Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

I had to organise a search this morning to find my missing child....

59 replies

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 12:59

we found her...eventually....but I have never, in my life, had such a fright

ds has footie on a Sat morning - he played and we saw a family friend on the other side of the field (lovely recreation grounds that back onto the river). Dd (5) said she wanted to see the boats (end of the field is fenced so the river can't be accessed) so while I went over and said hello, I told her to wait by a tree where I could see her. She was about 20-30 foot from where I was standing. I said hello (took a few mins), could still see her but when I turned around again, she had gone .

I didn't panic and thought she could have been round the other side but when I got closer, I could see she wasn't there. Ran down to the end of the field/river (full of trees) - couldn't see her. Was starting to panic, ds was in tears - even though there are trees, you can see for miles and it was clear there was no child there. Another family came up and tried to help me but by now, she had been gone for 5-10 minutes. A whole group of people came to help and someone suggested calling the lifeboats just in case she had managed to scale the fence and had fallen in the river . I didn't call (because in my mind, there's no way she could have managed it but you start to doubt everything you ever knew) and then thought, where would she have gone (she is norm so sensible). So I headed back to the car - quite a walk and along a busy road with no pavement . Thought if she is not there, I will have to call the police and RNLI.

As I was walking towards the car, a mum from school came towards me with her. Dd had been cowering by our car and watching which adults came past and when she recognised this woman, had jumped out screaming mummy .

She had lost sight of us when standing by the tree and thought we must have gone without her. She managed to get to the road (she would have had to walk through a busy car park from where she had been) and once on the road, she couldn't be seen (because there's a line of bushes between the road/field). It was quite a walk for her. She must have walked through the car park while ds and I had run in the opposite direction (towards the river - I think you run towards the 'worst case scenario').

I still can't quite believe it. She is the most sensible child normally and is used to waiting around and playing where I can see her while ds is playing football. Most of all, I am so relieved - when I stood by the river and could see for miles and couldn't see her, I thought I would never see her again.

OP posts:

gothicmama · 15/07/2006 16:46

your dd sounds wonderfully semnsible she found your car and waited for someone she knew - you musty have felt awfull I diid when dd hid in a shop sje thought it was great fun hiding I was in a blind panic

Mercy · 15/07/2006 17:06

Good point, Gothicmama.

Yes, she sounds a very sensible girl.

Original poster

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 17:40

thanks everyone - it is the most horrid experience isn't it - I imagine it is awful to lose a child in a shopping centre!

once I got over the shock, she was actually quite sensible (waiting for someone she recognised) although I shudder to think how she crossed the car park and walked down the road .

OP posts:

Marina · 15/07/2006 17:44

FIS, oh you poor things, thank goodness she is OK. Me too LGJ - I have a rather embarrassing dread of losing sight of ds anywhere in public - Tigermoth will confirm that even her ds2 is very kind about this
What a fright you had. Definitely a big drink on the cards tonight!

edam · 15/07/2006 17:44

I meant to comment admiringly on her competence in going somewhere where you'd turn up eventually. Bless her!

sparklemagic · 15/07/2006 18:07

yes, a very sensible girl actually, well done for her!

FiS, have a large glass of wine tonight, you poor thing..there is nothing like the terror that anything like this with kids can bring is there. Haven't lost ds like this (yet..) but experienced real, cold terror when he was ill and it looked like meningitis (which it wasn't thank goodness) but my blood literally ran cold....

cupcakes · 15/07/2006 18:47

oh FIS, I completely welled up reading your post. So glad it ended ok. Big hug for your dd.
x

Original poster

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 18:54

thankyou - yes, only an hour to go before I'll have that drink .

strangest thing was having to describe dd to people who don't even know her - I was wracking my brains trying to remember what she was wearing! Note to self, remember what your children dress in every morning!

OP posts:

Upsadaisy · 15/07/2006 18:57

Oh my word! Have lost ds1 once for short period and that was terrifying an awful feeling of 'is this real'.
What a head she has on her shoulders to head back to the car though and not to just approach anyone.

A few stiff drinks are in order for you!!

cupcakes · 15/07/2006 18:58

My friend lost her little girl in the school playground last week and I asked what she was wearing as I could see a little pink hat bobbing around by the playhouses. She described a white dress with little flowers on but neglected to mention this hat... It took me another few worrying moments to realise that this pink hat was the girl in question.

Aero · 15/07/2006 19:43

OMG foxi - my blood ran cold reading that too - It is the most sickening feeling as I've lost sight of mine on occasion, but 20 minutes - you poor thing. I panic when ds2 (2) disappears in the house for a moment or two as I know he can now open the front door!
What a sensible little girl you have though - I'm not sure dd would be so sensible in her position.

Glad she turned up safe and sound and all is well. Enjoy that drink tonight!

me23 · 15/07/2006 19:51

poor you fis, I got panicy reading this too. Thank god you found her safe and sound.

