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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Anyone using the Baby Whisperer method of getting baby to sleep?

48 replies

cruisemum1 · 18/11/2006 08:48

My ds now 10 weeks is reluctant to go to bed in his cot without first being rocked and/or bf to sleep. He usually crashes out by 10pm after two or three failed attempts at putting him in his cot (sometimes awake, sometimes already asleep)I am starting to get very frustrated now as I have a dd age 8.5yrs who needs me too! Any advice/suggestions/tips? I cannot/would not leave him to CIO as it is not fair on anybody (including dd who needs to get up for school at 7am) HELP!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fizzbuzz · 29/11/2006 20:27

It's in the bible....Wait outside door, or go in just before dd wakes up.
At the first stir, shove dummy back in if needed and commence patting and shushing toute suite not even a seconds delay. DD should settle back, but if not you are meant to carry on patting until the end of alloted nap time.(yawwwn what about my naptime, I hear you ask)

DD still wakes up sometimes after 30 mins and it is still a pain, and sometimes wakes up 30 mins after that!

Remember speed is of the essence, and she who hesitates is lost, get into that nursery pronto at first sign of a rustle or nap is gone forever!

Jam77 · 29/11/2006 20:48

lol....You must have a hidden camera on me, watching me hovering outside the nursery door I try the whole dummy back in thing, but I must be leaving her to wake too much, btw how is the dummy in the night going?

Seoulmum · 30/11/2006 14:18

Still trying to crack the BW routine. Like others nighttime DD wakes and then resettles in her cot but only naps for 45 mins during the day. If I want her to nap longer then I have to hold her in my arms.
She wouldn't sleep in her cot at all until we put the mattress on an angle - she has mild reflux - but didn't seem to have a problem when sleeping in our bed.
Finding it difficult to put her down awake though and shush/patting her to sleep. As soon as she's put down in her cot she's wide awake and won't tolerate shush/patting. I've since read in the BW book that touchy babies aren't keen on that technique - I wish she'd written that in the sleep section that mentions the technique and not another chapter!
At least we're following a routine though. Hopefully in a couple of weeks we'll master the art of putting her down awake and getting her to sleep. Thinking positively and keeping my fingers crossed.

Jam77 · 30/11/2006 14:29

Good luck Seoulmum, it is hard and I am part of the 45 minute nap club! DD is currently upstairs now as I try to get her to take a proper nap.

fizzbuzz · 30/11/2006 21:08

What I want to know is why don't hv suggest things like this? It really pisses me off that I have to fork out for the book, when they get paid to advise us.

Seoulmum · 01/12/2006 10:57

Thanks Jam77. Nice to know others are in the same boat. Feels a bit like the Titanic sometimes!
Fizzbuzz, have to agree. You shouldn't need to buy a book to find this stuff out. It should be mandatory for all pregnant women to be given this info. This is our first child and it's been overwhelming. I know our DD would have been a happier babe from the start had my DH and I known about routines and sleep. We thought babies slept when they were tired, we didn't know we had to teach her how.
If there is a next time at least we'll be better informed.

LRWG · 01/12/2006 12:11

Agree about the HVs. I actually have an okay/good one but do have a bugbear with her regarding DD's feeding. From day one she has written in DD's red book that I am "feeding on demand" when she knows damn well that I've had a routine - started by the hospital - since the day she was born!! Why is it that HVs feel the need to get babies to tick the boxes, and will even ignore the fact that one's doing differently?

Jam77 · 01/12/2006 18:01

LW my HV has done that! she knows I'm not feeding on demand

Blaggingit · 02/12/2006 21:52

I have been using the Baby Whisperer for my ds and really feel that it helped to sort out our sleeping issues. He is now 7 months and sleeps very well. Regarding the 45min naps, we used a dummy to get him back to sleep and also found this very useful. He never cries for his dummy as we only give it to him in "times of need" so we could take it away at any time and he wouldn't cry for it.

I also agree with all that has been said re HV - I really wish they could have helped with some guidance about routines because as soon as we established one, we found it so much easier to determine what he was crying for ie food, sleep etc.

ellanevemum · 02/12/2006 22:41

I have really found the BW sleep advice helpful. it worked a treat with dd1 but dd2 just took a lot longer to settle into aroutine. I think there must be some developmental diferences between little ones that mean some are just able to adapt to routine from birth whereas others need longer to sort them selves out.

I religiously followed all BW suggestions but Dd2 was 4 1/2 before she would sleep in the day at all. At 7 months she is the best sleeper in the world, day and night! If your baby doesn't get with the programme right away don't be too hard on yourself and your baby... just try again in a few days. definitely try again though. The general principles are spot on.

cheritongirl · 05/12/2006 21:18

i have been using the BW with my first LO (nearly 4 weeks) and everyone keeps saying we have such a content baby and i'm sure its down to having started off with some sort of routine - so yes it has been good! Totally agree that it is crazy for HV's to be so anti-routine - there must be a reason but i can't think what it must be!

redfea1 · 06/12/2006 16:13

Hi,
Just posted a message very similar to this one, really pleased to read Sakuras message as I have been out and about alot in the daytime with DS sleeping well, but started to feel guilty since reading BW so been trying to put him to sleep in moses basket which he is not reacting well to. Like alot of the other messages I have found BW good at night, although do find ds will cry for about 30 seconds now before settling. But can't get it to work in daytime, been trying shhs pat but now starting to think i will go back to being mobile in the day and letting ds sleep on the move and keep to bw at night!

