Positive parenting for a 13m old - please remind me what I'm supposed to be doing

[baubleweed]

I had sooooo many good intentions. I wasnt going to say no all the time. I was going to babyproof so that dd wasnt constantly grabbing things I didnt want her to have.

But then dd turned out to be the way she is - into absolutely everything - every cupboard, every drawer, every table. She wants to grab, hold and eat everything - shoes, phones, remotes, pens, cats, books, ornaments, pictures on the wall, bins - the lot.

I find myself saying about 30 times a day 'Not in Your Mouth' because she chews books and cardboard and paper and shoes. I have put my foot down regarding books because they are special and not to be destroyed, but when she wants to read one of her board books and then starts to chew it she knows she is doing something I dont like and keeps doing it.

Remotes and phones and ornaments are out of her reach on shelves but she tries to grab them when I am using, or when I am carrying her past them. She wants the pen out of my hand if I so much as write a shopping list or an envelope.
She has started banging heavy toys against the tv screen or against wooden furniture.

So its constant tantrums all the time and I am sick of constantly saying 'ah ah ah ah' or 'no' or 'come away' or 'give that back to mummy'.

Distraction doesnt seem to work - she sees straight through it unless it has real novelty value. Please remind me what I am supposed to be doing to protect my property / her safety but not turn into a nagging negative parent from hell?

Ds has a black eye thismorning. I am assuming from his table climbing but am not aware when he banged it as the child has a pain threshold of an elephant! Can you imagine the looks i got im the playground thismorning???? Poor little boy!

these stories of toddler house-wrecking have made me laugh tonight - especially yours joshandjamie

oh yes chocolaterobin the sky card does get pulled out, and the other day she used the remote and got very close to purchasing an adult movie

I dont see it as 'naughtiness' either by the way - she is exploring and is a very physical child, very much a doing person rather than a watching person

I dont think she is lacking in my attention - she gets loads, and oftentimes when I do sit down for full-on one to one she toddles off rather than playing with the toy/thing in front of us.

filyjonk and corriedale you have hit totally the right note with me - I need to just let alot of it go and ignore

anyone know how you teach them to have an attention span of more than one second? eg enough to finish reading a small board book or do a basic lift-out jigsaw? she roves round moving so quickly from one thing to the next that every single toy is out of the box but none particularly played with! should I have less toys within her reach?

Hi, I agree with everyone. She is not being naughty, she does not know that you don't want her to do things and what she is doing is not only normal but healthy and essential for her development.
Also, board books are meant to be chewed! That's why they are board books, not flimsy paper ones! Please let her chew them. babies use their mouths to find information about things, just as you use your eyes and hands.

When you say, today's mischief included:

• repeatedly reaching for the hot tap in the bath even though I have constantly taught her 'hot' as an instruction not to touch (she won't really understand an instruction not to touch, and her need and instinct to experiment is very strong. You know that the hot tap is not only hot, but always hot. She doesn't. For her development she needs to try things out like a scientist and realise they are always the same)
• chucking the toilet roll into the toilet along with some clothes (she is checking the splash and enjoying the throwing action that makes things fly)
• braying on the tv screen with a golf ball (she is testing the sound and the feel of the objects)
• pulling shoes out of the shoe cupboard abd picking mud off the bottom and eating it (well, how else will she know what it tastes like!)
• tipping water out of her sippy cup all over the table and carpetted floor into a huge puddle (she is discovering the properties of water - it pours, it splashes, it wets - clever little scientist)
• chewing books and dvds and the post (her mouth is very sensitive. She is only 13 months and knows very little about objects yet. She is finding out about their shape, texture, size and taste)

It's all totally normal and all you can do is let her do stuff that is harmless, put away things that are dangerous and have a very big glass of wine in the evenings!

Good luck!

The longer attention span just comes with time. Four weeks ago DS would sit on my knee for 1 page of a story. Now, he'll happily go through two books with me. We haven't done anything to try and encourage this - it just comes. I do think though that not too many toys is a good thing, also rotating them.

[CD surveys the proliferation of toys on the floor from the two boxes currently out, and realises that she might want to start practising what she preaches.]

weather kiddies are 13 months or 13 years the behaviour is simimlar arghhhhhhhhhhhhh its hell some days in our house always walking on egg shells incase we spark him off he nearly 13 and he horrid most days

it my first day on here and not know wat ds and dd mean please

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