Am I wrong in wanting to punish him twice?

[windypops]

Need some much needed advice. Basically my son starts school in September and has recently been playing up at pre-school (not listening, running about and causing trouble) he has been put on assessment. I obviously want to stamp this out before school. I think the pre-school are being too soft on him and have told them they need to be firmed and given them examples on how to do this. the thing is his behaviour is fine at home and everywhere else, its just the pre-school where he has the problems. The thing is I asked to be informed on a daily basis of how he has been, and they advised that were not that happy in discussing it with the child around, and also if he was naughty at pre-school I was going to not let him watch his bedtime video, this was also met with uncertainty as they said it was like punishing him twice. Any advice qould be appreciated.

I went to a nursery when I was around your ds's age for a very short while. They kept insisting that I sit cross legged instead of a different style of folding my legs that I preferred. They insisted I took a nap at lunch time when I wasn't tired. And generally complained that I was too active and didn't want to do the activities that they had planned for us. Luckily my mother didn't agree with their regime and took me out after a week. Despite my early experience at disobedience, I have grown up to be a productive member of society. All of this is to say, that maybe as aloha said, they have unreasonable expectations for your ds and you may want to try a different nursery that is more encouraging of his "differentness"

My friends son was a complete pain before he started school, but at school he is an angel. He is still a pain at home though!!

my ds1 has a lovely teacher that explained to me that the hardest skill for a child to master is the art of sitting still. when you look to the continent where most children start school at 6/7 it makes me concerned our expectations are so high. steven biddulph - author of raising boys discusses how you would think we are educating senior citizens - not young people in their prime of life with all this energy! this i feel contributes to the growing issue of boys being (sometimes)wrongly diagnosed with adhd or behavioural difficulties. has he plenty of space to run, dig, climb, cycle, dance, sing at the top of his voice, kick a ball etc. i see parents being chastised because their children's spirits haven't been controlled. makes me so sad - this is the time when we should be enjoying our children making sense of the world. they are children for such a short time. sorry rant over

My neighbours grandson left nursery at about this age because he was bored there. He's fine at school now. I think they just don't suit each other any more.

My DS's are very active, at that age he only went to day nursery for 2 days a week, I chose not to send them to "school"nursery, as I felt it was to formal for them. They went straight to reception in September, a month before their 5th birthday, and they settled in brilliantly, and are both in the top of their class even though, I had decided
not to give them any academic type work while at home, they learned through play and experience.
I just felt they were better out and about seeing things and running about, rather than shut in a room for most of the day. Their teacher recently commented on how good their general knowledge is for their age, and how good they are at describing experiances.
However, I still think 5 is far too young to have a formal education.