Really need some advice re. Care workers at my son's preschool regularly telling me 'he is not normal'.....

[sebsmummy1]

but offering no guidance or suggestions as to what they want me to do about it!

He is 28 months, does two half day sessions a week, has speech delay and is in the system. First available session with a therapist is early June.

From my point of view he is my son and if he has any SEN issues that's absolutely fine, we will go where ever the professionals advise, no problems.

However one of the care givers at the Preschool keeps pulling me aside to tell me his reactions to things are strange. She said today that she had never seen it before and it concerns her. When I asked what she wanted me to do with the information, re. how she suggested I reacted to it, she said she just thought I should know

The behaviour they are primarily concerned about is his obsessiveness with three areas in the room. Apparently he does a triangle from the computer, to the cupboards, to the outside play area. It sounds as though he does this constantly. They have tried to take him aside to do one-to-one stuff with him and today another child who is also two. It's play stuff to do with animal noises. His reaction was meant to be one of surprise, I think he was partially surprised with the moo noise, but when it came to the pig he got hold of the thing and threw it across the room. Apparent no child had ever done this before and it concerned her.

They have said I can come in to witness his behaviour and I said I am happy to. Still not sure what this will serve to do though as I certainly don't think they are lying. It's more that they are not actually suggesting or advising anything, just telling me he 'is not normal' and looking at me. Perhaps I should just say thank you!

The only thing I can think is they are trying to convince me he has an impending diagnosis coming up and they think I'm in denial or something so want to push the point home.

Thanks Dee. You explained that beautifully and I wholeheartedly agree, it is obviously a bigger thing than throwing a pig and the fact that she keeps telling me things means she must be concerned.

I have reread all the literature I received when he joined (only two months ago!) and it says there is a dedicated SENCO. Embarrassingly I have no idea if this lady is the SENCO or a supervisor or an assistant! I suspect she is someone senior as she seems to be one of the main people.

I wrote a comprehensive email this morning acknowledging their concerns, and reiterating the meetings we have coming up with SALT and the recent HV assessment. I said I was very happy for their SENCO to assess him and for any outside agencies to get involved and that I could stay to any sessions if they wanted me to. I really can't so anymore than that!!!

I have had similar issues with my son's Nursery Teachers who think my son has a physical developmental delay, based on very flimsy evidence. All practitioners whether they work in school's or hospitals need to remember that their practice needs
to be evidence based. This would require
a lot more observation than simply stating
that a child's not normal. They seem to be very quick to diagnose a (nursery staff) possible problem, without the strategies in place or protocols to help guide their practice. I would trust a health professional who has specialist knowledge and training with regards to your son's needs.

Thanks groceries.

I haven't received any reply to my email, am wondering if they received it to be honest but it wasn't hugely important. When I see them next week I shall ask if they want to put something down on paper for me to give the S&L therapist. I would like something more tangible than pig throwing to tell her so I'm hoping if they can write it down it will help with the referral.

Of course you need more evidence than that. They need to do a lot more observing, so you have something more tangible to take to a GP. You may not get a referral without it. I have had months of worry. I have recently taken my son to his HV for a developmental review, and passed this information on and the teacher still stands by what she said.

But I still standby what I said in my first post. It seems to me that they don't know what they are doing.

groceries I feel more open to the idea as my sisters eldest has SEN and I have just miscarried at 12 weeks as the baby was disabled. So in my head I think there is probably something wrong even though when he is home with me he is very switched on.

I think only time is going to tell for both of us.