14 month old DS no words or actions yet?

[RattleAndRoll]

Should I be worried?

DS is coming up to 14 months. He doesn't say any words yet. He babbles and makes lots of sounds. Sometimes he says sounds that would pass as mum or yes but they're never in context. So I don't think these are on purpose. He understands words like no(and stops what he's doing), kiss(leans in to kiss me), dummy(looks around for one), step(looks down and lifts foot). He understands that if I open the front door he's not allowed to go out, he puts his arms up to be picked up (we live in a flat so I carry him down the stairs). He understands if I have a plate of his that he is going to be eating and needs to go in his highchair, so goes to it.

He doesn't yet point, showing no signs of doing so anytime soon. He has recently started showing signs of waving/clapping ie sometimes, not often, you wave to him he'll raise a hand but not really do anything else. Sometimes when he's excited his hands go together but not in a rhythmic clapping way just random hits.

I wasn't at all worried until I just read on here that a baby the same age says lots of words and says poo poo when they need to poo. He's not even talking yet, let alone verging on potty training and understanding when he needs to go to the toilet. So now I am worried.

We didn't go to playgroups until the last couple of months so I'm wondering if this has slowed his development down as I wasn't singing nursery rhymes and actions with him, we just played. Then around 1 year I started with wind the bobbin and if you're happy and you know it etc. and then started going to groups (only 2 a week).

Should I be worried?

Okay I could only read half of these posts .... I have a son with severe autism and one with high functioning ...
This kid is 14 months .... As long as he can pick up a brick and stack .... That's all that is expected .... Stay away from SN forums ... They will worry you. You have s baby .... They all do different things at different rates ..... My daughter could speak sentence by 16 months but my friends child of the same age couldn't say much .... He can now !!!

Seriously scare mongering here .... If your worried see you HV and do get a hearing test.... Do remove the dummy !! It will cause delays as they can't be arsed to speak with it in!!!!
Enjoy your baby ... Soon he'll be 8 and won't shut up xxx

I've been trying to word a reply all day. I think I want to say parental concern is imo reason enough to get referrals. At 14 months a lot of the skills are still emerging which is why I think 18 months is the more usual cut-off.

That said any loss of skill (such as your babble-pause conversations) with a so far absence of engaging with you and trying to engage you, lack of gestures and no speech would likely be of interest to a SALT. I wouldn't be surprised if they still put you off until he is 18 months though.

I'm not suggesting referrals out of scaremongering, I am guilty of having a DC who I waited a bit too long to raise concerns over and wasted a lot of time trying to disprove my own observations via Google(!) There really is no substitute for a professional assessment inc hearing.

Our local SALT Dept have an online form you can complete and I got a call back v quickly (though I had another form to return via post). The wait for an assessment is about 12 weeks here.

Glad you've got an appointment, and hopefully all will be well. Fwiw my DS didn't say his first word till about 17 montgs which was comfortably within the developmental window given in the old NHS 0-5 book (which was brilliant but which sadly I don't think they hand out anymore - it had a double page diagram of developmental milestones and the normal range of ages within which they took place, and was really reassuring because you could immediately see it wasn't a case of "x months exactly, should be crawling now. ")

I think you're doing absolutely the right going to the GP for reassurance but I'm pretty hopeful given what you've said about responding to his name, looking at objects when you draw his attention to them, that he'll turn out to be fine. Good luck tomorrow.

It is almost impossible for us to judge based on not having seen you boy. Your earlier post seemed to suggest he was doing a range of things which sounded like good social interaction:

Sometimes I'll feel eyes burning into the back of me and I'll look at him and he's staring at me and as soon as my eyes meet his he lights up and gives a massive smile. He also looks at me & what I'm holding/pointing to if I say 'what's this?' If I call him from another room he'll come find me. If I hide and call him he'll come find me. He plays peek a boo from behind a blanket. I really wasn't worried until I read that other post!

A lot of the things from your last post sound entirely typical - I don't think I've ever met a toddler that doesn't make a beeline for an iPhone!

Truly losing a skill is a potential cause for concern but I think it is quite usual for skills to be more apparent at some points than others as they go through phases of repetition whilst learning and seemingly enjoying practicing something new.

What you have said about lack of social interaction may be worth further investigation, even if just to out your mind at rest, but try not to stress about it

Hi everyone. Thanks again for taking time you write replies to me. Sorry it's another long one, trying to answer questions above.

Got questionnaires from HV in post today.

Can somebody help me write short or long! passage that I can hand in with these questionnaires I've been sent as they won't be looking at them whilst I am there. I've made notes on them with those main points that a few of you think I should highlight.