Toady · 15/07/2006 20:41

it is just horrible isn't it my DD2 aged 2.5 did this on the afternoon of the England Sweden game, we were at PILs, too many people about, I was feeding DS3, DH was building the barbeque, looked out of the window and saw that the front gate was open, I just knew she had gone, anyway after 5 mins of sheer terror found her stood in the middle of a group of people, she looked so little and vulnerable . She had been stood in the middle of the road . DH and I couldnt eat for the rest of the day and I kept bursting into tears. I still panic when I go over to the in laws and lock all the doors (like a loon) when I am over there.

Hope you have had a stiff drink, I need one now.

Original poster

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 20:57

lol at acting like a loon - I think it is more worrying when they are toddler age because they have no sense!

Dd's asked me not to mention it again because when we talk about it it makes her feel creepy .

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 15/07/2006 20:58

I was just wondering if you were having a stiff drink FIS.

Original poster

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 21:01

yes kids are fast asleep, dh still at work and I am having an ice cold beer - couldn't manage anything stronger because I took a max strength nurofen when I got home (yes, I know I prob shouldn't be drinking at all with that ) - I managed to kick start a huge headache prob from running around 'like a loon' with stress!

OP posts:

JanH · 15/07/2006 21:05

fis

How horrible for you and for her and for the rest of your family - thank goodness she was so smart about finding the car

ziggiz · 15/07/2006 21:10

As I too now know, it can all happen far too quickly but am so glad to read your happy ending.

ameli · 16/07/2006 21:54

oh, that is so awful. Big Hugs to you, i can only imagine, it must have been so horrible for you.Every parents worst nightmare, thank god you found her and she is safe and sound. I would have totally lost it, well done for keeping calm...my lil one is such an active thing, i mean it only takes a sec and there off, i feel for you i really do.

hulababy · 17/07/2006 12:59

How horrible for you all. I can imagien that terror - only lost DD for a couple of minutes or so at a time (twice now ) but feels like a lifetime at the end. 20 minutes would be hell I am sure.

Glad your found DD safe and well, and you are all tgether. Take care.

puddle · 17/07/2006 13:03

That post left me feeling sick and tearful all at once FIS. So glad you found her, there's nothing quite like that heartstopping lurch in your chest when you can't see them, is there?

robinia · 17/07/2006 13:37

On Friday we had the same thing happen with ds3. Dh and friend took him over to the tennis courts while I went to get the others from school Got back from school after having dropped dd at her tennis lesson (different venue). Dh's friend arrives back at house, says "is ds3 here, have you seen him?" answer "no, he's with you!". At that stage he'd been missing about 10-15 mins that dh and friend had been searching for him - tennis courts back onto lots of back gardens (some with swimming pools/ponds) and they'd been looking round and calling. I went over to help look - was reasonably calm at this stage - ds had a habit of wandering off - although obviously concerned about swimming pool risk. However another 5 mins and still no sign so we ring police and dh and friend go round alerting neighbours. I go off to get dd back. When I get back to the house, approx. 1 hr. after ds has first gone missing, dh is outside the house with ds. I didn't recognise ds at first because I'd been expecting him to be in his T-shirt and shorts but he was actually in his Spiderman outfit. How I didn't remember that that was what he had been wearing I'll never know as he had had it on all day. Turns out he had been stopped by a lady about 1 1/2 miles away - he'd been trying to get to me at school because he was bored with Daddy (!). He'd followed all thr right route to get to me, crossing roads etc and it had taken this long before anybody stopped him and rang the police. But he wouldn't go with the police in the car, insisted on going up to school where he thought I was, so the policeman carried on walking with him to school until the phone call came in from dh to report him missing. Only then did he manage to persuade him to get in the car to come home.

Most awful experience, and dh has the affrontery to be upset when I tell him one of the thoughts going through my mind was what the effect would have been on our relationship if ds has been drowned - assumes our relationship is so solid that it would have survived a catastophe like that .

Original poster

foxinsocks · 17/07/2006 13:46

omg robinia - how old is he? you poor thing

I know it's hard to deal with it when it's one parent that loses the child - I must admit, one thing that made me totally relieved was that dh (who was at work at the time) never once implied that I had been negligent in losing dd (even though I felt like the worst parent in the world). I bet your dh is prob torturing himself internally even if he hasn't said so!

OP posts:

shimmy21 · 17/07/2006 13:56

I know that feeling -especially the way your rational thoughts (they can't have got far, keep calm etc) get taken over by pure panic.

Ds2 did this to me. he ran away from me in some woods because he'd been told off. I managed not to panic until someone told me they'd seen a boy of his description walking away with an old man. At that point yu can imagine -total sheer panic, calld 999 andd was still in the process of explaining to the police where I was by the time he reappeared.

I completely lost it and howled and sobbed all the way home through the woods much to the terror of ds2 and ds2's poor little friend who had come with us

hub2dee · 17/07/2006 14:35

Blimey robinia, what a nightmare ! Again, your ds sounds VERY sensible (not getting in the car, insisting on going to school etc. LOL).

I guess I've got all this to look forward to one day.

Flip

1 2 3