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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Dummy or Thumb?

39 replies

Haily111 · 28/08/2006 08:00

Hello everyone, my littlen is 12 weeks. When i first brought her back from hospital, she would find her thumb without having any coordination! So i decided to give her a dummy, as i was under the assumption that it is harder to get rid of a thumb (haha) then a dummy!
My Cousin sucked his thumb when he was younger, he is now 26 and when he is tired or is actually asleep his thumb finds its way to his mouth!
In the last two weeks, she seems to be finding her thumb more and more before i get a chance to offer her the dummy. I also think she is starting to teeth, so am not sure if that is another reason why it has increased.
My question is where do i go from here? And would also like to know other mums experience with 'getting rid of the thumb' (or dummy)!

Thanks for the help.

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trinityrhino · 28/08/2006 08:09

I would say that thumb is better and NOT ALL KIDS do it for that long.

personaaly I didn't give mine dummies becasue I know that I am too wimpy to take away their source of comfort so they would end up with a dummy in their mouth at 4 or 5 ugh I can't stand that so dd1 didn't get offered one ever and dd2 sucked her thumb from an early age and I was overjoyed

I am pregnant with my third and am prepared that it may be a sucky unsettled baby that may benifit from a dummy. I am prepared to offer one if i think it's really neccessary but would rather not

Auntymandy · 28/08/2006 08:15

I personally dont like dummies.DS1 used thumb he is 15 now and doesnt suck it. never really did past 2 I think. DD had thumb and still sucks it 13!! had to have a brace because her teethe stuck out and dentist said it was because she sucked her thumb other 3 DS's havent bothered! although Ds3 has a snuggy!! I hate it DH encouraged it!!

suburbanjellybrain · 28/08/2006 08:21

my 4mo dd is v sucky baby i give her a muslin to suck on along with her fingers mainly when she is in her pushchair or about to go to sleep - according to my mum i was the same and i can assure you i do not suck my fingers or have my cuddly now! muslins are handy as i have loads of them they are easy to wash and as i use them when b'feeding dd they have a comforting aroma. whatever you choose it is vvv unlikely that your dd will use them beyond nursery age and most likely she will be over it after her 1st year - you decide what you can accept and go with it

kittywits · 28/08/2006 08:39

Personally I prefer thumbs. I don't like seeing babies and children with dummies in their mouths. It looks like they've had a stopper put in! I think thumbs and fingers look better and I think the baby/child is likely to suck them for a shorter time. My youngest has always sucked the little and ring finger on her left hand. It's great that she always has these comforters to hand (ha ha).

princessmel · 28/08/2006 08:44

Hi, My ds had a dummy untill he was just over 3. He only had at night/nap time after 12 ish months and knew to leave it in his cot when he woke. He was a really sucky new born and never found his thumb. I liked that we could control when he had it etc. as he got older. We worried that it would be hard to stop it and after he was about 2 ish we used to say 'soon you'll be too big for your dummy' and one day he just said 'I don't need my dummy any more' and that was that. We were very shocked!

When I had dd I thought I'd give her one if she was like ds but she never took to it. At 10 weeks she found her thumb. Its great as it doesn't fall out of the cot or get lost in the town! I do worry that it will affect her teeth or that she'll do it for ages but there's nothing you can do really. I think its great that she can self sooth herself. She has definatly woke less in the night than ds as she always knows where it is. As she's got older she sucks it less. Only when she's hungry, tired or upset . She doesn't always go to sleep sucking it now either. She's 12 months.

I think if your lo has found her thumb then just go with it. She's developed the skill all by herself. clever girl!

Original poster

Haily111 · 28/08/2006 08:50

Thanks for the input, i would just like to point out that she gets her dummy offered, i know some moms constantly give baby's a dummy to quieten them down, but my dd only gets hers when she is tired, and have to say it does settle her. I also have to say i don't mind her having her thumb am just worried it will be hard to stop her from sucking.
May i ask what a snuggly is? I like the muslin idea, but my littlen still hasn't got her hand coordination right so would be worried she'd stuff it in her mouth and wouldn't get it back out if you know what i mean!
The downside with a dummy (from what i can see) is if she looses it i will probably have to go searching around the room to find it, whereas a thumb is always to hand :-) Although i have not found any evidence yet that suggests a dummy affects a baby's teeth as thumbs could.

