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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Ended up sitting on kitchen floor crying..

48 replies

bobobobs · 08/11/2006 16:52

my ds, 4 yrs, is really testing my patience. nothing i say or do is good enough, his whinging wld test the patience of a saint and he bursts into sobbing at the drop of a hat, esp in public.
today has been a really bad day, and just needed to vent on here.have a dd, 3 yrs, and she is watching and learning from his behavior so need to stop this getting out of hand.
don't know what i expect from you lovely mnetters, maybe just tea and sympathy?!

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MrsBojangles · 10/11/2006 07:39

oh and for those suggesting earlier bedtimes (which probably would be a good thing for dd and ds) ...HOW DO YOU DO IT!?

3littlefrogs · 10/11/2006 07:48

The key with earlier bed times is to understand that you have to start the winding down process at least an hour and a half before hand. No noise, no overstimulation - switch the telly off. Early tea, relaxing bath - do the bath before the last meal if it helps. Then a nice quiet story and bed. Anything you are trying to get done should be left till after they are in bed. I know from long experience that the very fact that you are trying to do anything, simply ups the ante and they get wound up competing for your attention.
Once they go into overdrive - overstimulated and overtired, you've lost the moment and they will keep going for another couple of hours until exhaustion sets in. Once overtired, they don't sleep so well and wake up too soon, and very grumpy. HTH

MrsBojangles · 10/11/2006 08:02

3frogs thanks I'll try ... 'they will keep going for another couple of hours until exhaustion sets in. Once overtired, they don't sleep so well and wake up too soon' describes ds to a t He gets his tea at nursery at 1600 and I usualy try and get food into him at 1800 usually without success... generally have dinner with dd then and try winding down process. Unfortunately dh has been coming home late the last 2 weeks so bedtime has slipped even further. As for turning off TV... now how do I get dh to cooperate? He's as much a tv addict as the children... hmmm maybe the prospect ofa good nights sleep will do the trick

3littlefrogs · 10/11/2006 08:10

You have to enlist dh's support - I had to get my dh to come home after they were settled. He couldn't get home before bed time, and kept arriving just as they had got into bed - cue everybody up and excited again. It was causing so many behavioural problems i was getting depressed. Trouble is men just can't grasp this concept - they just want to come home and play with their kids. Once they see that everybody is nicer and happier, they accept that they get more quality time at weekends and you get some relaxation at the weekends to recuperate. It is only for a couple of years - (he will be going out to rescue them at 1.00 am soon enough, when they've missed the last bus, then doing a 10 mile round trip to drop off all their friends).

Original poster

bobobobs · 10/11/2006 09:53

Mrs BJ - don't worry about hijacking, we're all in this together!
my ds has been thin too (but tall) and whilst he has always been robustly healthy, i too have worried that if he doesn't eat enough, he will waste away, hence giving in to whatever he wanted to eat in preference to "proper" food.
but like you, i am going to be a lot stricter about this, dd went to bed without much tea last night because she refused point blank to eat my home made efforts. said it was "YUK"! so all she had was brocolli and a drink of milk. and she is none the worse for it this am..am going to cook up a storm and stock the freezer! children beware...
ps as for getting the kids to bed, 3litlefrogs's advice is top, turn tv off (i caused a riot when i dared to do so yesterday!), devote your time to them and stay calm yourself..grit those teeth and smile!! good luck let us know how you get on

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MrsBojangles · 10/11/2006 12:02

oh boy not sure whether I like my name shortened that way

Oh I get the yuk to cooking efforts too BEFORE dd even tried it! but I have a magical solution... tomatoe sauce

I shall brace myself for 3 upset children tonight when I turn tv off at 17:30 (3rd one being dh0

3littlefrogs · 10/11/2006 16:26

I used to find they were too tired to eat a big tea - but I could make up for that by giving them porridge, eggy bread, baked beans, sausages etc for breakfast. It doesn't really matter when the food goes in - aim for a fairly nourishing intake over the course of a week - and if they don't eat at one meal - they just wait for the next.

MrsBojangles · 10/11/2006 21:27

tv was supposed to be off at 1800 but 'eldest child' (yup dh) had a wobbly and turned it off at 1700... ok it still took 1.5h to calm & settle children but that way ds was in bed by 18:30 and dd at 1900! And I fell asleep too LOL 'eldest' hasn't spoken to me yet. WTF as if tv is the only thing one can do... argh

Original poster

bobobobs · 10/11/2006 21:27

how did your bedtime routine go tonight, mrs bo-j? (that's better than bj, sorry!)

