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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Do all 5-year-old boys play with 'guns'!?

67 replies

souvenir · 29/09/2006 21:01

Message withdrawn

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Furball · 30/09/2006 05:04

My ds is 5 and loves to go round shooting everyone with his 'shooter' (I don't think he knows it's called a gun) and he also has no understanding of what it actually means. Like BudaBabe said I remember playing cowboys and indians as a child and alot of films were westerns but that didn't make me a violent or gun wielding.

sugarfree · 30/09/2006 06:21

I had a 'no gun' policy with ds1,who then made them out of lego or sticks at the park.
Been a bit more relaxed with 2 and 3 but it's not something I would buy and if someone else buys them they 'disappear' after a while.

(the guns, not the person who bought them,I sounded a bit gangster's moll there!)

mummydear · 30/09/2006 06:52

Oh I don't know Sugarfree- if someone bought my sons a gun I think I would make that person disappear for a while !!

Guns are such a senstive issue anyone who buys another child a gun are a bit insenstive themselves !!!

magicfarawaytree · 30/09/2006 07:04

abosolutely love toy guns that make a noise. but would never buy one for another child unless parent said they wanted one ie cowboy / pirate stuff or water pistols.

dejags · 30/09/2006 07:37

Never bought a gun for my DS1. Doesn't bother him - he makes them out of lego on the odd occasion and sometimes uses sticks.

I try not to make an issue of it - after all they are only 5, hardly murderers in the making.

sugarfree · 30/09/2006 07:38

Ds2 and 3 are currently 'duelling' with the goldfish net and the vent cover from the tumble dryer.One has the mop bucket on his head and the other is wearing a bandana made out of Snuggley.
Who needs guns?

FrannyandZooey · 30/09/2006 07:58

Studies in childcare settings have shown that games of fighting, superheroes etc can enable children to work through and resolve difficult issues of right and wrong. However they found that role play games with imaginary weapons (ie sticks, a gun made from duplo) led to creative and problem solving play, whereas games with replica weapons (plastic guns etc)were more likely to lead to aggressive and more unimaginative sorts of games.

fatfox · 30/09/2006 08:03

Souv - in short YES, they all do (well, 95% anyway, I accept that the occassional ones don't).

My sister banned my nephew from having toy guns and he used to cut all his sandwiches into gun shapes and shoot people with cheese sandwiches instead. The fact they were a banned object just made him more obsessed with having a gun, so in the end my sister relented and bought him one small one.

Likewise, I didn't buy one for DS and didn't allow him to watch horrible violent American cartoons, but he still developed that desire to shoot everyone. He has a large popper gun (which is currently in the back seat of our car and looks amazingly like a sub-machine gun. Am just waiting to be stopped by the police...) and a water pistol. He also makes guns out of any object he can.........

I think its a testosterone thang...

Northerner · 30/09/2006 08:14

My ds has an arsenal opf weopons! Guns, swords, light sabres, bow and arrows. I've never banned them and he does play with them but is not obsessed. My dh and his bro remember playing with guns as kids and they are well adjusted.

Testosterone has a lot to answer for and boys are just doing what comes naturally to them, yet they get a bad press for it. We need to let boys be boys.

mumandlovingit · 30/09/2006 08:22

northener
completely agree
i hated my boys playing with guns etc when they were first interested in them.
personally we dont have very many but my eldest is 5 and he's into history, romans etc and all he wants is guns, swords, armour etc.he loves visiting castles and gladiator pretend events and he knows that it is all pretend and that you dont hurt anyone.

boys will be boys and they'll be interested in what they want the same as girls.ive realisedt that if you dont let them play with a gun if they're interested in playing cowboys or cops etc then they'll pnly use something else and pretend its a gun anyway!

as long as they understand that swords, guns etc are dangerous and dont play too rough then i cant see the problem.i think that if you ban them from playing with things they only want to play with them more because they're curious.

fatfox · 30/09/2006 08:32

Northener - totally agree.

