How many 3yr 4mth olds do you know not potty trained please?

[GoofyIsACow]

Twins if that makes a difference.

Just trying to work out how unusual this is!

Thanks in advance

[longestlurkerever]

Dd isvthat age and dry but still isn't potty trained for poos despite my best efforts. It's a bit of an issue, tbh and she seems to have a bit of a complex about it, but i am trying to remain relaxed about it. One other in her nct group (so the same age) is the same.

[Sootgremlin]

I see what you mean. When we did finally make some headway with it I was unsure of what the next steps were, how long he would need reminding for, and it was really helpful to come on here and to have people say it would take time still, that it was gradual.

We only went back to nappies to take the pressure off when it looked like he really wasn't getting it, I would have gone on doggedly cleaning up accidents if he was happily trying and making some progress and assumed that was par for the course.

I think that the earlier attempts were all part of the preparation that helped him get there, he just needed more practise and more time than others, so agree it wouldn't be good to give the impression that if you don't have overnight success it's not worth persevering. However it is important to know when to back off.

[Schoolname]

Genuinely after 3 children, 11 nieces and nephews and many friends I can hand on heart say that I think 3.4 is the latest is have ever heard of. Virtually all the girls were done by 2.5 and the boys by 3 with a couple a bit after that. The notion that children of nearly 4 would still be in nappies - obviously those with SN excluded, is totally alien to me.

[HaroldLloyd]

Some children don't get it until later.

I don't see the big deal about that.

Why do people even care what age other people's children take a poo on a toilet for?

[MATB1]

DD1 is almost 3 and still in nappies. We tried over the summer to PT but DD2 had just arrived so it wasn't great timing.

She can do both a wee and a poo on the potty and likes the idea of knickers but also still asks for her nappy. She often tells me after she's been for a wee or a poo but never before. I think she is aware it's something she'll need to crack at some point...

Think we might try again at Christmas when DH is around and she's fully settled in terms of preschool (only been going since after half term) and will obv be totally used I DD2 being in existence.

Thanks for starting this though as I was beginning to think it was getting a bit late... All her pals of the same age are all out of nappies now and have been for some time.

I'm desperate for her to be out of nappies but trying not to show it........

[bearmama22]

My son was 3 yrs 10 months when he potty trained. He has a speech delay so I held off until I was sure he could understand the vocabulary associated with it etc. Then when the time came he was so so ready to do it. I used to get comments from family members all the time about him being a late starter REALLY ANNOYING!! But I am glad I ignored them and stuck to my own instincts. I think because he was actually ready for coming out of nappies it went quite smoothly and he was done within a week. Although now he is 4 and he likes to poo his pants when he is being lazy!!!! Not fun!

[MollyBdenum]

Schoolname, it might be alien to you, but was considered completely within the normal range by the health professionals I talked to.

[3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole]

My eldest two (boys) were both training but still having accidents at this age

[3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole]

I also work with children and it is not uncommon to see four year old in nappies with parents interning to train the summer before reception

[addictedtosugar]

I know a child that was trained in the nick of time before starting school at 4.5 - not through lack of trying before hand.
I know a 3.8 who was trained just before starting pre-school - again, not through lack of trying.
I know a 5.5 in nappies (SN)

[HenriettaTurkey]

DS is 2.6 and is now, just, happy to sit (fully clothed) on the potty. Reluctant when naked, and is a complete poo denier. Very precocious in other ways, but not ready to train. And I'm not going to force him right now...

[insancerre]

I have 50 children in my nursery aged 2-4
12 are still in nappies
The oldest in nappies is a girl just turned 3
The youngest out of nappies is a girl aged 2 years 4 months
Children do develop at different rates but it is so much easier toilet train a child who is developmentally ready than one who just isn't ready.

[TheFirstOfHerName]

My older two (singletons) were out of nappies at 2.5.
The younger two (twins) weren't out of nappies until after their third birthday.

[Sootgremlin]

The thing about sn is they often aren't diagnosed until 5 plus anyway when children enter the school system, so you wouldn't know whether it was a factor in late developers anyway except for retrospectively.

My ds had extremely good and understandable speech and vocab and confidence in talking from the age of 2, but couldn't undress without getting in a tangle, and coordinate his body onto a toilet seat in time to use it until he was well over 3. Some 2 year olds have no problem with clothing and coordination but their speech is still not clear and their vocabulary doesn't take off until 3-4.

Why does it matter so much if the physical coordination comes a bit later but not the other stuff?

[dangerrabbit]

My dd is 3. She has been potty trained during the day since she turned 2 but still wears a nappy at night

[Hobbes8]

My son is 3.4 and we just attempted potty training over half term. We had tried a few times before and he seemed to have no understanding of when he needed to wee and was getting upset so we left it. Last week was a different story - no wee accidents after the first couple of days. He is still a bit hit and miss with poos and doesn't seem keen to go when we're out of the house, so we've got a way to go yet before I would call him fully toilet trained. I put him in a pull up for soft play yesterday for example.