He completely fails the personal social/communication/problem solving sections on these questionnaires. Answer is no to everything.

To the poster who said as long as he's stacking (I assume you mean one toy block put on top of another?) he doesn't do that. It's asked that in these questionnaires, and the answer is no he can't stack toys.

Toys he likes to play with - rattles, toys with doors/switches, Bead-y toys, balls, books with flaps/textures, things that squeak, electronic toys with buttons to press.

Doesn't like duplo, wooden bricks, stacking cups, soft toys, anything that vibrates. Doesn't do any imaginative play (not sure if he's meant to be yet?) like holding a phone to his ear.

Tbh he prefers playing with keys, plastic water bottles, remote controls, my phone, plug sockets, light switches, drawers, cupboard doors, baby gate, glasses (those you wear and those you drink from), TV buttons, clothes airer, dvd player, pram wheels, etc. He has loads of different toys so it can't be that he doesn't find any of them exciting.(I hope)

Today we went to the farm and he ignored every animal (even when goats are jumping up at the fence he's standing at )but instead played with gravel, woodchip/bark, fences, benches, gates, chicken wire etc.

I've noticed today he doesn't answer his name if he's engrossed in something. I can repeat his name over and over, say it louder, then whistle/clap etc and it takes forever for him to turn to me, yet other times I just say his name once and he turns to me immediately. Is that normal?

Are hearing issues hereditary? I wasn't concerned about his hearing but now I'm not sure. My db had glue ear at birth, had had deafness throughout his life, he's had grommets 4 times. But this was picked up within the first month or so of life, not at 14 months iyswim? I'm going to call GP tomorrow and see if the doctor who saw us Tuesday will refer us to hospital for a test or if I need to see him again. (The wait for a hearing test according to our hospital website is 15 weeks!)

No he doesn't do the shared / joint interest thing. I try to get him exited about things but if he doesn't want to see it/play with it he doesn't, he just continues what he's doing. Doesn't bring me toys. Doesn't look at me when he sees something new/exciting/whilst playing. Doesn't look for any recognition/excitement from me. I noticed earlier a friends 5 month old was watching beads go round a toy and every couple of seconds looked back at his mum then went back to the beads then eyes looked at mum. I don't know if DS has ever done this with me, he doesn't now but I don't know if he ever did. I've never looked out for it before.

I've looked up aspergers today but I need to stop overloading my brain with stuff. I don't really know anything about any kind of special needs/delays/disorders etc so autism just was the first thing I've googled and read up on. I've no idea if it's likely, or if there's a zillion other things it could be, I just have no clue. All I know is there's quite a few things on autism checklists (and now aspergers) that I can relate to (but also things I can't as well).

No call back from salt still. Will write an email out at the weekend if they still haven't called. If our wait is of sinilar length to the poster above ie 12 weeks, is that 12 weeks after he is 18months (If they don't take him on til then) or will they take him on in a month so it falls around the 18mpnth mark? Does that make sense?

Salt waiting times vary. we waited 3 months for an assessment and then another 9 months to start therapy (DCs delays were assessed as severe).

The interest in toy types sounds perfectly normal to me based on my DS and other babies I know. My DS has only started stacking one block on another block very recently.

I think the 'selective hearing' is normal too - common complaint amongst parents of toddlers!

I don't think lack of imaginative play is an issue at this age. Some children have started showing an interest in dolls/soft toys, others haven't.

It is the way you are now describing the social interaction which sounds worth investigating further. I would however say that this aspect of my DSs behaviour has become markedly more obvious in last few weeks due to him pointing and vocalising - he still did some similar stuff before but it really went up a gear just after 14mo.

I have to say he does sound similar to my ds at that age - lack of shared attention, repetitive "playing" (eg
dropping things, walking round table etc), lack of pointing. My ds also did a hissing noise. This all might be totally normal and fine. But you are obviously concerned enough to notice differences from other toddlers you've seen, and these things are important in a toddler, along with impaired interaction and the lack of back-and-forth playing you mentioned. The talking/language not so much at this age, but non-verbal communication and interaction is very important. Have you tried the m-chat test? Worth doing (you can find it on google).

I posted a very similar post seven years ago when my ds was similar age (prompted by lack of pointing), in this very section. Most of the responses said he sounded just like a 'normal' toddler. I also posted in SN section and got different responses from parents with children with ASD, who said they could see similarities. My ds was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3. Please listen to your gut instinct, and take him back at say 16 months if you feel he is the same. As pp say, you have nothing to lose by getting him assessed further. It's great you're so alert to this now when he's so young. He may well be absolutely fine, but if there's a small
Chance not, you are already on a great path to getting him early intervention which could make a massive difference to him (if he needs it).