Mumandlovingit - TBH I think not only do little boys get more obsessed with toys guns if you "ban" them, but it also marks them out as different from all their friends, which can feel really unfair to them. I'm not saying you should allow all things their friends have, but the toy gun obsession doesn't go away IMO.

jalopy · 30/09/2006 08:51

I knew a boy who had 2 older sisters and didn't have any 'weapons' as toys. He used to twist the legs of a barbie doll into strange angles and pretend the doll was a machine gun.

Twiglett · 30/09/2006 08:56

its an imaginative game .. however they use their imagination must be for the best

god did none of you anti's ever play cowboys and indians

there is no correlation between allowing your kid to play shoot-em-up games and on the street violence ..

and yes I think for very many small boys it is a natural phase

and no my children are not allowed guns as toys

this holier than thou 'oh no not MY child' is really irritating

Twiglett · 30/09/2006 08:57

oh and my 2.5 year old DD makes a fabulous 'pyow' noise as she points her finger at you

its PLAY

Blossomhill · 30/09/2006 08:58

No way would I have bought my ds a gun and tbh he was never the type of boy that would want to play with them anyway.
He likes to sit and play quietly, never been one for tearing around and being boisterous.

notagrannyyet · 30/09/2006 09:39

I've not read all of this but IMO you can't stop little boys 'play fighting'. I have 5 sons and have never bought a toy gun. I have even thrown toy guns received as gifts in the bin as soon as possible.
Kids don't need guns to fight.Mine made lasers out of lego,used wood spoons or sticks & turned dustbin lids into shields.DD joined in with most of their games but didn't do the 'pretend gun thing' so it is I think more of a boy thing.

I always noticed in churh when they gave out those little crosses made out of palm leaves. All the little boys turned them round and pretended they were swords and 'fought' each other on the way out!

BudaBabe · 30/09/2006 09:47

I think banning anything makes it more attractive. A friend was out shopping with her niece and her DS. She bought the niece a Barbie and then her DS wanted one. She refused and steered him towards boy toys. He became obsessed with Barbies! She ended up buying him one and he played with it for about a week!

LunarSea · 30/09/2006 09:48

I think it's just a boy thing. Even if you never have toy guns they end up finding a stick and using it as a pretend gun.

We're still managing (just) to stick to the no guns rule, but in the last year or so we do seem to have acquired light sabres (a la Star Wars), a bow and arrows, a water pistol (although pistol is a bit of a misnomer - it's more like a water kalashnikov given the size of it), swords (as part of a knight costume) and cannons on a pirate ship. Have given in to the inevitable and downgraded my expectations from no weapons to nothing which remotely like a real gun.

NotABraBurningOtter · 30/09/2006 09:59

i find the attitude 'they all do it and if they dont now they will later' irritating. No they dont 'all'

kittywits · 30/09/2006 10:40

Perhaps not, but the vast majority do!

southeastastra · 30/09/2006 11:06

studies involving play! argh i don't think they can generalise that if you make your own gun you're more likely to be good at problem solving and that playing with replica weapons would make them agressive. it's a generealisation

FrannyandZooey · 30/09/2006 11:48

No, you misunderstood me SEA, the effects were not permanent or even long lasting. Just that, while the particular play session was going on, the play was more likely to be aggressive if replica weapons were involved, and more likely to be imaginative if weapons the children had 'found' or 'made' were involved.

southeastastra · 30/09/2006 12:11

oh i see what you mean! i'll try that out later

theshrimp · 30/09/2006 12:11

F&Z- i find your words so reassuring! i too hated to see DS shooting and talking about "pilling" but I have got used to the idea that it's just what boys do and I am now resigned to the arsenal of weapons he has accumilated (sp?)
Still hate it tho' and hope it's just a phase!
Even conkers are "bombs" at the moment. Ds says it's something to do with Star Wars . . .

Original poster

souvenir · 30/09/2006 14:22

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

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