DS 4.25 has assessment today for his behaviour. Vent in progress.

[windypops]

Brief history. The last 3 months of last yr, I was very unwell and ended up in hospital several time having op's etc etc. During this time DS behaviour turned and he played up a lot more, this was both at home and at playschool. Since being well about xmas, Ds has settled down at home and gone back to the kind/caring/helpful/affectionate child that he was before I had my problems, but apparantly his behaviour at playschool has not settled down.

The put him on report about the time it all started, and they have called the head-psycologist in today to assess him.

They have stressed all along that his behaviour is not usually aggressive towards the other children, and it more of a case that he get angry and bottles it up and he will emplode.

I got their observation reports yesterday and it annoyed me a lot, there was about 12 cases of things they had noticed, ok a few made me concerned, but to me it was like ok this women is coming in next week lets notice little things.

I have things like, all the other children walked into playgroup, but DS Ran.

He was gluing something and it wouldn't stick down, do he threw it on the table and huffed away. (is it just my son then that gets frustrated?).

DS hit under the table while his best friend came in and he jumped up and said boo!!!.

They made no comment in the report that I was ill, and also made a comment of one occasion when DS told them to leave him alone he doesn't want to be touched (this was when they touched his arm) they told me this at the time and then said to me that I was probably because he had a cold and wasn't very well (this not mentioned in the report either).

another occasion was that he wanted a certain book at group reading time, and he was not allowed it as the teacher was reading one, they told his twice to sit down, and in the end he got up and got his book and they let him read it. Ds likes firm control and needs to know where the boundaries are.

My ds is not no angel but I certainly know lots worse, and the child they are distribing is not the boy I have at home.

Just wondered really if anyone else had been assessed and what I am likely to expect etc etc.
because I am a little worried, but mostly angry because to me 75% of his reports to me are typical boy behaviour, ie standing in someones way. he is so tall for his age people cant believe he is not at school, wonder if that has something to do with it.

Honest advice as always.

Lars, Sorry you are going through the same, horrible isn't it.

Jimjams, when I was givent he notes that pre-school was giving to the first assessment it mentioned nothing about this incident even though they were fully aware, so I hand wrote it in the notes and made sure they were aware of it. I will also bring this up on Monday if not mentioned.

It doesn't help that I am also getting mixed feelings from the pre-school, head teacher seems to think that DS cant help himself, and his key-worker has said to me that she hopes it is nothing that she has done in regard to her handling him. I am dreading Monday but also hoping it comes quick so we can get this sorted.

It was the first assessor that recommened that they get his spacial awareness and his confusion assessed further. Playschool never picked this up.

Not meaning to belittle the trauma he had when you collapsed which may have affected him emotionally, but if a child has some disorder/disability or whatever, no amount of bad handling, trauma or other outside events are going to be responsible for it, it will be there anyway. However, of course those things might affect how it manifests itslef, how a child expresses it and poor handling may mean a child won't make the development they could. But all those things won't cause a disorder.
The assessment's on Monday? I will be waiting with baited breath. Also, don't underestimate the likelihood that some professionals will also go the platitiude route
Good luck.

At least Monday's not long to wait. I had lot of "platitudes" from professionals in the early days, but once he was seen by the right people it was fine.

Who is doing the assessment? Pre-school advisory can be very wishy washy ime. If you're not reassured by what they say ask if he can be referred on to a developmental paed or clinical psych -you could use the traumatic experience to push for that one (ed psychs ime vary greatly in their ability to spot a developmental problem).

Wouldn't any problem been picked up with the 3.5 year check at the HV?

The developmental checks aren't very good at picking up problems. My son passed his 2 year one (and considering he's now classed as severely disabled and he's not yet 5...) Doesn't mean I think there is anything wrong just that assessments are always worth having.

Sorry Bouncy, but naive in the extreme! Don't know anyone whose child's problems were picked up spontaneously by HV, only if they had gone to them with their concerns in the first place and even then not necessarily.

Sorry to interrupt this thread but was very interested to see Chocotrain's account as your DS shared similar problems to mine. Group activities are my son's idea of a nightmare. Regularly hides under tables, would rather spend the whole afternoon in his room than go to a birthday party. He has other oddities as well.
We are currently going through the assessment process.
What is dyspraxia?