OP posts:

princessmel · 28/08/2006 08:57

I only gave the dummy for those reasons too. It didn't affect his teeth or speech at all by the way. He spoke in sentances at 18 months! The dentist told me that a thumb was worse. Poor dd
We used a really long bumper that went all the way round the cot to stop it falling out and that worked really well. ( once we found one that was long enough, Ikea!)
I think a snuggly is just another word for comforter. Ds has a muslin and Dd has a silky loopy blanket which she only has in bed. She holds it and sucks her thumb. They don't suck it just hold it and 'nuzzle' it. Some lo's suck them though I think.

fatfox · 28/08/2006 09:00

Haily111

I prefer dummies or a muslin sheet. I have heard and read that dummies can affect speach development and can also distort how the little teeth grow. It can also be really hard to wean children off dummies, as they get so attached to them. A five year old sucking its thumb looks quite cute, but a five year old with a dummy just doesn't somehow.

fatfox · 28/08/2006 09:01

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sfxmum · 28/08/2006 09:10

thumbs always
but then again both dh and i had it drummmed into us by our parents over the years that its the right thing, whatever that means

princessmel · 28/08/2006 09:13

Having a dummy didn't affect my ds's speech in any way. He only had it for nap/sleep times after he was 1.
I think if he had had it in all the day then it would have had an affect. It depends how you use them. Having a thumb in all day would affect how nuch a child spoke too though.

terriefarrell · 28/08/2006 09:33

Well i'll buck the trend it seems and say i prefer dummies. I like to be able to control the sucking which i can't get from a thumb. DD1 had a dummy til she was about 18 months and came off no problems, DD2 is being weaned off it now and DD3 who is 10 months does look for her thumb which i take out and put a dummy is as she's going to sleep. I think it's because i had a nephew who sucked his thumb til he was 12 that made me determined to use a dummy. It's just personal preference and i don't judge either way but it annoys me when people condemn the use of dummies. My daughters, especially DD2 has fantastic speech and always has done but she is finding it hard to wean the dummy other than at nap times. Good luck either way, but i think a thumb sucker will try to get that thumb in no matter what you try which is what's happening with my youngest!

Terrie X

pointydog · 28/08/2006 09:45

I know a dental nurse and she says dentists would recommend dummy over thumb as it's less potentially damaging to teeth.

I think a bit of snob value comes into it rather than the dental side of it. Dummies are seen as scuzzy by some.

Dd2 found her thumb early and I tried to get her on to a dummy (but without forcing it). She would spit out a dummy to find her thumb. She is now nearly 8 and sucks her thumb for hours. Can't get her to stop. And she certainly wouldn't have had a dummy at this age!

However, people on other thread have said it's no big deal still sucking her thumb, even at this age.

So - would you mind having a 2 or 3 yr old with a dummy more or less than you'd mind an 8+ yr old thumb sucker?!

pointydog · 28/08/2006 09:49

I didn't see your post, terrie - I agree with you!

hulababy · 28/08/2006 10:01

I gave DD a dummy as she was a sucky baby and it seemed to help her colic int he early weeks. She didn't want her thumb.

She only had it when in need of comfort - nap time/bedtime/ill. And as she got older it was bedtimes only. We got rid of it when she was 2 - she gave it to our BIL's new kitten. She asked for it once that night and then not again.

She was not allowed it at all when talking or walkign about. It was strictly a comforter.

FlameFLY · 28/08/2006 10:13

They both have pros and cons - I hated the look of the dummy, but we needed something for DD to suck before she was old enough for the thumb to go in at 12 weeks (psycho assures me that they go in at 12 weeks, and DS's did). She had it until about 2 1/2, when we gave them to the fairies. I parted with them then partly because I could see Psycho having problems with her DS who is 10 months older, and I thought it might be easier when she was that bit younger, and partly because we'd stopped being "sleepy time" to lots of time.

DS, I managed to hold out, I love the look of thumb sucking, and feel that they are more inclined to take a thumb out to talk, but less so with a dummy. I suck my thumb, so not worried about him being adult and still sucking, because I know it comforts.