Do go to the SN board too if you want more advice. You don't have to worry that going on that board means that it is a certainty you need to be there (iyswim) but just that there is a huge amount of great advice to be gleaned from posters there

Re SALT, I would see if the HV can refer, based on the questionnaire they've sent you they may have a fast-track system. Some areas run SALT drop-in clinics (mine doesn't) so it's impossible to say how things are managed in your region. Another option would be to get a private SALT assessment but these can be £££.

I wouldn't have thought you'd need too much detail in your letter, reiterate you're aware he is young but you are concerned at 1) lack of gestures and speech
2) lack of shared/joint attention

I'm not sure on name response - the level of engrossment is possibly on the less usual side for such a young child. Again, the lack of interest in the jumping goat could be significant but also could be typical toddler.
I'm not the most knowledgeable on glue-ear, but my understanding was that it is common through the toddler years and can develop at any time. Definitely mention your DBs hearing issues though.

As ASD is dx based on a collection (or absence) of behaviours the Internet is a bit top-heavy with examples which you can stumble across via Google. Just be wary of the confirmation-bias effect with it. Lougle's post of 08.39am is worth a re-read.

My DS is 10 months old and can say a few words, points to things, knows words we say, claps, listens, makes vowel sounds. My friend's little girl at 18 months had no words, just the odd gibberish noise. At 24 months she has loads of words and never stops talking. And her speech is quite clear and correct.

I wouldn't worry. Babies are just different and things happen very quickly once they start.

FWIW when DD1 was assessed for her Statement, she was considered 'at least age appropriate' in some areas. Children, even with SN, do not always develop uniformly, so they will have areas of relative) strength and weakness. DD1's expansive knowledge of colours didn't compensate for her weakness in other areas, and despite now having a relatively expansive vocabulary, she still needs specialist schooling and will do for her whole school life.

Just to update
I filled in forms and went to drop into clinic for HV but asked at reception if I could speak to her quickly. So she popped down and quickly flicked through forms with me and agreed there was something not quite right. She has given me a list of salt drop in clinics as she'd like me to attend one (this will be Wednesday morning). She said she wants me to go back to GP to get referred for a hearing test as she can't refer and salt will ask for that to be ruled out. She said she will most likely refer him to a paediatrician but she needs to go through the form properly and get his scores. She said she'd do this and give me a call next week. This was about 1pm yesterday. I then started work at 3 and came out to 3 missed calls from her starting from just after 3pm until 4.30pm and a voicemail asking me to call her back before 5pm to discuss his score and forms. I'm so bloody pissed off I missed the calls! Why was she calling so soon? I'm going to try the clinic today but I'm pretty sure it doesn't open.
Has anybody been to a drop in session? What should I expect?

well, it is good that she is proactive rather than not getting back as promised . hopefully you will get all the referrals in place soon.

never been to a drop in clinic but image it is just like a 'normal' Salt appointment but shorter and more to see if more detailed assesments/support are needed.

Hope you hear back soon but just my opinion based on my 3 kids - he sounds absolutely within the normal range of abilities. Trust your instincts .... by that I mean that before you read about what another child of the same age was doing you weren't worried. Remember that. I know kids who spoke in sentences by 12mth. Others who didn't speak till 3. Also lots of other things you mention. My son and my dd2 were exactly the same as your baby at that age. Don't compare to other babies but focus on yours and if your instinct is that something doesn't feel right then you must follow it up. It's normal for toddlers not to react to their names when they're absorbed in an activity - their brains have not developed to cope with 2 things at the same time. If I read an autism or SN checklist I'm sure I could rattle off lots of things that might suggest red flags but my instincts tells me that my kids are following normal development.

OP - do your best not to google things - the Internet (and mumsnet also) can't know all the ins and outs of your child and if you are reading things that are worrying you, it won't help. Force yourself to relax - it's great you have already engaged RL professionals to help.

givemewine the key thing is indeed, as you say, is to follow your instinct.

But in this case the OPs instinct is telling her something really is different for her ds, and I for one think she's definitely doing the right thing to follow up on this.

I'm glad to hear your progress Op, hope you get to speak to the HV on Monday.

I can't really remember what it was about my DS1 exactly had me concerned at 14 months, but I do distinctly remember googling signs of autism. Unfortunately my searches didn't bring me to mumsnet. So my googling continued on until I finally braved asking my HV for referrals when he was 22 months. Even that didn't go as it should but that's a story for another place!

It's sensible advice not to over-Google but I found it pretty impossible to follow as the nagging doubt was just too overwhelming.