If you go into parenting and read the "how to spot a good nursery" thread you will see - by coincidence - that my son's problems were missed by the HV despite going to her with concerns.
I'm not surprised she missed it- still annoyed with the autism specialist SALT though.

dyspraxia is a problem coordinating movement. My son still has problems with a lot of fine motor activities. And he can't out trousers on etc. Used to not be able to walk and carry things. Traditionally its things like being late to ride a trike etc- but he did all of that on time.

Thanks Jimjams. I have just done a trawl on the internet and can't believe how many of the dyspraxia symptoms my ds seems to have. The only one he doesn't really fit is language as he spoke very early and is beyond his years with language development.
To me, the fit with dyspraxia seems more likely than Aspergers, which the paed consultant mentioned. Anyway, next stop is the behavioural paed consultant, so we'll see what the expert says.
Sorry to interrupt windypops thread.

dyspraxia and AS do share a lot of features. If the pead doesn't mention it make sure you ask about it. A good book to borrow/buy (its in most local libraries) is Madelaine Portwood's Developmental Dyspraxia. She's the fish oil woman and is the UK leading bod on dyspraxia.

Re-assuring to know I am not the only one.

I think the trouble with symptoms of things is that on most levels every child will have at least 1 or 2, and when you are being sensitive or in my case hyper-sensitive, you can start to imagine allsorts. It is a worrying time for all, but just got to say I am feeling a lot better.

DS played in the garden most of the afternoon, he has been no bother, he has bought me some flowers that he picked, he picked them to say I love you mummy, sat still while I cut his hair, and has just finished his dinner saying it was the bestest dinner ever. We did have a nice afternoon in the garden with him pointing out clouds and what shapes he thinks they look like, some imagination.

windypops, sounds like you've had a lovely day Although my son needs a lot of help and support I often love closing the front door with just us home and no more "help" for the rest of the day! I know I'm lucky to get the help I do but often its nice just to be on our own and not have to "think everything through" all the time!

Thanks Davros, have had a lovely day. I guess it will be sorted after Monday because I will then hopefully know whats what, at the moment its the not knowing that is driving me crazy.

Just to let everyone know I dropped Ds off at playschool, confirmed the assessment was today, come home called DH who took afternoon off work, only to receive a phone call saying 'Oh sorry, its next week'. aghhh

How annoying for you. I know that anxious feeling when waiting for appointments and to be told that it wasn't until the following week must have been awful!

Just wanted to say I hope it all goes well tomorrow windypops!!!

Thanks KPB>

Will post after assessment.

Good news

In a nutshell I have a very bright little boy, who needs to be stretched further as he is getting bored. the noises he makes and the way he runs is what she would call typical boy behaviour.

Phew thats a relief

Great news Windypops, you must be really relieved!

Good news Windypops! So what happens next? Is someone going to speak to the school and get them to engage him at an appropriate (higher) level? Is the EP going to give advice to the school and staff because that's what it sounds like is needed.

Great news Windypops!

Davros, she is going to do her report and send it to the school, and also we re-inforced the need to be strict, giving the teacher a few examples of when this has not been the case. Hopefully now they know his assessment has come back normal, perhaps they can start letting him enjoy the session and not picking up on everything little thing he does wrong.
When I pick DS up at lunchtime tomorrow, a trip out is definately in order.

Very pleased to hear this, windypops. It sort of echoes what happened with my youngest son. In our case we did not have to go for a formal assessment, but for a few months wehn he first joined, the nursery were keen to point out at every opportunity that ds1's liveliness was beyond normal. It took our health visitor, the audiologist and our GP to confirm otherwise. My opinion wasn't enough for them!

I still think there was some sort of ticking boxes exercise in progress and the staff were being very conscientious. That's not a bad thing of course, because probelms need to be picked up early, it's just that in our case they overdid it.

Then a new playworker joined the team. She was wonderful and actually told me she was not happy that the main attention my son recieved from the other playworkers was a telling off. She wanted to engage him and gave him lots of input, encouraging him to be quieter and more still. Within a few months all the staff told us he had settled down and was absolutely fine. He left the nursery with a lovely, positive report which stressed his ability to interact with children and adults. He has been at school now for a term and a bit, and no probs so far.

Ds had another assessment today, the same person who assessed him first. She was very pleased with his progress and decided that DS needs no further assessment.

Relief it finally over.

Thats great news windypops.

Im going through similar questions being asked about DS so was relaly interested to read your thread.

Glad you've got it all sorted!
Kizziex