KatieMW · 06/12/2006 16:36

Totally understand! Had been carting baby round everywhere with lots of daytime sleeping and felt guilty so started routine at 8 weeks. Has made me feel more in control and that am prioritising baby more (although no idea if he's noticed...!)
However, HV thinks routine is bad and won't work, which is very confusing.
Therefore so heartening to read messages re HVs advice. Thank you

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 06/12/2006 19:25

re: hv's advice.... my ds won't take a dummy or, more worrying, a bottle, even if it is ebm. When i asked my hv for advice she ummed and aahed and then said "you could try giving it to him on a spoon." I was gobsmacked! . How time consuming and impractical is that?! i'm sure any potential babysitter would be thrilled at the prospect of a screaming hungry 12 week old baby having to be fed by a spoon!!!

OP posts:

Jam77 · 06/12/2006 19:51

On a spoon!!!! oh cruise as if!! My friend had the same, she breastfed and DS wouldn't take a bottle - in the end her DH had to do it, her DS got hungry but could smell her breast milk so wouldn't take it from her, plus she got a bottle that DS had to really suck on to get milk, more like the breast I guess - anyhoo her DS did (after a small battle of wills) start to take from a bottle....a spoon...nice one!

worleywinterwonderland · 06/12/2006 21:09

hi, can someone advise which book to get, the secrets of the baby whisperer OR the baby whisperer solves all your problems? they are both by the same lady but i wondered which one most people were using?
i have a 5 month ds2 who still wakes normally every 3 hours for bf, he has gone up to 6 hours (rarely) and sometimes was every1.5 hours when on a spurt. im going tback to work in 4 weeks so i really need to some decent sleep before starting back!
he does have a dummy, which he doesnt always want, and seems to nod off himself at 7.30ish but then is totally unpredictable at which times he will wake at.
thanks

DontlookatmeImshy · 06/12/2006 21:19

www get the Solves all your problems book, the other one ismore for getting very young babies on a routine.

Jam77 · 06/12/2006 21:30

I agree - the sloves all your problems one covers loads....Tracy Hogg (the BW) wrote it knowing she was dying and so wanted to write one book that covers everything...

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 06/12/2006 21:38

Actually, even though I started this thread I have yet to purchase her book! Glad I waited as I would have got the other one. Also, there is a male BW. Anyone got any scoop on him??? Gotta go, both babes in bed and I'm watching Love Actually and drinking wine. Bliss

OP posts:

okeydokeygirl · 07/12/2006 23:49

I used Tracy Hogg Baby Whisperer book from when my DD was about 4/5 weeks. Mainly because i hadn't got round to reading it before then. I have pretty much followed ALL her methods sinc then and I have found them to be invaluable. My DD is now 21 months and I still refer back to the books - all 3 of them for various issues - and everytime they have come up trumps for me and DD. The only thing I never did was put DD in her own room from day 1 but when I did choose to do this at 3 months it all went brillantly. I would say that although you don't have to stick to rigid routines for ever, I found it useful to stick to a good routine to start off with but not so rigid that I was to the minute - that is not what she says anyway - she does allow for some flexibility. Also, it is definatley worth following her methods for all aspects of childcare as they really feed into each other - at the very least make sure you read the first 3 chapters of 'The Baby Whisperer' to make sure you understand her basic principles. You can then choose what you feel is appropriate for you. It is also worth noting that she wrote 'The BAby Whisperer' then the 'Toddler' one, THEN 'BW solves all your problems'. In the latter she revises some of her earlier theories (eg on potty training) in the Toddler book so just be aware of that.

Seoulmum · 20/12/2006 09:52

Woo Hoo!!! Finally able to get DD to sleep in her cot when we put her down awake - doesn't always work mind you and doesn't always take 20 minutes to settle her, sometimes can take an hour or more. Slowly but surely we're getting there. 2 steps forward and 1 back.
Regarding naps, I downloaded a rainstorm mp3 - sounds a bit like white noise - and with that playing she'll often sleep for an hour and a half, today she slept for 2 hours! SOMETIMES, she'll also settle herself to sleep listening to it. Beats saying "shhhh" for upwards of 20 mins! If it's a "prop" and I'm accidental parenting then I can live with it.
Hope everyone else is making some progress with their LO's sleep. It's so stressful when they won't/can't sleep.

fizzbuzz · 20/12/2006 11:30

I have found the book TOO successful. Spent what seemed like years getting dd to nap properly, patting back to sleep, and it all worked fanatstically. However now have another problem: Dd will ONLY sleep in cot. and nowhere else.

Went Xmas shopping yesterday, and ds determindly stayed awake for 3 hours in pram, despite normally napping all afternoon.
She will not sleep in car, or on anyone else-just in her cot. You can't win!

Seoulmum · 20/12/2006 12:18

Fizzbuzz you can't win! I keep saying to DH "Once we've sorted this we just need to do ..... and everything will be great." I never realised how much work babies can be. On the plus side she's started giggling, she's 9 weeks, and that makes everything worthwhile.

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