BAD POINT - I have just discovered that a weaning dummy sucker can have it taken away to feed em - whereas a thumb can be shoved in and you have to fight the thing out!

bubblepop · 28/08/2006 11:08

hiya, ive got both a thumb sucker and a dummy baby in my house!one of each! it was'nt planned that way, i just let each baby have what they preferred. the thumb sucker sucked her thumb from a very early age, ive got photos of her 2 months old doing it. the only problem ive encountered so far is that her thumb has been wrinkly and withered looking and her nail looks a little different from the others, probably from being constantly damp. our dentist actually said "oh no, not a thumb sucker" ! so there you are, not good from his point of view. however, we have had absolutely no sleep problems with her because she can sooth herself back to sleep if she stirs in the night. our little dodie girl (as i call her) is always waking in the night, frantically searching round the cot for the dummy. its always dropping on the floor(yuk!) and is always having to be rinsed under the tap,and god knows what will happen if we lose the thing when we are out and about ! sorry thumbs win this one!

rustybear · 28/08/2006 11:39

My DS only sucked his thumb when he had his comfort object (in this case a soft toy clown that DM had made.) He took it everwhere with him & it got more & more dilapidated - in the end it had great holes in & much of the stuffing had come out - but at least he never minded it being washed, though he used to keep a very close eye on the washing machine when Clown was in there!
When he was about 2.5 he lost it on a shopping trip. There was great trauma that night, but next morning there was a ring at the bell and there was Clown on the doorstep! DS was convinced that Clown had made his own way home - he didn't see the shop assistant rushing back to the shop - luckily DS had lost Clown in the newsagents who delivered our paper.Cunning mum immediately took advantage of this explaining that Clown had been very scared out all night & didn't really want to go outside any more. DS was quite happy with this & clown was restricted to bedtime, then gradually forgotten & the thumb sucking stopped.(though DS is now 18 & Clown still lives in a box in his bedroom)
I was of course very smug, convinced I'd found the right way and intended to follow the same plan with no.2
However DD was a completely different proposition - according to the midwife, she actually came out sucking her thumb - which is why I had so many stitches- and despite my efforts, she never got attached to a comfort object at all - except she like to squeeze my neck while she sucked.
To cut a long story short, she was still sucking her thumb on her 16th birthday, and has only now stopped at 16.5 because she's had her lip pierced & it hurts!

Original poster

Haily111 · 28/08/2006 11:45

Thanks for all those comments. Sounds like i need to persuade Faye to have her lip pierced when she is 16 ;-)

I think i will still offer her her dummy as she still seems to settle with it, but i wont disturb her if she wants her thumb. At the end of the day my mom always says the baby knows best what suits her and i should go along with that, seems like she is right again :-)

OP posts:

serenity · 28/08/2006 11:53

As a 35 yr old thumb sucker I say dummy, dummy, dummy - you can control it, and you can choose when it stops. Nothing cute about a five yr old sucking a dummy or a thumb imo.

motherinferior · 28/08/2006 12:14

They can put their own thumbs in in the small hours, though, so I personally am pro-thumb. Both Inferiorettes suck theirs when they're tired and in their sleep. I know this will probably backfire in years of expensive dental work and therapy and affect their adult sex lives or something, but hey, I get to sleep through the night.

expatinscotland · 28/08/2006 12:19

I never could get mine to suck their thumbs.

DD1 took to a dummy like a duck to water at sleep time.

blossom2 · 28/08/2006 12:21

my 13 month old sucks her thumb regularly, though only when she is tired or wants a cuddle. but when asleep, thumb is not in her mouth.

I did have a scare though when some friends came to visit. their six year old girl still sucks her thumb, but only on one side of her mouth and all the teeth on that side is shorter than the rest of her other teeth, and the father said she has damaged the roof of her mouth too. all because of the way she sucks her thumb, rather than thumb going straight into the mouth, she pushes it to the roof and only sucks from one side. i was horrified, but who knows, she may still grow out of it.

serenity · 28/08/2006 12:25

My teeth are fine, but I have two different shaped thumbs and the alarming tendancy to realise I'm driving the car with one hand on the wheel and one thumb in my mouth. Dh got a bit irked when I was doing it on the Motorway back from Wales last week

wartywarthog · 28/08/2006 13:34

vote for dummy here. you can limit it to when they go to sleep and remove it when they're old enough to understand about the dummy fairy. otherwise you might cause traffic accidents while on the motorway sucking your thumb!!!!

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