able to concentrate, poor handwriting etc., and is a much happier boy now because of it - it's worth persisting with.

Hassled · 05/02/2007 20:51

Oh yes, and the lap-top thing is fantastic - DS does most of his literacy on one that the school provides, and I made damn sure that "promoting typing skills" or something was in his IEP so there can't be any quibbles about it.

Kittypickle · 05/02/2007 21:03

I fully agree with everyone else on here. Make an appointment to see your GP with your list. DD is doing very well at the moment, struggling a bit with writing but she will be able to use a laptop if this doesn't improve. Socially things are going pretty well. But it is a bit of a rollercoaster and she wouldn't be doing anywhere as well as she is doing without the physio, OT, SALT, one on one with the SENCO etc. And things are being set up to help her with the transition to middle school when the time comes, ie Psychologist referral if she starts getting really stressed, OT & Physio on standby for further sessions if needs be etc.

Agree that the differences can become more pronounced in Year 2. The physio (we are lucky and have an excellent co-ordination clinic locally) warned me advance that this is the time that they often need to go back for extra help.

And actually just reading your OP, I thought if he was on School Action Plus then that meant that there was the involvement of outside agencies, though could be wrong about this.

Original poster

pinkchampagne · 05/02/2007 21:17

Hi kitty we have spoken before!
Glad to hear your DD is doing so well atm.
I am not aware of any outside agencies involved with DS. He was observed by someone outside school & is discussed during in school reviews, but that's about it.

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fortyplus · 05/02/2007 21:25

If it's any consolation - a friend has 11yo twins that I used to look after one day a week. I felt that one was dyspraxic (only because I'd read an article about it) but my friend didn't do anything about it. Then in yr1 the class teacher mentioned dyspraxia and got a referral.
It took 18 months for the child to be seen, by which time it was agreed that he had dyspraxic tendencies but was making such good progress that he didn't need specialist help, though he does still get some one to one extra tuition at school as his writing was very slow to develop. Strangely he could read fluently at an early age.
He's still got a few physical tendencies eg he still dribbles a lot, but he's a cheery child who seems to fit in ok. He particularly enjoys Scouts as there isn't the constraint of interacting with his peers in a classroom environment.
So although this message hasn't offered any practical help, hopefully it might help you feel a bit more positive.

Kittypickle · 05/02/2007 21:27

Hello pinkchampage She is only doing well because of the help she gets I think.

I was having a look about the School Action Plus and found this , not sure it helps a lot really as I guess that the school would say that whoever came to see him was the outside agency.

I think it's a bit convenient for the school to be blaming your homelife really, saves on their budget having to do more things - I know that is a bit cynical but I can't help feeling that with the changes of funding that have been going on that some people will try to cut corners where they can get away with it, and it's just not fair if it's your DS.

Amynnixmum had a nightmare with the school her DS started at when things went badly wrong. She contacted IPSEA who were pretty helpful I think. It might be an idea to have a chat with someone there for a bit of support as well.

Hassled · 05/02/2007 21:55

Another useful person can be the School Governor who has special responsibilities for Special Needs - there should always be one. It's quite often a parent governor, or at least someone with an interest, and if you feel the school management (the Head, etc) aren't giving your child the support they need, the SEN Governor might give your case an extra push.

Original poster

pinkchampagne · 05/02/2007 22:06

I've never really gone beyond the SENCO & class teacher at school TBH.
I don't like to keep hassling the teacher as to how he's doing in school, but have said to her that I would like to see her at some point this week, just to get a bit of an idea of what is going on in class.
Things are very stressful at home, which may not be helping DS's problems atm, but I am out of my mind with worry & want some kind of help.
I will sort out a list & make a GP appt ASAP.

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Original poster

pinkchampagne · 05/02/2007 22:11

Thanks for the links, kittypickle.

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Original poster

pinkchampagne · 06/02/2007 16:07

Spoke to DS's teacher today. She said he goes in waves, but that he has problems & will need a lot of support as he goes through the education system.
I kind of knew that was the case, but it's upsetting to hear.
It has spurred me on to feeling I really have to do something about it now.

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Kittypickle · 06/02/2007 22:36

It is hard to hear at first pinkchampagne. I think that is bad though that she has said that but no one is in a hurry to get him assessed.

Are you still feeling OK about going to the GP to get things moving ?

Original poster

pinkchampagne · 06/02/2007 22:41

I am, kitty, I think it really needs doing now.
The words I heard from his teacher were things that I guess I am pretty aware of, but hearing them out loud kind of upset me! Does that sound a bit bonkers??
I have been feeling quite tearful tonight!

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Kittypickle · 06/02/2007 22:53

Not bonkers at all and I really do feel for you. DS was about 6 weeks old when DD had her first parents evening in reception, after which I realised myself that there was a problem. I approached her teacher to get things moving, then spent about the next 6 weeks randomly bursting into tears.

It will get better, I promise, getting support makes the world of difference.

Original poster

pinkchampagne · 07/02/2007 15:17

It's hard isn't it?
I am going to the doctors with DS2, who has earache, later, so will mention DS1 then & see if I can get him referred.

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Original poster

pinkchampagne · 07/02/2007 18:27

Spoke to doctor today & she told me to come back with DS, as they like to actually see the child before referring them on.

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Kittypickle · 07/02/2007 18:38

You've started, well done. Also I would take a list of things that you feel are difficult for him and how that impacts on his life. You can just give it to them to have a read through so you don't need to discuss it in front of DS.

Original poster

pinkchampagne · 07/02/2007 18:45

Yes, I asked the GP if a list of his difficulties would be useful & she said it would. She also advised I bring another adult with me, who could take DS out of the room when needed.

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Fubsy · 07/02/2007 18:49

That sounds like theyre taking you seriously, which is a good start!

Original poster

pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 16:08

DS is on half term next week, so I will make an appt in the week.
He was playing with a group of children in the playground today, which was lovely to see, as he normally sits alone on a wall. I haven't seen him playing in a group like that for quite a while.

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