4 year old obsessed with food

[Sugar2]

Hi,
My 4yo daughter does not stop asking for food. I give her balanced meals and healthy snacks but she is obsessed and asks all the time for more. As soon as breakfast (porridge and toast and glass of milk) is finished she will ask for her vitamin. Just something else for her to eat. Then she will ask me what they are having for morning tea and ask to see it. Its usually fruit and crackers. Then she pesters me until it's time to eat it and then she wants more and more which I don't give and asks when is it lunchtime. If we are out with friends she tries to eat their food or wants to go home as she wants to eat at home. Most snacks are healthy but it's the constant obsession that is exhausting me. I can handle it day to day as I control what she eats and I keep it healthy. But I'm not over strict- I give her a little biscuit in her lunch box and we have ice cream once a week. She gets treats. But when it's a social thing it's awful- she goes nuts- At parties it's embarrassing. She won't play with other kids but just stands at the food table and I'm petrified what would happen if I wasn't there to supervise. People laugh at how much she eats and think it's good she has an appetite. But this is crazy. Only recently a friend had her for a morning and she said she now completely understands why I'm worried. My friend realised just how relentless she is. I know isn't hungry and it's more than that. Her mind does not stop thinking about food and I'm so worried for her future. She's not overweight but I can see her becoming like that as she's more on the bigger end and I keep her weight healthy as I manage her diet
It's starting to really be a problem and yesterday at a party I just started crying after she wouldn't leave the food table. She'd had 2 pieces of cake, a biscuit, packet of crisps, and wanted more. Every time a child came to get something she'd run up to and ask if she can have it also and why not. I'd explain its because they'd only had one thing or nothing so far whereas she'd had lots. But she'd just ask and ask or start crying. I hate it. She's such a bubbly personality and has lots of friends and is very sociable. I just don't know or understand this behaviour. It's a daily battle. My son is 2 and he's now starting to go the same and I'm sure is learning her behaviour.

Please people don't tell me just to offer healthy snacks as thus is what I do already. It's when we are at parties when I can't control the food that it's a huge problem. But also her mindset that bothers me- the complete obsession which I don't think is healthy. I'm thinking of going to GP but I can't imagine I'll get much help. She's not overweight and I'm sure won't understand how bad it is.

I'd love to hear from people who have been through something similar.
Thank you.

It's a bit of an old wives tale. Worms are so rare here at the level of infection that causes health problems that nobody really knows what they lead to and rolls it out every so often.

I will duly strike it from my list of second-hand information

Hi! Realize this is an old thread - but an update on what happened?? and if anything helped?? would be great. Have a dd that sounds exactly the same as the original poster... it all started when her baby brother was born so I realize it was prob emotional at a start.. but almost 2 years have passed and she is happy overall now and great.. but so obsessed with food and doesnt seem to be able to listen to her body at all. We have seen doctors but noone has any ideas on what to do. When out/at a party she eats so much that she cries later in the night because her belly hurts.. every time!

I would love to know if any update too @Sugar2?

My son is 3yo and sounds the same as you described. Food is a distraction from everything! Nutritionists here have advised to keep boundaries in place by giving a variety of foods and not restricting anything, but to place limits on helpings ie 2 helpings of each meal/course. This is in contrast to the Divison of Resposibility theory that suggests all kids can regulate if given the chance, but we've not done tried this...yet! It preoccupies our whole day, and I'll admit we've become anxious about what response we'll get every mealtime and how much its the focus for the whole day. Even though on the heavier side, the weight isn't the issue, its the preoccupation with food that worries us. Noone can eat around him as he'll want whatever that person has even after big meals, and social gatherings are the worst as he wont join in anything in the presence of food. I feel the pain @Kicki

Hi @parksue,
I actually messaged the original poster privately also and she replied that things are much better and that her daughter kind of just grew out of it - she wasn’t sure but maybe being in school helped (she is still interested in food etc. but more under control and not overweight at all). I hope this will give you some hope;) did for me!!

My daughter sounds exactly like your son and I am taking a similar approach to you and have not really tried the division of responsibility fully. Worried how overweight my daughter would become until she starts (if ever) to self regulate ;).

I encourage and reward eating slowly.. and give lots of healthy and low calorie food to try fill her up (but also let her have everything in moderation) and try to also talk about how some foods make you strong, quick etc. and some is not so good for you. I also talk about that we need to protect our teeth by not snacking all the time...

Not sure any of this really helps though - she told me yesterday that her favorite thing to do is eat and that she wants to do it all the time😂

Lets keep each other updated and please share if anything helps or changes!
I am longing for the day when I can go to a party and not worry about her...or have other parents comment on woow she ate 3 burgers🙈

Hi.
Yes as Kicki said things are a lot easier. I wanted to reply as it’s so helpful having someone gone through it reassure you it will all be fine.

I actually look back at that time and have to really try hard to remember how bad it was as it’s not really a part of our life anymore! Which is great! I now have 4 kids and my oldest is 9 and she’s the one I wrote the original post about. My 7 year old also followed a similar path and loved his food. My 4 year old can take or leave food... he’s the only one who ever says ‘I’m full!’ And the other is a baby so who knows!
But my 7 and 9 year old did eventually grow out of it. My 9 year i think was partly greed and partly comfort. But when school started and routines came into play there wasn’t as much time to eat and they got more into sports. They are still the greedy ones at a party or gathering and I have to keep telling them no more and everyone knows they’re the ones that love foods! . But I’m not concerned the way I was and I never worry about it.. my 9yo if anything is pretty skinny and I keep thinking I need to get more protein and muscle into her. My 7yo is a healthy weight but he’s so sporty- he doesn’t stop running so he needs the calories.
I keep them active and they do various team sports and we go for runs which they enjoy. Mainly enjoy for the reward at the end!
I do recall it’s hard at the time but I would say try not stress. It sounds like you’re doing the right things with offering healthy options as well as treats. I don’t think it’s until they’re a bit older they understand good and bad foods properly but no hard in trying! My kids would eat so many apples and still do.
I hope this helps! Good luck!

And my kids would also say that their favourite thing is to eat- eat and you tube! But I’d say most of their friends would also say the same.
I think it’s more apparent when they’re little as many kids have no interest in food... but this changes and I don’t think they’re that different to their peers now.

Just wondered if you saw any improvement @Sugar2 we have very similar issues here and thought we were the only ones !

@parksue did things get any better for you? I’m so worried about my 3 yo

Huge improvement! My daughters now 12 and she’s super healthy and super sporty! Both her and my son love their food but they have a good balance and do so much sport that they need it to refuel. They’re very healthy weights and I can confirm I didn’t need to worry!

Thanks so much @Sugar2 was there any technique you used that helped when they were younger? Thanks for giving me some light at the end of the tunnel

Not really I’m afraid! I would try and guide them to make healthy choices when they were young but it was hard. As they started school and got into sport it became less of a big deal. Parties changed as they get older so it went from party food always being left lying around to more ‘activity’ parties and then food after so it became less of a thing…. And as they got into sport they started to change. They did get into sport early which was their choice I’d probably encourage that!