The nursery don't seem to think this is particularly unusual, so I had presumed he was on the late side of normal, as he has been with many of his other milestones. He walked at 17 months for example.

[GoofyIsACow]

Thanks all, as a pp said, they have had a speech delay so don't fully understand the vocabulary currently.
We have potties around and their big brother likes to encourage them to sit on the toilet and potty too.
We have tried, i tried again yesterday but i may as well be talking a foreign language.

To all those who started their posts with 'honestly...' There is no need to be so offensive, children do develop at different rates, which is why i am asking... But congratulations on yours being so quick.

To the poster who asked about the 'themselves' phrasing, no, i didn't mean i would let them just do it themselves as such, just that when they are ready, the process will hopefully be very quick. I started with DS1 too early and it led to be very stressful for all involved.

[LikeASoulWithoutAMind]

Ds3 was over 3.6 when we finally cracked it (after several failed attempts) Nursery even offered to have a go and then admitted he wasn't ready either.

You will get there OP - all 3 of mine went from disastrous to trained within a few weeks. My experience was definitely that it is not hard work once they are ready. I've never really understood people who put themselves through months of accidents rather than wait a little longer. Looks pretty stressful to me.

[ApocalypseNowt]

I know of 2.
One's parents had tried periodically till he 'got it' age 3.5yo.

One didn't try till 3.6yo when they realised their pre-school had said the children should be potty trained and tried to force the poor lad to do it in a 3 week period. It very much became a 'thing' and there was even a point where he was soiling himself 4+ times a day. It took months and months before he got it. Tbh I don't know whether he was ready previously and they had 'missed the boat' and he was very attached to his nappies therefore reacting strongly to sudden enforced potty training, or he wasn't ready, or he had undiagnosed sn. Whatever the reason i felt ever so sorry for him.

[longestlurkerever]

Op I have been seeking medical help and help from charity Eric for dd and they don't think her age is particularly unusual not to be potty trained in itself. Our problem is it's more of an ingrained psychological issue which leads to constipation and diarrhoea. She is otherwise reaching/ahead of her milestones but she starts school next September so I am a bit worried about it.

[5madthings]

My ds4 was 3 yrs 4 mths when he trained. My ds1 was out of nappies at 18mths, he trained himself. The other three were between 2-3yrs. Basically they are all different.

I know twins now six who were 3.6 when they trained, their mum was getting concerned but they got it quickly once they were ready.

[GoofyIsACow]

Thankyou all, their keyworker agrees they are not ready, it's just they have started at the preschool attached to school and they wre shocked they were still in nappies and want to put a plan in place.

If that plan is 'wait until they are clearly ready and then do it, in the meantime carry on as is' then I am ok with it.

If the plan is 'remove nappies and potty train' then I am not! We will see on monday.

[longestlurkerever]

Goofy. Beware of preschool going over the top. That's what's really made my dd's problem escalate. I started a thread on here and on the back of the advice received contacted the eric charity andmy local council. I now have the council's policy and they confirmed that although nurseries can request you make efforts to potty train they can't insist, make it a condition of entry or make you come in and deal with it. It's been stressful but preschool have backed off a bit and dd's accidents have lessened though it is baby steps. Sorry - probably won't be your experience but forewarned is forearmed so it's worth doing a bit of research if you're uncomfortable with their approach.

[TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy]

My older 2 were, though the eldest still had occasional accidents and wore night nappies at that age (he was still mainly nonverbal at that age as well).

3rd wasn't until she was around 4. She and everyone else found it difficult as she had to wrapped be practically head to toe (cotton coveralls plus cotton tights plus scratch sleeves was her 'uniform' from about 1 until she was almost 4) and wore scratch sleeves due to severe eczema and repeated skin infections, including under her finger nails, it was deemed better to wait until she didn't need scratch sleeves for her safety or to prevent spreading infections (which at one point covered 3/4ths of her body). She also hated the toilet and even in a small potty kept saying she was worried and upset that she would fall in. We ended up buying a toilet seat that had a mini toilet seat inside that she could use and a step stool.

4th is 3 at the end of the month and no amount of trying so far has made him interested in anything on the potty other than playing with the toilet paper and his penis and still taking no notice of peeing or pooping. His best friend who is two weeks younger does notice and has been potty training since she was close to 1 year old and still regularly has accidents -- and pooped on a bed here when she came to visit recently as like many toddlers including my own is very good at getting naked.

There are many factors in being ready and potty training beyond parents trying.

[GoofyIsACow]

Thanks longestlurker, that is interesting and good to know.
TheSpork, your poor DD, I hope her exzema has improved now, my eldest DS suffers with it too although not to that extent.