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Original poster

bobobobs · 10/11/2006 21:28

x posted, you read my mind!

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Original poster

bobobobs · 10/11/2006 21:30

that is fab! mine were asleep by 7pm too, just hope they don't decide to wake up at 4.30am thinking it's morning!

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3littlefrogs · 10/11/2006 22:14

Why is it that some men find it so hard to behave like grown-ups, even after they become parents? Yet, for the majority of women, it is natural to take the wider view and put their children's needs first. I can't imagine ever putting my desire to watch TV ahead of the needs of partner and children. Is that too harsh a judgement?

MrsBojangles · 11/11/2006 08:47

no it's not too hard a judgement LOL it's so true! then again I'm married to a drama queen who keeps telling me the only one going to potentially 'grow up' is dd!

MrsBojangles · 11/11/2006 08:47

btw night with ds was still as bad as ever and as he went down earlier... longer :0

However dd definitely needed the sleep as she's much happier today

MrsBojangles · 11/11/2006 22:14

updated ... dd wanted to go to bed at 18:00!!! ds not convinced yet but we're going to stick at tv off 1700/1730 ish. Yippieh we might get our evenings back!

bobobobs how are you going?

3littlefrogs... THANK YOU dh got over his no tv upset. He's still grumbling that he can't unwind with Simpsons,but hey that's what they invented dvd's for also if kid finally start going to bed early we can watch the second lot anyhow

Original poster

bobobobs · 12/11/2006 11:29

well done mrs bojangles! mine are happy too to go to bed nice and early. unfortunately, ds must have been reading my earlier posting on here, and got up at 3am insisting it was morning. spent a difficult 3 hrs putting him back in bed and him getting up again and finally gave in b4 6am and we got up..
still, hopefully it was a one off and dd is having no such problems. it really is lovely to have our evenings back too.
(glad your dh is being a little more co-operative, once he realises the difference it will make to you all, he will swear early bedtimes were all his idea!)

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MrsBojangles · 13/11/2006 14:57

of course he will swear it was his idea, and I let him believe it too LOL makes life so much easier.

DD still going down early without a fuss, though last 2 nights she migrated into our bed due to nightmares.

DS on the other hand still not convinced and after 2300ish dreadful nights... even when he was on Piriton for his itching it didn't make him sleep. ARGH. what next? mallet? straight jacket? bottle of wine?

Original poster

bobobobs · 14/11/2006 18:02

hows it going mrs bojangle? my dd decided to be up half the night last night but thank goodness they are going to sleep no prob.
am also percevering (sp?) with the home made food, less "yucks" now as they are actually experiencing hungry tummies for the first time, if they don't like it they can lump it!

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MrsBojangles · 15/11/2006 07:55

it's going so so... bedtime has slipped back to 1900 but that's still o.k. Going to bed no issues. Staying in bed through the night... argh. Then again both now have sniffles and dd has nasty cough so that doesn't help...

as for hungry tums... just this very moment having debate of 'I wanna play my game (PC)' 'eat your breakfast first' 'I don't want my breakfast' 'well no games then'

and shall try ds on beaker instead of bottle tonight. Can't get much worse 'yawn'

I shall crack this boy and if it's the last thing I do I swear I shall sleep again!

Original poster

bobobobs · 15/11/2006 17:15

ooh, you sound just like scarlett o'hara! good luck, keep at it. my ds woke again just after 5am, not good, but persuaded him to lie with us for about half an hour b4 getting up.
the food is going better ,although i keep being asked when we are going to have "proper food again"..!!! (by this they mean micro chips and spaghetti hoops, the wee eejits!!)

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MrsBojangles · 16/11/2006 07:06

'proper food' yeah dd thinks proper food is chicken dippers and chips (oven bake variety) saying that she loves pita & houmous too and tinned spaghetti on toast LOL

Another bad night, but hey, I'm persevering... wonder who's more stubborn ds or me LOL it's a close call

Original poster

bobobobs · 19/11/2006 20:40

heymrs bo-j, how are you and your dcs getting on?
we are okay, kids still waking up early but the food thing seems to have settled down, they are still only tasting their main meals but eating lots of fruit and veg, no crap and lots of milk.
how are your bedtime battles going??

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MrsBojangles · 01/12/2006 11:33

hi bobobos, thread had fallen off my horizon

Nightime battles still going on, then again both dd and ds have had a bad cold so that didn't help. As for food. Given up on dinner for ds, he must be too stuffed from lunch and t at nursery.

Though now the terrible 2's are firmly establishing themselves with him and he's pretty violent!

How are you going? Still strong on home made proper dinners?

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